Leaving DC alone opinions

[DaanSaaf]

Just wondering if this would be a yes or no to leaving dc alone under these circumstances.
DC are almost 10 and 12, have been getting left alone for gradual longer periods over the last few months. Currently leave them for around an hour during the day to pop to the shop etc.

Dh has suggested going for a drink tomorrow night and leaving them, details are:
Pub is 5 minute walk away
We would probably go 9-11 ish
DC both sensible, don't often fight, very rule abiding
Both have phones
Next door both sides are good friends if needed
We have cameras so can see if anyone approaches the door

Yay or nay?

12-14 year olds who have never been home left alone is not a good thing.

This is terrifying. Goes some way to explain why kids are so ill equipped to cope practically and emotionally as they get older. The posters who won't leave their 14 year olds alone are weirdly over protective and not doing their kids any favours either.

Op I think your suggestion is fine, I'd have no issue

The issue imo is the time rather than the ages.

I do leave my 14yo home alone. Just not at 11pm.

Absolutely , I would . As long as they and a phone and could keep in touch .

At 9 and 12, I dont think its the length of time that's a problem, but the lateness of the return.

So pub 8-10, given their bedtime, probably ok, but being out later seems a bit off - but then my 2 are fast asleep by 11!

I think its a bit late - especially for the first time (not that I think anything is going to happen).

I have a weird rule of thumb which is what would it look like if reported in the newspapers! So by that reckoning being in the pub till 11pm is not good whereas going from 6-8 or 7 - 9 seems perfectly reasonably. You could gradually work it up.

My parents left me home alone for two weeks when I was 14 and they went abroad to Tunisia 😂🙈 I didn't want to go. My next door neighbour was on hand if I needed anything, my disabled gran was in respite care at the local cottage hospital so I walked to visit her everyday. Think I lived on takeaways and ready meals. No deliveries so I had to walk into town. I was sensible though, only had one night alone because different friends would stay over. I wouldn't do it now with my own kids though but I was an only child and loved having the house to myself.

When I was 14 I used to babysit and one and a four year old sometimes all night long Teenagers are so molly coddled these days they are all gonna be useless adult

Hahahahaha I expect you are parent of the year

No I wouldn't. Night alone is different.

It's fine.

I was dog sitting alone for the neighbours until gone midnight at fourteen!

My dd was travelling to and from London on her own at 13.

Leaving them at home on their own depends entirely on the temperament of the child in question, surely?

Why?
are you worried they’ll get darked on?

You are only five minutes away and will be in regular phone contact. If there are any issues then they can call you and you will both be back very quickly. You describe them as being sensible so why not so long as they are happy. I would just go through a few rules with them etc but you should go. Years ago people had to leave their kids at young ages because they had no choice but to work. Also 11pm bedtime at the weekend is ok .

9 seems quite young to me. But my eldest is (nearly) 7, so maybe I’ll feel differently when the time comes. From an outsider perspective with younger kids it just doesn’t sit right with me.

I would go a little earlier but as long as the kids are fine with it, I don’t see an issue. Most kids those ages can stay home alone for a few hours without issue. And they aren’t even alone, there are two of them. You know your kids. If they can handle it, then it is fine.

I'm so confused what PP think dark will do to children safe in their homes.

So once winter sets in a 14 year old can't be home alone after 4pm?

I would get shot down in flames. My 14 year old looks after his 9 and 8 year old brothers if they don't want to come on a dog walk or the supermarket, he also stays up later than me gaming on a weekend night. That said he's vastly sensible, knows the rules and consequences if he breaks them, is excelling at school and I also have fab neighbours if there is a problem. (He also knows all escape routes if there is a fire). op imo I can't see a problem with what you are suggesting, children need to learn some independence and you wouldn't be thinking about the pub unless you actually thought your dc would be alright on their own.

OP's kids aren't 14 - they are 9 and 11. I think OP is right to question it and ultimately should just do what the kids feel comfortable with. I wouldn't ask my 11 year old to babysit his nearly 8 year old brother yet, definitely not at night but I guess it really depends on the kids and how mature they are.

So you want to leave your underage kids just so you can pop down the pub to have a drink?

🙄

Err it's illegal.

I think it’s fine

9 and 11 is too young. Maybe when 12 and 14.

I’d either go in the afternoon 1-3, 3-5 or 7-9 but wouldn’t go 9-11 at those ages.

But a lot depends on your kids, you and the area where you live etc.