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Original poster

Being poor is...

286 replies

TinyPhotoFrames · 21/09/2022 06:28

Money being the last thing you think of at night and first thing when you wake up.
Dreading party invites in school bags.
Wrapping the baby in blankets because it's cold but too early to justify the heating.
Feel free to add your own

OP posts:
Ohifonly · 22/09/2022 19:03

This thread has absolutely broken me.

SisterAgatha · 22/09/2022 19:08

I grew up so poor.

Poor to me is ice inside the windows. Wet curtains. No carpet, just floor boards. Sharing bath water between a family of 3. Sleeping in one bed together for warmth as no heating. Candles when the electric goes off. No milk. Bugs in the cereal. Having really cold thighs that just never warm up.

SisterAgatha · 22/09/2022 19:11

Same @felulageller

I consciously buy things that would help if I ever became poor again. I do think even now and never throw anything away in case I find myself in a position when I can never afford to buy it again. We have a loft full of blankets.

Somethingsnappy · 22/09/2022 19:11

This thread is so upsetting. I was going to add my own as have had periods of hardship in the past, but really, it doesn't compare to what I'm reading on here. I'm so sorry for what people are experiencing.

peaceandove · 22/09/2022 19:14

I'm in the middle of severely culling my wardrobes (youngest DD now also at university so trying to distract myself and not mope too much).

I have a lot of nice quality, barely worn clothes & shoes that I'm more than happy to pass on and pay postage. Size 12/14 for women and size XL for men. I'd much rather they went to someone on here than give them away somewhere else.

Povertystricken · 22/09/2022 19:27

Somethingsnappy · 22/09/2022 19:11

This thread is so upsetting. I was going to add my own as have had periods of hardship in the past, but really, it doesn't compare to what I'm reading on here. I'm so sorry for what people are experiencing.

It doesn't matter if it compares or not. All experiences are valid

oakleaffy · 22/09/2022 19:46

lickenchugget · 22/09/2022 06:33

Way to miss the point of the thread.

Show quote history

Clearly person who wrote this has NEVER gone without food for days.
Hunger hurts.

SushiSuave · 22/09/2022 20:16

Not having options. Having to shop in the cheapest shop, having to rely on other peoples schedules to dale you to the cheapest shop because you had to get rid of your car, never eating out or getting a takeaway. Never buying something just because you fancy it, only if you need it.

It's depressing, crushes your self worth and makes you feel like a bad parent.

TheRealKatnissEverdeen · 22/09/2022 20:17

So many of these posts remind me of things I'd pushed deep down but are always with me and the reason I strive so hard but still have fear in me.

I'm a size 6 to 7 shoes, size 12 clothes with quite a bit going spare if anyone needs stuff for winter (jeans, jumpers)
I have boys clothes and shoes size 3 up to 6. Also lots of nearly new toys. PM me.

Somethingsnappy · 22/09/2022 20:17

Povertystricken · 22/09/2022 19:27

It doesn't matter if it compares or not. All experiences are valid

Show quote history

Yes, you're right of course.

For me, it was the fear of post arriving, as lots of pp have said. And feeling sick with worry when something went wrong with the car, as we were totally stuck without it, and not a spare penny to fix it. But also, arguments... Lots of arguments. Dh and I don't fall out much, but in the past, our arguments would always be about money, or caused by the stress of worrying about money.

DuesToTheDirt · 22/09/2022 20:33

This thread reminds me of that I saw recently. The have no pleasure in life at all, and the woman looks so thin. I wonder what happened to them all.

Riseabove · 22/09/2022 22:35

DuesToTheDirt · 22/09/2022 20:33

This thread reminds me of that I saw recently. The have no pleasure in life at all, and the woman looks so thin. I wonder what happened to them all.

What a moving documentary.. I hope the childrens lives did become easier

Purplelion · 22/09/2022 22:40

I’m sure I’ve mentioned this before but I’ll tell the story again.

My nan has a horrendous attitude to money, she really judges people who don’t have a lot and is convinced it’s because they don’t budget.
my car broke down a few years ago, I didn’t have £6 spare let alone the £600 I was quoted to fix it. Rather than be sympathetic she basically told me that most people would have access to £600 and it was my own fault for not budgeting wisely.
Every single penny is accounted for, he answer was to get rid of unnecessary expenses like the internet. I tried to explain to her that internet isn’t a luxury, I have a DC in year 11, she needs internet. There’s no explaining to my nan though and she’s adamant that I’m where I am financially due to over spending.

Guess who she voted for

OldManEmu · 22/09/2022 22:47

Purplelion · 22/09/2022 22:40

I’m sure I’ve mentioned this before but I’ll tell the story again.

My nan has a horrendous attitude to money, she really judges people who don’t have a lot and is convinced it’s because they don’t budget.
my car broke down a few years ago, I didn’t have £6 spare let alone the £600 I was quoted to fix it. Rather than be sympathetic she basically told me that most people would have access to £600 and it was my own fault for not budgeting wisely.
Every single penny is accounted for, he answer was to get rid of unnecessary expenses like the internet. I tried to explain to her that internet isn’t a luxury, I have a DC in year 11, she needs internet. There’s no explaining to my nan though and she’s adamant that I’m where I am financially due to over spending.

Guess who she voted for

God that's infuriating. I hate that the people who tell you that the internet is a luxury are the same people who voted in a party who mandated the use of the Internet to access any financial help (universal credit).

LunaTheCat · 23/09/2022 00:24

This thread should be headlined in Mumsnet - it should be compulsory reading to open a Mumsnet account.
it’s horrific, just horrific.
Today the poor are hidden away .. their own housing estates, their own parts city, entire suburbs poverty, inter-generational poverty. This should not be acceptable anymore. I feel sick to my stomach, absolutely sick.

Charlavail · 23/09/2022 07:56

LunaTheCat · 23/09/2022 00:24

This thread should be headlined in Mumsnet - it should be compulsory reading to open a Mumsnet account.
it’s horrific, just horrific.
Today the poor are hidden away .. their own housing estates, their own parts city, entire suburbs poverty, inter-generational poverty. This should not be acceptable anymore. I feel sick to my stomach, absolutely sick.

Poor people are constantly villianized on MN. I remember a thread recently when people were furious that someone was upset about the energy prices but had a smart phone. So much of our lives now requires the Internet. Regardless why shouldn't poor people have nice things? Some people on this website would have people literally wear rags, self-flagellating in the streets for "not working hard enough" which is another bullshit MN notion.

ShirleyJackson · 23/09/2022 07:59

I bet the Daily Fail don’t pick this thread up, the Tory shitrag that it is.

Bloody should, though. Might do a bit of good for once in its miserable life.

Elleherd · 23/09/2022 08:46

ShirleyJackson · 23/09/2022 07:59

I bet the Daily Fail don’t pick this thread up, the Tory shitrag that it is.

Bloody should, though. Might do a bit of good for once in its miserable life.

TBH it's why I haven't posted details. Two of us as kids where photographed by Nick Hedges for Shelter in the 60's along with the deri we lived in. It was meant to be to highlight the state of housing but it caught so much more. The shame of who and how we were has never left. Both of us stared defiantly into the camera, one unable to wait to eat what we'd just got. People wondered why we were feral and aggressive towards being photographed but so easily bribed into compliance.

I've still a way to go yet, but I'm slowly but surely headed back to what I came from, but I will not be used as anyone's poverty porn to weep over again.
The rich and powerful designed and voted for systems that ensured we were as we were, while fearing us. They were right to.

BirmaBrite · 23/09/2022 08:52

The pretend poor always gave me the rage when I was on the bones of my arse. The pretend poor are those who have a relatively small income but have thousands in savings, poor to me equals absolutely no buffer, not one you have ideologically chosen not to touch.

YoSofi · 23/09/2022 08:53

I have some girls clothes age 6-7, some size 10 shoes and some boys clothes that would fit around age 11 including a water proof jacket that is fleeced lined.

Im midlands (nottinghamshire) but happy to post if they are of use to anyone. PM me if so.

Meklk · 23/09/2022 08:57

I couldn't say I experienced it but one moment really made me think how lucky I am to have food on the table, clothes

L1ttledrummergirl · 23/09/2022 09:02

Similar happened to my mum @Elleherd. My uncle recently described them as feral growing up. Mum still talks about the day the community were moved from their slum rundown house to a council house.
She describes the wonder of having water that came out of taps in the house.

Maybe something similar needs to happen now to bring the reality home to the fuckwits in government who choose to ignore what's under their noses.

Meklk · 23/09/2022 09:06

Meklk · 23/09/2022 08:57

I couldn't say I experienced it but one moment really made me think how lucky I am to have food on the table, clothes

And heating on. I'm coeliac, eating everything gluten free and my husband bought noodles (gluten) by mistake. So I simply put that 5 pots on my front fence (I usually do that, especially with kids clothes as there are really struggling families in our street). I was doing something in my living room when I heard women crying. She couldn't believe she found some food for free. We spoke and I was heartbroken - she had last £1 for a week (single mum with a toddler). I gave her some money and some treats for her toddler. She invited me for a tea few weeks later and I couldn't believe someone can live like this in UK these days - super damp, cold tiny flat with mattress on the floor, no oven, no microwave, she had only a kettle. Everything was spotless clean but sooooo poor. I asked all my friends to donate what they can - slowly her flat was furnished, I was looking after her son while my friend offered her some job at the local shop. It was two years ago, she is much better now but I remember her almost every single time I'm buying some treats for me or my child.

namechangeagain123456 · 23/09/2022 09:33

@Meklk you sound like a real life angel ❤️

Elleherd · 23/09/2022 09:35

L1ttledrummergirl · 23/09/2022 09:02

Similar happened to my mum @Elleherd. My uncle recently described them as feral growing up. Mum still talks about the day the community were moved from their slum rundown house to a council house.
She describes the wonder of having water that came out of taps in the house.

Maybe something similar needs to happen now to bring the reality home to the fuckwits in government who choose to ignore what's under their noses.

I don't mean to be bleak, but that day didn't come for us. My mother died one night, and almost 13, with nothing left I walked away to be a homeless teen elsewhere.

A few years ago I was tracked down by a tv researcher looking to make a program on what happened to us all, and how lots hadn't changed for a new generation.

It was sold as I'd be helping others not go through what we did.

I thankfully smelt a rat early (have a keen nose for them) and withdrew.
What they made under the 'sympathetic voice over' and interviews, went on to intermingle the stories of now grown up kids that were living in run down housing and acute grinding poverty back then, with today's chaotic drug addicts and alcoholics hungry and loosing their homes through poor choices today, as if we were all one and the same and the implication of the causes being the same.

I'd suggest something different "needs to happen now to bring the reality home to the fuckwits in government who choose to ignore what's under their noses." They know what they're doing. All of them.