Has an ‘outing’ post ever been ‘outed’?

[Custardandcreamp]

Has anyone read a post and realised they know the poster personally? Did you tell them you knew?
I know posts can be pulled when there’s identifying information but I’m curious if it’s ever happened to you or you’ve witnessed it.
There’s a post on AIBU and I know the poster and the truth to what they’re posting about (I won’t say which one out of respect and I’m in two minds whether to contact them with the answer they’re looking for) I just didn’t expect to find a post that I can identify I assumed it wasn’t common.

Weirdly, when I had only just joined mn, and not even posted, I read a thread about a specific incident that my sister, who is her neighbour, had told me about the day before. The post on here had a very different take on the incident!

@PyongyangKipperbang 🤣🤣🤣❤️

I’ve recognised two colleagues, some people I know from another forum, someone I was at university with, and my NCT teacher.

One colleague had a thread pulled as she was accused of trolling and I knew it was entirely true. I told her I’d seen it and she said how upset she’d been, but I did also end up reading old posts of her one night when I couldn’t sleep and finding out all sorts of things. I’ve told her I did this by the way and she said she totally expected I would - we discussed it all over drinks.

Yep. And I have a mildly niche job, (only a few 100 of us in the UK. and very, very few that match my description) Worse, it is related to a perennial topic of discussion on MN.

So i name change frequently. Mix up personal details— I’m never consistent on number of kids, our current or previous location or mine or DH job. I have to sit on my hands not to post when peoples are talking bollocks about my area of knowledge.

There was a thread about a sisters beef and one sister was ranting about the other and a few hours later the other sister found the thread and commented on it which was amusing. The thread was obviously pulled but from then onwards, whenever I post a dilemma, I post it a few weeks later also changing details of the sex and ages. I've also name change quite regularly as well but there have been some instances where some of the posts seemed so close to home but I've never searched the history of the users.

Similarly I have quite a bit of professional experience in a field that people like to talk crap about on here, but it’s not only outing to talk about it but also against the rules to discuss it on social media.

In another, less sensitive, role I did once get patronisingly put right about the contents of a publication that, um, I’d written.

Not quite the same but my cousin is widely regarded as the UK's foremost expert in her field.

She was the victim of an attempted "tear down" by a man (natch) online who firtly tried to mansplain her specialism to her and then told her she should read the book she had written to re-educate herself on the subject. Oh my it was glorious!! Especially as the arsehole doubled down, it was so funny!

I haven’t noticed anyone here, but I’m an age where most of my friend group don’t have kids yet so I can’t see why they’d typically be on Mumsnet (mid twenties), as I only joined the site when I was pregnant with my first child.

This thread does lend itself as a reminder to be aware of what you’re posting online, though. Do change some details in your post like ages and perhaps what field you work in (one that’s similar but not quite the same) etc.

This is the thing about our online societies- nothing is truly anonymous. It’s also why I never could get into using Twitter and I’m glad I didn’t. I’m sure the stuff I would have Tweeted about at 16/17 would be horrifying to face now (obviously nothing racist or sexist, etc), but still not things I’d want to necessarily revisit.

I still have a Facebook account and try to delete as many posts from the “What you were doing x years ago” section. I literally cringe at the shite I posted when I was 13/14.

So yes, long story short. The internet never forgets so if you do post something, you need to take some precautions unless you don’t want it to bite you on the arse. Especially as trash rags like the Daily Mail and the Mirror seem to get 90% of their content from Mumsnet these days 🙃. A post with a few hundred responses can suddenly be seen on every social media platform by thousands. It’s scary.

Did she enlighten him at all? I’ve heard similar stories from other friends, although usually involving in-person encounters.

Oddly enough I’m pretty sure it was a male poster who put me straight on my work too. Corrected me on my interpretation of it.

She didnt because she was offering advice on a similar kind of site as MN, so not in her professional capacity as such and she couldnt get involved in that sort of spat. She did make a point of posting something about it on Twitter though in the hopes that he would see it!

I should add that she didnt reference that actual incident but did say "Just love it when people try to tell me I should read a certain book to learn about my specialism when I wrote the book!" (paraphrasing)

Never worked anyone out but the posts where people lie about companies or processes etc are bizarre.
There has been sky ones, banks, funny one about a scratchcard that was deleted. Just outed as bare faced liars!

I recognised a friend once. She was foolish with her username. Along the lines of "motherofsaffronandjude" and then posted about her health condition, including that she was newly pregnant. So I knew she was pregnant long before she announced it in real life. Never said anything, acted surprised when she announced.

I once read a thread about a birthday party I'd been to. It was horrible and took shots at everyone there. It made me sad to think that someone thought such awful things about what was on the whole a nice group. It was so mean spirited.

I was a governor at a school. An aggrieved poster was cross with SEND provision and made up all sorts of conspiracy crap about it.

the reality was really mundane and not at all as deliberately malicious as she thought.

I had two outings. One about a deranged landlord who eventually ended up being cautioned. I had a lot of flack on that one. A few people recognised the story. I would love to write about what happened but I can't.
Secondly over something I posted in talk (should have been chat I didn't realise that was softer ground) about my DD. I genuinely needed advice and someone from my son's school took it down for me for which I was grateful.
I find the search tool intrusive. I have deregistered a number of times when I have been trolled. I need to get better at name changes 😀

I've witnessed one, can't remember the exact details but one sister was offended that her child was excluded from the wedding party. The sister saw the post and retaliated. Post was taken down fairly quickly after that.

I haven't but I do think I have been spotted by a friend. I posted something and she messaged me just a couple of hours later and was using language I had used in the post etc. don't know if I was just being paranoid. Would seem like a big coincidence.

I was in a Facebook group and saw another member post a thread on here complaining about the group. I knew which member it was as the background to the situation was quite specific. All the replies were about how the group sounds horrible, but she had totally misrepresented what happened. I replied and said she was over reacting. Not because I particularly wanted to defend the group, but what she was saying wasn't accurate.

No, but I saw someone criticising my Facebook birth announcement (it was copy and pasted two days later, word for word, to much of a coincidence). I’m not even from the UK, but she is! I then checked on her posts and worked out who it was. Never confronted, but name changed and stopped giving her baby hand me downs!

Too much. I hate that you can’t edit.

@Jiminycrickets ah, agree about editing.
I spelt something incorrectly last week and I was slated for it. It was real mean girls stuff.

Yes I got a message off someone claiming they knew me.
It was a post about a crime that happened where I live.

Now I don't know whether she actually did know me,but it made me realise we're not as Anonymous as we think we are.
I name change regularly now.

Oh your poor thing! Between autocorrect and not being able to edit, it’s the tech making us look like idiots!

I lurk in one of the more political corners of MN and have recognised someone I know in RL because she shares lots of identifying information (she's an oversharer in RL too). Her views are unpopular on MN and she gets torn apart whenever she starts a thread. I disagree with her on that particular subject, but I kind of admire her for coming here and subjecting herself to the onslaught. She's regularly accused of being a troll or lying about who she is, but I know it's all true. I haven't let on to her and don't plan to, because (a) I don't know her that well and (b) it's fascinating to watch.