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Original poster

Leaving DC alone opinions

119 replies

DaanSaaf · 09/09/2022 16:40

Just wondering if this would be a yes or no to leaving dc alone under these circumstances.
DC are almost 10 and 12, have been getting left alone for gradual longer periods over the last few months. Currently leave them for around an hour during the day to pop to the shop etc.

Dh has suggested going for a drink tomorrow night and leaving them, details are:
Pub is 5 minute walk away
We would probably go 9-11 ish
DC both sensible, don't often fight, very rule abiding
Both have phones
Next door both sides are good friends if needed
We have cameras so can see if anyone approaches the door

Yay or nay?

OP posts:
KangarooKenny · 09/09/2022 16:41

I wouldn’t want to leave them when they will be sleeping, in case of fire etc.
Cant you go earlier ?

rubyslippers · 09/09/2022 16:43

Nay
can you go to the pub earlier?

Albgo · 09/09/2022 16:43

Get a babysitter. They're too young to be left alone - I wouldn't even be leaving them for an hour in the day, but definitely not at night.

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hellcatspangle · 09/09/2022 16:44

Agree with PPs, I'd be going earlier before their bedtime.

Original poster
DaanSaaf · 09/09/2022 16:44

Sorry, should have said they wouldn't be sleeping. They are awake past 11 on weekends. We can absolutely get a sitter, that's not an issue but I'm trying to increase independence.

OP posts:
Original poster
DaanSaaf · 09/09/2022 16:46

Albgo · 09/09/2022 16:43

Get a babysitter. They're too young to be left alone - I wouldn't even be leaving them for an hour in the day, but definitely not at night.

You think they're too young to be left in the day?! They play out for longer than an hour without supervision, both walk to and from school!

OP posts:
Original poster
DaanSaaf · 09/09/2022 16:48

We could go earlier, we can get a babysitter, and we can just not go! It's not an event or anything, it's just popping to the local.

OP posts:
ChineAndWheeseParty · 09/09/2022 16:50

We have DC of the same age.

We are happy to leave them alone for an hour or so during the day (similar set up re neighbours each side, camera etc)...but I absolutely wouldn't at night. It's dark, they'll be sleeping, risk is higher...no.

dementedpixie · 09/09/2022 16:51

I'd say its fine.
You are only 5 minutes away. You could message a few times to see how they're getting on.

Comedycook · 09/09/2022 16:51

No.

My DC are 11 and 14 and no way would I do this.

rookiemere · 09/09/2022 16:52

I'd go, but go a bit earlier- say 7-9.
Just feels a bit late for the 10 year old to be home alone with a 12 yr old effectively in charge.

Cryingbutstilltrying · 09/09/2022 16:53

My dc are the same age.
I would be fine with this if they could be trusted not to fight, not ill etc.
Mine both get themselves to and from school, even crossing roads and getting a bus (older one).
However given the outcry on the class messenger group when this came up, I suspect I might be the only one.
I once had to leave my 12 year old for 3 hours by herself due to crossed wires with DH over appointments. I don’t think she even noticed I was out (she knew, I told her).
Is it any wonder so many teens are utterly useless?!

Bytrgrewd · 09/09/2022 16:55

Yes I certainly would.

popandchoc · 09/09/2022 16:56

no not in the evening I wouldn’t .

FurAndFeathers · 09/09/2022 16:56

Comedycook · 09/09/2022 16:51

No.

My DC are 11 and 14 and no way would I do this.

You wouldn’t leave a 14 year old in their own home for a couple of hours?

you know in a couple of years they can legally leave home?
shy not teach them some life skills?

I was babysitting other peoples kids at 14

Original poster
DaanSaaf · 09/09/2022 16:56

Massive difference in opinions here, I'll probably leave it for now. I will just reiterate though I wasn't leaving them sleeping, I wouldn't suggest that.

OP posts:
BiggerBoat1 · 09/09/2022 16:57

It's a no from me. Too young to be left at night. Sorry.

dementedpixie · 09/09/2022 16:59

It's for 2 hours while they're awake. What is the issue?

Lindy2 · 09/09/2022 17:00

I'd probably switch it to 8pm - 10pm and would phone them during the evening to check they're OK.

In view of the fact you're 5 minutes away and they'll still be awake I think it's a reasonable thing to do.

It's only 2 hours.

I'm quite shocked at a PP saying they wouldn't leave their 14 year old at all. How on earth are some children ever going to gain any independence skills. Learning to spend time without adult supervision is an important life skill.

GetThatHelmetOn · 09/09/2022 17:00

I don’t think I left mine on his own at night until he was 16. It just didn’t feel right even when he could perfectly spend 2 hours on his own before I got back from work in the afternoon and was quite streetwise.

But then, my mother had a 12 year old baby sitter when we were young children and we survived!

carefullycourageous · 09/09/2022 17:02

I wouldn't leave them alone in the evening at that age, just get a sitter.

SPSM · 09/09/2022 17:02

At 12 my mum would waitress till the early hours and I’d be left looking after a 6 year old. We were left money for a take away and locked the door once we’d walked back from the Chinese. We were fine, however, my gut feeling is you should start off going earlier and build up to 11pm

Snowiscold · 09/09/2022 17:04

I’m astonished at pp saying they wouldn’t leave a 12-year-old or 14-year-old alone for an hour. It’s fine. I would go out, but perhaps not 9-11. Can’t you go earlier? 7-9?

Comedycook · 09/09/2022 17:06

Snowiscold · 09/09/2022 17:04

I’m astonished at pp saying they wouldn’t leave a 12-year-old or 14-year-old alone for an hour. It’s fine. I would go out, but perhaps not 9-11. Can’t you go earlier? 7-9?

I leave my 14 year old at home during the day for an hour or so but I certainly wouldn't leave them alone with a younger sibling after dark.

Comedycook · 09/09/2022 17:08

@FurAndFeathers yes I'd leave my 14 year old at home during the day but I would not leave them alone in the evening until 11pm and certainly not in charge of a younger sibling.

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