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Original poster

Has an ‘outing’ post ever been ‘outed’?

151 replies

Custardandcreamp · 21/09/2022 18:25

Has anyone read a post and realised they know the poster personally? Did you tell them you knew?
I know posts can be pulled when there’s identifying information but I’m curious if it’s ever happened to you or you’ve witnessed it.
There’s a post on AIBU and I know the poster and the truth to what they’re posting about (I won’t say which one out of respect and I’m in two minds whether to contact them with the answer they’re looking for) I just didn’t expect to find a post that I can identify I assumed it wasn’t common.

OP posts:
GiantTortoise · 21/09/2022 18:27

I've been spotted on here by a real life friend. I was really surprised as so many people post on here and it wasn't a particularly identifying thread. Now I name change regularly.

ReeseWitherfork · 21/09/2022 18:28

I’ve had my suspicions but never acted on them!

SpicePearl · 21/09/2022 18:29

I’ve recognised someone twice!

EspeciallyDivided · 21/09/2022 18:30

I have identified three people from my home town, each from a single post. I haven't let on to any of them but they were all people who I don't know that well (mums from school/swimming lessons).

Soubriquet · 21/09/2022 18:31

I think there has

I will always remember the post a mum did where she was ranting because a woman left the cafe without finishing her food as her toddler/baby was making noise.

She made it sound like the woman was personally offended the baby was existing and making normal baby sounds.

The woman saw the post and came on to correct her. The baby was actually screaming, the mother was going nothing to help, and the poor woman had autism and was being triggered so needed to leave.

DreadingWinter · 21/09/2022 18:32

I have. I messaged the OP and told her that the subject was easily identified by anyone that knew them. She had the post deleted. The subject would have been devastated.

nomistake · 21/09/2022 18:34

I've seen someone I know very well on here

RockingMyFiftiesNot · 21/09/2022 18:35

I was spotted under a previous user name. Apparently it wasn't just one post but several which allowed the person who worked out who I was. Makes me very cautious now

Suzi888 · 21/09/2022 18:36

Yes- twice that I’ve seen. Once someone used their actual name in the post and another got outed via a Facebook link.

Original poster
Custardandcreamp · 21/09/2022 18:38

I’m glad it’s not just me! I name change quite often because I tell people my issues in real life then post word for word on here occasionally, so I’m sure someone I know has seen something, which feels quite intrusive. I remember a thread was pulled years ago because it was about someone who was a regular poster and recognised themselves in it, but these days it’s hard to tell a troll post from a genuine one!

OP posts:
FrankTheThunderbird · 21/09/2022 18:39

I 'recognised' someone once years ago when she posted the same thing on here and in a Facebook group. I didnt know her IRL, but we became Facebook friends and I lent her my dining table one Christmas.

If you're still here, Hi! Grin

Dilbertian · 21/09/2022 18:39

Oh yes, several times. That's why I'm a serial namechanger. I say nothing online that I wouldn't say in RL, just not necessarily to everybody. I don't necessarily want my dc's teacher to know about my gynaecological issues.

I've been recognised 3 times to my knowledge (at least, those 3 people let me know in RL or here) and recognised people I know in RL twice, one of whom was one of the people who recognised me.

But then I've been MNing since the dark ages, when there were fewer than 10,000 members. I think all my 'outings', that I know of, happened at least 10y ago. MN is much bigger now. I think it far less likely to happen now.

GrumpyPanda · 21/09/2022 18:47

I've seen it - not on here but on an international martial arts discussion group. Thread about how to handle piercings in training, expat American poster piped up to give his view and specified some of his own piercings involved a rather delicate part of the male anatomy. His bad luck that on other threads he'd been quite open about his location and the style he was training in, and it just so happened to be a dojo I was also attending at that exact time. I kept shtum about it to other dojo mates but it did make it rather odd to train with him from that point onward 😂

TheFormidableMrsC · 21/09/2022 18:51

I had a very long divorce saga on here years ago. Somebody read it and reported back to my ex-h and OW. I was reported to the police for "harassment" and he printed out 3000 posts and produced it in court during children's matters 🙄. He also posted and got a ban. I mean it must be horrifying reading about the utterly vile people you are and they demanded deletion. It's all still here! Never found out who it was that recognised it though. One of OW's friends I guess because it was very specific circumstances.

Original poster
Custardandcreamp · 21/09/2022 18:54

That sounds awful MrsC I hope things are better for you now, shame on anyone who uses their knowledge for their own gain!especially posts related to legal cases putting people and children at risk, sometimes it’s better to turn a blind eye

OP posts:
Wombat27A · 21/09/2022 18:54

I got an email from an organisation asking me to retract a post. 😳

TulipCat · 21/09/2022 18:55

I once recognised a school mum because she posted about a very specific local incident that only she and I witnessed. I didn't tell her though. I post under multiple user names now.

CormoranStrike · 21/09/2022 18:55

My sister recognised me once. Was good enough to tell me. Name change for me.

CloseYourEyesAndSee · 21/09/2022 18:58

Yes, she posted on here and posted the same thing on Facebook. I told her and she name changed.

LosttheremoteAGAIN · 21/09/2022 18:58

I had a friend go looking for me and found me
nothing very exciting-i was honest about how many kids I’ve got and a story about one of them and his dog
i know she went looking for me and she knows I know but we’ve never said anything
i name change all the time so she’s only got a tiny bit of what I write

i think I’ve recognised someone but I’d never say anything to her

HandbagAtDawn · 21/09/2022 19:02

Not quite the same thing but I’ve come across a couple of threads where the circumstances and details quite closely mirror something going on in my life and I’ve thought maybe someone would read it and think it was me.

MrsAppleHead · 21/09/2022 19:03

I recognised one of my friends. She was basically commenting how she was going away with a group of friends with the kids and all she wanted was a dirty weekend with her husband. I knew it was her from the tone and screengrabbed and sent it her - it was!

icebearforpresident · 21/09/2022 19:03

The only time I’ve been recognised on here was when I was struggling with a DIY project, I had posted on one of the boards looking for advice. When I posted the after photo of the completed job a few months later the only person that follows me on Instagram that I don’t know in real life sent me a message asking if I was on here as well. Pretty insignificant in the scheme of things that could out me.

I am conscious of living in a small town so if I’m posting anything a bit more personal I tend to change some crucial details (gender of the people involved, that sort of thing)

mrschocolatte · 21/09/2022 19:09

I realised I knew a poster who posted a thread about her separation and subsequent divorce. I was very good work friends with her now ex husband. I knew they had separated but his version as to why, bore no resemblance to what she posted he had done. It did make me change my mind about him and I have taken a step back from our friendship. I have never told anyone about this. I silently cheer her on and hope she is happy and settled in her new life.

EineReiseDurchDieZeit · 21/09/2022 19:10

I was once on a thread that was pulled.

Someone posted something like I think I recognise this situation, and then a 3rd party appeared who was involved directly.

I ended up feeling a bit sorry for the OP, she was ridiculously unreasonable and had had her backside handed to her, only for people who knew her to see it.