Is my mother right about potty training?

[PeterRabbitagain]

My son is 2.2 and we are planning to potty train soon. We were going to do it over summer but I was on crutches so we postponed. My mother has had a go at me saying it's pathetic that I couldn't do it already and that he's getting too old to not be potty trained.

Aside from my mothers unkindness which I'm used to, is she correct about his age? I was under the impression that between 2-3 is normal but my mother said that was wrong.

Get ready for the pressure to get him dry at night. Don't give her the information if you can avoid it. It is even more individual to the child than being toilet trained in the day and I know a couple of young mums who have terrible pressure about it.

I don't understand the reluctance to teach children potty training either. It seems to be common for people to say that they waited until their child could just do it all by themselves from day one. But we don't do that with other things - we don't wait for them to eat until they can sit at the table with a knife and fork and feed themselves, we don't expect them to just start reading of their own accord one day.

It's fine to potty train even if they can't pull their own pants down or wipe themselves. They learn it in stages. Just like everything else.

They had pampers in the 1970s you know 😂

If a child cannot dress themselves there is no point potty training them.

I think years ago mothers were more likely to be home all day as well. When we potty trained it had to be an agreement with nursery that we were doing it.
There was a PITA mum at playgroup who potty trained hers at under 2 and was really snooty about the other kids being in nappies. Problem was her DD literally went for a wee every 10 minutes so missed half the playgroup in the toilet (which wasn’t close). She stopped going anywhere far because she needed the loo so much. Daft.

My generation potty trained much earlier as disposable nappies were not so efficient and comfortable as they are now. My children were all potty trained by 20 months.
My mother used to criticise me as her generation - who had to deal with Terry nappies- had all her children trained to use a potty as very young babies. As soon as they were fed they were held on a potty.
It must be a generational thing.

You can't train for overnight ,its to do with a hormone kicking in

This is true but e.g. DD1 I was pretty sure she was having a morning pee in her nappy so I told her if she had a week of dry nappies she'd be a big girl and wouldn't need nappies at night anymore. She never had a wet nappy or bed again. The other two were completely different, one dry at night as soon as she was dry in the day, the other still in nappies at night age 5.

I don't think I even thought about it for either of mine until they were two and a half.

That happened to coincide with decent weather & being able to be in the house & garden in pants & a t-shirt.

A bigger issue is how awful your mum is though.

How long before she's either treating your son badly or saying horrible things about you to him?

I didn’t boil nappies but it was an absolute pain washing them every day. Mine was a March baby and was reliably trained by the June after he was two. I suspect my enthusiasm to ditch nappy washing motivated me to put a lot of effort in.

They had pampers in the 1970s you know

We did but they were rubbish and stupidly expensive. Hardly anyone used them and those who did were looked down on and judged to be lazy.

Ignore her.
Why not leave it until Xmas if you're home for a few days. I did mine that time of year as I was off work. They were both over 3.

Trained DS just a week short of his 3rd birthday and was so glad I'd waited. The whole thing was a doddle - done and dusted in 3 days. Why not wait ?

Fairly common to potty train very young back in the day when we all wore giant cloth nappies. 3 is completely normal these days in the age of pull ups, night nappies etc and even then there will be accidents.

Because the whole thing can be a doddle, done and dusted within 3 years at 22 months, saving over a year of paying for and changing gross nappies!

You won’t know if you could have potty trained your child earlier if you don’t try.

*3 DAYS not 3 years 🤣

Mine were all just over two when they were ready to ditch nappies and dry during the day, and it was so easy that I decided I was an excellent parent with genius children. Except not one of them was reliably dry at night and out of pull-ups overnight until they were at least 4, and one DS was probably nearer to 6 before we could forgo waterproof under-sheets…

I might be your mum's age. Both of mine were potty trained at about 2 1/2. I waited until I thought they werre ready and it was a doddle with very few accidents. My grandsons were slightly later at about 3 years old. Ignore your mum.

Is your mother alwa

Is your mother always such a dick? Undermining you and criticising your choices?
Between 2 and 3 is the usual age frame for potty training.

Yes my mother is a total unpleasant PITA towards me on all of my life choices, including parenting... and then she wonders why I don't want to visit her very often!

You need to work out how to go low contact with her. Otherwise it will damage your mental health, affect your parenting and damage your son's mental health.

You've been told anytime up to 5 e.g. when they start school is normal. Overnight you can take even longer.

My DS was 3 I think. I was getting judged by DM as she apparently had us all trained by 2.

So he was at the later end of the scale when we tried and more than ready - and it took a weekend to have him reliably dry both day and night. The night dryness though is just luck with hormones so I can't take any credit for that part.

Dsis tried when her DS was only 2. I did suggest that he was a bit young but she wanted to. It was a week of frustration and failure and both of them were stressed and upset. Then she had to shelve it for about 6 months until he was ready to try again. So he was nearly three like my DS anyway when he went into pants.

Wait until your child is ready.

@ItsaMetalBand no your child was and is normal.

It’s a generation thing. They used to sit you on the potty eating your dinner from a real young age. All my were potty trained between 19 months and 2:5 years. I knew when they were ready. Don’t listen to anyone. Do it when your DC is ready.

My SIL couldn't attend playgroup as she was not reliably trained aged 4, she's now 45. Despite this, I had a lot of snippy comments from MIL about DS1 and she started buying pants for him from age 2. I took DS1 out of nappies too soon and it was a massive disaster. I waited with DS3 and DS4 and it was far less stressful.
I think MIL actually wanted me to suffer like she had!

How much do nappies cost per week?

@Chattycathydoll we have a potty. She usually comes and sits on it when I use the toilet. Most of the time brings a book with her so she's definitely understanding what we do on the toilet  I'm getting her used to sitting on it and being comfortable but not started properly potty training just yet. I'm thinking about trying her just before Christmas if she still seems ready. If it is too early we'll just go back to nappies and try again a bit later