Has an ‘outing’ post ever been ‘outed’?

[Custardandcreamp]

Has anyone read a post and realised they know the poster personally? Did you tell them you knew?
I know posts can be pulled when there’s identifying information but I’m curious if it’s ever happened to you or you’ve witnessed it.
There’s a post on AIBU and I know the poster and the truth to what they’re posting about (I won’t say which one out of respect and I’m in two minds whether to contact them with the answer they’re looking for) I just didn’t expect to find a post that I can identify I assumed it wasn’t common.

Not quite the same as I never knew exactly who it was, but someone had posted a thread about gender neutral toilets at work and word for word copied the email sent out by the organisation and I realised I worked for the same organisation as them at the time! It wasn’t a massive organisation but they gave away some details that would have made snooping relatively easy had I cared enough to follow it up (which I did not). It really made me realise how easily identifying posters could happen….

I recognised somebody who I work with, they posted their c section date and ages of numerous other children along with a very specific medical issue that one of them has. It had to be her but I never told her, haven't seen her username again either.

I name change all the time

Been in daily mail twice that I am aware of - very boring- 1 was about chocolate and the other I cant even recall

Once had someone posting about something I had written (technical guidance). There were a self proclaimed MN expert in this area (they were not and often spouted crap but people lapped it up). They were wrong and I was desperate to correct them but couldn't as it would have outed me (at the time I was paid a lot of money to be the national expert in what is quite a niche area)

Only one because they put their childrens quite unusual names in one thread and on another thread mentioned her equally unusual surname.
I change username occasionally and if a post seems quite identifing I might swap some unimportant detail like the current age of my children or something.

I’ve recognised 2 friends on here

Both because they posted things they had discussed in real life

one was a very mundane question about tax return which she had asked on our friend whatsapp group

Another who had a WTF story about being uninvited to a wedding after her DH was too ill to go on a stag do which she had told me about in real life, including showing me the horrible messages from the couple
And she had loads of posters rounding on her and accusing her of making it up and embellishing the story
i felt really sorry for her because I knew it was true but didn’t want to come to her defence under my usual username because she would work out who I was, and I couldn’t make a new username to defend her because it would look like a sock puppet

on both occasions, I deliberately didn’t make a note of their usernames

People I used to work with have recognised me here. They know all my stories. But that's ok. We don't know each other now so it makes no difference.

No but I saw my sister in law logged in once when sat at the inlaws so I know her username and seen her post but she doesn't know I'm on here.

An acquaintance (think hairdresser-type relationship) sent me an e-mail recently addressing me as Georgyporky & laughing.
She worked it out from a posting about holidays.

I don't think she's got a nasty bone in her body, but is it possible to permanently change your username?

A few years back a family member I am nc with decided to basically announce my pregnancy (found out through other family) and very identifying details around it and make up a bunch of lies about why I was nc with them and using my baby as a weapon, got lots of sympathy for their fake story and lapped up insults directed at me and validation that I was a crazy person and they are just so lovely.

I wasn't ready to announce my pregnancy as my daughter had died the previous year, but at least 3 people asked me about it after seeing it on here (family member also gave very graphic details of my daughters condition and death).

Makes me very suspicious of people with posts on here where they have done nothing wrong and the person they are talking about is seemingly awful and ott for no reason at all.

You can name change as much as you like. Go to your account settings.

I've twice recognised women from school on here. One was when she told a very particular story about what was happening at the school. I told both of them and didn't search for previous posts.

There's the funny thing about the common hobbies of cycling and golf being "outing" and not able to be mentioned. There was, however, a man, who posted all about his relationship problems and then said what his partner's extremely outing hobby was - she was sailing solo across the Atlantic in a competition the following week! I probably wasn't the only one able to find that woman's name.

I was recognised here once by a mum from school - it was a very specific situation and she messaged me. Since then I’ve been a bit more careful about how much detail I go into.

Yes. She had name changed too but I still recognised her through the details although she had tried to be vague.
I don't see her on here anymore though. She wasn't a close friend just an old school friend that I was still friends with on fb.
I didn't message her. I didn't gossip about the thread to anyone we mutually know either. I kept it to myself.

I have been but it wasn't actually me! Lots of things are more common than people think.

This is why I have approximately 1,234,567 usernames. So that if I'm identified by one post, it's not too grievous.

I recognised someone once. She mentioned the names of her children in a couple of posts and it was a very unusual combination of names so I looked up her username to check and she had another which mentioned her surname and also the city she had recently moved to - she also had some quite personal posts but we had fallen out of touch as had just been colleagues so I couldn't let her know.

Same, I have various names for different things I post about. Some of which I switch up the amount of kids I have, or the sexes of them or other details irrelevant to whatever I'm posting about.

@TheFormidableMrsC · I remember your situation. Is the Ow still in the picture?

Years ago we had a fairly prolific troll on here who used to post about how they had set up a not for profit organisation and all the charity work they do etc etc. They were ultimately banned because when they were challenged on some of the things they posted they set up numerous sockpuppets to tell us all how wonderful they are.

Anyway a couple of years later I encountered the same person on a fb group I am part of. Still spouting the same bollocks, still claiming to be everything they’re not. So one day when they challenged me on a thread I outed them publically by saying “you were <insert username> on mn weren’t you? And you were banned from there for the same things as you’re doing here.”

I make no apology for it. She was a troll who exploited a lot of people for financial gain.

Yes- I recognised a poster from her description of events that had occurred in a small hamlet that is local to me. I messaged her and we exchanged further thoughts on the matter

The trouble with having 123,456 user names is that folks jump on you as a liar, troll because it's your first post. 🙄

I’ve recognised at least three posters on here. One from another forum, one from national news reports and one from work.

I once recognised a friend when she replied to an AIBU post. I was scrolling through first thing in the morning and thought that sounds like me she’s talking about.

I didn’t think too much about it so scrolled a bit more, but I was curious so went back again to read it. I looked at the username and realised it was related to something in her life, so I had a look at more posts under her username and sure enough, it was her. She had posted lots of things on Mumsnet that made her identifiable if you knew her, including some photos that she’d put on Facebook too.

The whole thread was later deleted as it was potentially outing, so I was glad I had read her comment when I did, especially as it was me she was talking about. It was interesting to read her take on something I had supposedly done and realise she had got it completely wrong!

Yes I have one posted on Facebook same dilemma - I told her.

my best friend often tells me about this wonderful mumsnet and how great I would find it - err she thinks I have no interest 😂🤷‍♀️

Yes and we connected on MN as well via DM.

It was under very tragic circumstances and I'm glad we recognised each other and could connect on here. She's wonderful and I'm privileged to know her even though we've never met in person.

I also came across my SIL on here. It was on a thread that was about me and she fessed up to knowing me IRL. I changed by username afterwards so she doesn't know who I am now though.

Someone posted about their husband’s outing hobby and I immediately knew who he was.