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Original poster

Has an ‘outing’ post ever been ‘outed’?

151 replies

Custardandcreamp · 21/09/2022 18:25

Has anyone read a post and realised they know the poster personally? Did you tell them you knew?
I know posts can be pulled when there’s identifying information but I’m curious if it’s ever happened to you or you’ve witnessed it.
There’s a post on AIBU and I know the poster and the truth to what they’re posting about (I won’t say which one out of respect and I’m in two minds whether to contact them with the answer they’re looking for) I just didn’t expect to find a post that I can identify I assumed it wasn’t common.

OP posts:
JusticeforSpike · 26/09/2022 05:44

I once saw a thread about a man who I knew from childhood (brother of a friend at primary and secondary school, but since never seen her). It was surreal seeing his name and picture on here. He was a prize dick when I was little and seemingly never changed. Obviously thread got pulled as it was saying and shaming.

KermitlovesKeyLimePie · 26/09/2022 06:01

Nah, not to me, but then again, in Classic MN fashion I don't have any friends to "out" me!😆

GardenShack · 26/09/2022 06:08

I've been recognised once, and recognised someone else too. Name change frequently!

EspressoPatronumm · 26/09/2022 06:22

I've seen someone post on here a photo of their bath and then they posted it on a face group I'm on too!

Tootels · 26/09/2022 06:23

mrschocolatte · 21/09/2022 19:09

I realised I knew a poster who posted a thread about her separation and subsequent divorce. I was very good work friends with her now ex husband. I knew they had separated but his version as to why, bore no resemblance to what she posted he had done. It did make me change my mind about him and I have taken a step back from our friendship. I have never told anyone about this. I silently cheer her on and hope she is happy and settled in her new life.

That makes no sense. If the stories were so different how do you know it's the same couple?

Midlifemusings · 26/09/2022 06:29

How do you name change? When I start a thread or comment, my username isn't changeable. It is in a grey box and can't be altered.

Are you creating new accounts each time?

ClottedCreamAndStrawberries · 26/09/2022 06:32

I’ve always wondered this. If it’s so ‘outing’ then why post it? Also, unless it’s a celebrity who regularly goes sky-diving naked with their mate called Tarquin (and mentions the above), I doubt we’d recognise them. I mean, we all know people who play golf on a Sunday/bake cakes for the school fete etc. Those are generally the things that people claim are ‘outing’.

Hopefullysoon2022 · 26/09/2022 06:32

Midlifemusings · 26/09/2022 06:29

How do you name change? When I start a thread or comment, my username isn't changeable. It is in a grey box and can't be altered.

Are you creating new accounts each time?

At the top of the page there's a person profile.
Pres that and then press settings.
You should be able to change userne then.

Thigy · 26/09/2022 06:39

I went to school and then lived near one of the first MN "royalty". She has one of the most "famous" threads in classics. I recognised her initially because she called everyone "dude" and then because she was vicious in her comments just as she was in RL. She also called her daughter something like "devil child", as she did in RL. She was so so nasty to her when she was a little girl, a know of a couple of people who reported her to ss. I felt so sorry for her DP and kids as she wrote such terrible things about them, and used the kids actual names. Thankfully she was banned from here several years ago and all her posts were deleted. This means her kids will never see what she wrote about them. Though tbh it might speed up them cutting contact with her as she won't be able to gaslight them. I've moved across town and don't see her much anymore, but often think about her poor kids. I hope she got some help, or her DP managed to escape with the kids. She used to call him an alcoholic whereas she was always out on the piss! It made me hate going on here in case I saw her posts and then would worry about her children.

TeddyTed · 26/09/2022 06:40

I recognised someone for the first time just a couple of weeks ago, and only as I was browsing active threads at the time. I was quite surprised. Thankfully the person’s thread was fairly innocuous.

Ilovelurchers · 26/09/2022 06:45

I recognised my ex husband's new partner on here as she posted the highly unusual names of their children. Never told her - didn't really care.

Also recognised a friend who posted her child's quirky name.

Tootels · 26/09/2022 06:49

There are millions of users. Most of these outings are probably just a coincidence.

GiantTortoise · 26/09/2022 06:51

Tootels - I thought that, until my friend said to me "is your username xxx?"

madasawethen · 26/09/2022 06:57

No, no one ever recognises me.
The things I complain about, I don't tell anyone IRL.
I name change anyway.

Tootels · 26/09/2022 06:58

GiantTortoise · 26/09/2022 06:51

Tootels - I thought that, until my friend said to me "is your username xxx?"

Yes obviously some will be noticed but unusual kids names and cheating scenarios are actually common.

EveryLeafSpeaksBlissToMe · 26/09/2022 07:00

I embarrassingly name change on here too as I think I am easily identifiable if you search my posts by where I have lived and connect the dots.

I have been approached by journos about some of my posts, once last week.

One of my friends stopped speaking to me a few years ago for no reason and the paranoid in me thinks it is because I mentioned something a friend had done in another thread and she possibly saw it, and looked at my other posts and saw where I lived and put it together. Paranoid!!!!

GetThatHelmetOn · 26/09/2022 07:10

I recognised my partner’s exwife 2 times even when she had changed her name. It was not very specific, it had no names but it was all about the timing of the issues. (Nothing to do with me BTW but sometimes… she takes all her frustrations and anger out on her children)

GetThatHelmetOn · 26/09/2022 07:12

And yes, I change names often but to protect myself and also because I have been quoted in the Daily Fail twice.

mrschocolatte · 26/09/2022 07:15

@Tootels There is way more to this than I initially posted as I didn’t want to bore everyone with the detail. But her version was confirmed by a series of events and it became apparent to us work friends he had been lying to us all. And he also eventually fessed up to a lot of what he did.

EscapeRooms · 26/09/2022 07:16

TheFormidableMrsC · 21/09/2022 18:51

I had a very long divorce saga on here years ago. Somebody read it and reported back to my ex-h and OW. I was reported to the police for "harassment" and he printed out 3000 posts and produced it in court during children's matters 🙄. He also posted and got a ban. I mean it must be horrifying reading about the utterly vile people you are and they demanded deletion. It's all still here! Never found out who it was that recognised it though. One of OW's friends I guess because it was very specific circumstances.

Can I ask something in brackets here so as not to derail the thread?

Did the judge take any notice?

FirstnameSuesecondnamePerb · 26/09/2022 07:20

I change name every couple of months just in case. I suppose someone could join the dots between posts but I mainly comment rather than start posts. I have been on mumsnet for 15 years but rarely post any of my dilemmas anymore due to the risk of being in the tabloid "press". So really I don't blame anyone for changing name.

AlongCameBetsy · 26/09/2022 07:21

I've never been outed, but a few years ago I shared a thread I started about a dramatic life incident with some friends at the time, because it was easier than writing it out again, or telling them face to face. I name change all the time, so it wasn't an issue for me.

I tend to name change at least once a month, and usually swap names depending on the topic I'm posting under.

TatumHigh · 26/09/2022 07:24

Well I did not know you could change username so easily.

Going to do this once a month now...just in case!

Infinisplittive · 26/09/2022 07:28

I saw a comment on a thread that was posted by an acquaintance. (Responding to a v specific post with some very outing details.) the post was fairly innocuous but I went down a rabbit hole and searched her name. Wish I hadn’t, as she’d posted some fairly lively details about her sex life.

ChangedNameAgain99 · 26/09/2022 07:30

Not a recognition as such but a post of mine got picked up by DM. MNHQ we’re very helpful in removing other posts but not threads in that user name to help hide any info on me/family etc I’d posted under that name and now sadly I have to name change regularly!