Terrible gifts for a middle aged, or older, woman.

[Aixellency]

Can we make a list?

I’ll start: (This is adult to adult gifts - no judgment regarding presents from children!)

Afternoon tea. Just - why? Not that I don’t like cake and afternoon G&T - but this suggestion is always wheeled out as such a treat, as if one is suddenly too old to get dressed up for a night out.

Mug with a single ‘posh’ teabag. In fact, anything someone else thinks I’ll consider posh - I’m middle aged, I’ve done posh.

Anything at all from Etsy or Not on The High Street. Anything craft-y or home made, unless specifically requested.

Anything ‘safe’ or ‘nice’.

(Please, just stick to Islay single malt, Hermes nail polish, and newly published volumes of art, cookery, fiction or poetry. Thank you.)

Im mid 30s and love an afternoon tea.

These threads are always people looking to be offended yelling 'Im 42 and hate afternoon tea, blankets and candles... stop buying them for middle aged women' when its nothing to do with middle age but your soley your PERSONAL prefrence.

Frankly I cant be arsed to get dressed up and go for a night out, Im not not 18 any more and even at 18 it was hard work, dull and I only did it because I did have my own house and family I love so was killing time.

I would absolutely love the teabag holder for the same reason as you. I have green tea, plain, and it’s amazing how many places have a whole range of herbal tea but none are plain. I’d love my own little carrier!

Im not mad about afternoon tea but would enjoy the company of anyone joining me.

One of my favourite gifts was a small tea caddy, perfect for taking aforementioned teabags away on trips!

I'm coming up to 50 and if someone else gets me a candle, I may be able to rival the great fire of London

No to big, blingy, sparkly jewellery to "brighten me up q bit". I didn't particularly wear it in the 90s, so certainly wouldn't now. I couldn't even fob it off to my dc foe their dressing up box once they developed a sense of taste! No to experience gifts.
Yes to Yankee Candles, gin kits, lotions, perfumes, afternoon teas, plants, scarves - floaty or snuggly.

Anyone heard or been to a gentleman’s tea?

I would love an afternoon tea voucher. Also love bath and body gift sets which everyone on MN hates. Also like mugs.

I'm definitely middle aged

I can only think of a couple of things I would even want to receive & I wouldn't ever ask anyone to pay for the majority of them as they are way over most peoples budget or extremely specific & you'd never guess in a million years.
I'd rather just get an email saying hi, or a phone call or a visit.

Definitely never want to receive another mug as I already have enough to throw a street party for the entire neighbourhood with plenty to spare.

Definitely nothing that is scented or goes on your skin.
Most scented things just make me ill & I'm allergic to most skincare/makeup products.
I also have very specific tastes & hate most scents anyway.

Experience vouchers are a waste of time & get binned.

I have enough gloves/scarves/accessories etc... to last ten football teams a lifetime thank you.

I never want to see another stupid orchid turn up at the door.
Have tried telling people not to send me flowers or plants, but it's a brainless gift people just don't seem to stop buying & for some reason everyone thinks I like orchids.
Last time I tried to refuse delivery, so they just left it on the doorstep.
I took it out of the box, left it just outside my front gate & nobody even bothered to steal it.
Eventually it died out there & I binned it.

Anything cashmere. A jumper, socks etc . Chocolate and wine.

Fortnums did a gentleman’s tea and for all I know they still do. Cheese scones and anchovy toast I think.

Well I love afternoon tea vouchers , homemade stuff and scarves and would hate Hermes nail varnish it single malt.
It's not an age thing it's an individual thing

I love lotions. I just don’t have the space for the amount of perfumes or their lotion I’d like
id like someone to build me a beauty and the beast library please
i still love cuddly toys
I can’t bare Christmas themed stuff. Where will it go now.
stuff that needs somewhere to go.I am a keep everything person. It’s a flaw. If I had the space great. But I don’t.
food and choc always welcome.
hoodies bring them on.

@Abracadabra12345 But it only held one single t bag!!

I don't drink so wine/whisky etc is no good for me. The trouble I have with afternoon tea vouchers is they always seem to be at the arse end of nowhere and I spend almost as much on petrol as they spent on the voucher. I also hate spa days, they don't feel like a treat but more of an endurance as I feel I have to use them.

My kids say I'm a nightmare to buy for but they never want to buy anything I suggest. Lose/lose.

I’m still puzzled by the people wanting to fight me for expressing my personal preferences …

Moving on …

For me the distinction of being in late middle age is that there aren’t many people left to whom I might say “Could we do a long weekend in Marseille?” Or “I’d love some Ann Demeulemeester riding boots ….” Partners and parents were obviously the people who might give something extravagant. Now … I know that flying to New York to buy a particular item of jewellery (the one piece I’d actually care to own) is something I’ll have to give myself. The people likely to offer me something for Christmas are mostly the nibling / sibling variety of relative, so I try to limit my list (this year in particular) to things between, say, £25 and £75, so as not to put them under pressure.

Bit disappointed in those of you who’ve run away with the idea that my life revolves around nail varnish! I’ve probably had five manicures in 60 years and have never been in the same room as a gelled nail practitioner. But I liked the Hermes stuff I tried on - so I’m going to ask for some for Christmas - because it will be affordable for my younger relatives. Shoot me.

And I habitually drink a particular type of red wine. But since even half a case would be a lot more than I could reasonably ask for I prefer to suggest a single, specific type of whisky - and buy my own wine.

And I’m not ever on this earth going to apologise for wanting books! I also like horses and Bentleys and long train journeys and extended Tate membership and very, very obscure opera. Again, these are things I sort out for myself - they don’t make it onto my Christmas wish list.

I like to be bought stuff which is useful, I like shower gel, hand-cream or nice hand wash but decent brands

Pretty earrings also appreciated

Gone off candles

@Notjustanymum I'm the same. I don't like most gifts that last for years. Almost like givers want to you have something to remember them by 😂My favourite gifts are consumable. If someone asked me, I would love to receive skincare or perfume of my choice (but under this condition- hate hit and miss eye creams or some impersonal Garnier gift sets), box of chocolates or nice alcohol. Even cat snacks would make me happy as long as I don't have to put them on display in my house.

Yes to -
Candles, but really only lemongrass or church incense scents, and I also like one candle I bought which was champagne and lily. This rules out all Yankee Candle offerings.
Dark chocolate with nuts in it.
Books - yes to history/ travel/ art, hard no to Sci fi.
No to poetry. Yes to cookbooks.
Massage/facial, especially hot rocks and Swedish massage.
Birds of prey experience.
Car cleaning and detailing, inside and out.
Ticket to art exhibition.
Woolly socks.
Tea.
Quirky mugs.
Boho silver jewelry. Bonus points for clunky styles and semiprecious stones or sea glass.
Dinner out somewhere/ anywhere. I'll eat pretty much anything as long as I don't have to cook it myself or wash up afterwards.
Houseplants.

'You really shouldn't have...' to -
Scarves.
Hats.
Big / blingy/ dangly earrings.
Nail polish.
Anything made of wool *apart from woolly socks.
Ticket to comedy club or live music event.
Live/Laugh/Barf tat.
Slippers. I like the ones I have.
Perfume, unless it's one I have specifically asked for.
Body lotion.
Shower gel.
Bath bombs. I hate baths.
Christmas scented toiletries.

I'm grateful for any presents really but don't need any more gloves or especially glove/scarf/hat combos, or mugs (I'm very picky)

I wish people would think about what I'd like or would suit me, rather than what they like & suits them. I have "winter" colouring, for those who subscribe to such - my "spring" friend buys me lovely stuff that would suit herself perfectly but does nothing for me - less than nothing actually - mustard really isn't something I can wear

I like scented candles but only certain ones, never ever Yankee - bleeurgh!
I like cookbooks but only certain ones - my foodie friend always gets it right
I like scarves but only certain ones - large, thin & wafty is best

Ahis year I’d like a list of how to get through the next year .so if everyone could buy off that it would be the best gifts ever.

I have learnt never to discuss my peri-meno sleep problems to anyone ever again. For my birthday I received no less than four 'sleep set' gifts of lavender lotions, candles and eyemasks. Like I haven't tried everything already? Also, I hate lavender and who the hell leaves a candle burning while they go to sleep?

Ah this is not AIBU
But you are

There are loads of great whiskeys - as long as it's a bit smoky/ peat I'd be happy

What's a Bird of prey experience 😀

oo the single teabag holder sounds perfect! Just goes to show how individual present preferences are - I would also love afternoon tea (have done since my 20s so not because I’m Middle Aged 😅) and would hate nail polish or any kind of alcohol

Chocolates. However lovely they are I just think, 'Really?' I so don't need to get any fatter. I wouldn't be thrilled with afternoon tea for the same reason.
Molton Brown bubble bath - it gives me a rash and feels drying and cheap but costs a fortune.

My idea of good presents is hand weights, yoga mat, trainer socks, workout gloves, workout gear.
But i also love lots of other generic stuff like candles, houseplants etc.

Absolutely loath the idea of afternoon tea. I hate tea.
There is a reason why I don’t want gel nails yet a lovely friend booked and paid for a “luxury manicure and gel polish” it started chipping off within two days and it took months for my nails to recover 😡
I don’t want photo frames and I certainly don’t want them with photos of your children in! I can love your child without needing to look at a picture of them 🤷‍♀️
make up bags
Prosecco
Body lotion
scented candles