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Original poster

Leaving DC alone opinions

119 replies

DaanSaaf · 09/09/2022 16:40

Just wondering if this would be a yes or no to leaving dc alone under these circumstances.
DC are almost 10 and 12, have been getting left alone for gradual longer periods over the last few months. Currently leave them for around an hour during the day to pop to the shop etc.

Dh has suggested going for a drink tomorrow night and leaving them, details are:
Pub is 5 minute walk away
We would probably go 9-11 ish
DC both sensible, don't often fight, very rule abiding
Both have phones
Next door both sides are good friends if needed
We have cameras so can see if anyone approaches the door

Yay or nay?

OP posts:
Jindle1 · 09/09/2022 20:08

I'd leave either of them independently but probably not both together. For me, it's about making the older responsible for the younger if something does happen.

Stokey · 09/09/2022 20:14

Interesting variation of answer OP. My kids are the same age and I was wondering similar tonight. DH has a friend staying and they were going out for dinner locally. I could have joined them and left the kids but decided against it, mainly because it was too spontaneous and I hadn't prepped them. Also would have gone earlier, more like 7.30-9ish.
But I was also thinking 12 year old is nearly 13 and 13 seems acceptable. We've had 14 year old babysitters.

UpToMyElbowsInDiapers · 09/09/2022 20:20

FurAndFeathers · 09/09/2022 16:56

You wouldn’t leave a 14 year old in their own home for a couple of hours?

you know in a couple of years they can legally leave home?
shy not teach them some life skills?

I was babysitting other peoples kids at 14

Show quote history

I was babysitting other people’s kids at 12! Including at night. I’m stunned by the responses here. I had a very normal, middle-class upbringing in a major city, with what I would have considered to be pretty risk-averse parents. I was definitely left home alone in the evenings for a few hours every now and then from around age 11 onwards (typically in charge of bedtime for my 2 younger siblings!). I loved the sense of responsibility. I’m convinced it set me up with some significant life skills.

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Families
LilacPoppy · 09/09/2022 20:22

No , and letting a 9 and 12 year old regularly stay up till 11pm or later is pretty crap parenting too.

Original poster
DaanSaaf · 09/09/2022 20:23

It's funny, the first few answers made me feel like a terrible parent for ever considering this, the later ones are the opposite. Those asking about temperament, chances of fighting etc I did say in my op. They're sensible kids, eldest in particular is more mature than a lot of adults I know. I would be in contact every 20 minutes or so (as I am if I pop out during the day). Again, it's just something dh mentioned so I thought I'd get opinions. I don't have plans, it was more so if we fancy a pint tomorrow should we leave them. If I do decide to go it won't be til 11 anyway.

OP posts:
Original poster
DaanSaaf · 09/09/2022 20:24

LilacPoppy · 09/09/2022 20:22

No , and letting a 9 and 12 year old regularly stay up till 11pm or later is pretty crap parenting too.

😂 get over yourself

OP posts:
NothingIsWrong · 09/09/2022 20:27

Who doesn't leave a 14yo?! I had to leave my then 12yo for full working days during covid, and was then told that I was ridiculous for thinking this was unacceptable, because PANDEMIC.

This place is crazy.

allboysmum3 · 09/09/2022 20:29

Difficult one. But they are your children and none of us can comment as to their maturity. If they are awake and you are 5 minutes away and they are happy to be on their own then I would for an hour. They walk to school alone and play out so you obviously trust them. They can call you anytime to come home so what's the worst that can happen.

JustFrustrated · 09/09/2022 20:30

I would, and do.

We'll go out for a meal and leave ours alone for that long comfortably.

Soubriquet · 09/09/2022 20:31

No.

12 and 14 yes. Not 10 and 12

Meltingsocks · 09/09/2022 20:37

Comedycook · 09/09/2022 16:51

No.

My DC are 11 and 14 and no way would I do this.

@Comedycook

Why ever not? I had a 14 year babysitting my two when they were little

girlmom21 · 09/09/2022 20:42

It's funny, the first few answers made me feel like a terrible parent for ever considering this, the later ones are the opposite.

You often find the first handful of responses will match whatever the first person said. Then someone comes along who's brave enough to go against the grain and everyone else then feels able to voice their actual opinion.

Connie2468 · 09/09/2022 20:42

I absolutely would!

From 11 mine stayed home alone all day if there was an inset day at school.
I leave my 8 year old alone for half an hour.

washingbasketqueen · 09/09/2022 20:46

I was also babysitting at 12, including young babies too. I wouldn't leave a 12 year old now.

Hoppinggreen · 09/09/2022 20:46

I wouldn’t be comfortable with that.

Ilovelurchers · 09/09/2022 20:49

Oh it's fine! You are very close to home if there is a problem. Just ask them to text every half hour or so if you are worried. There are two of them which means they won't get nervous. (I mean, maybe they wouldn't anyway....)

Ilovelurchers · 09/09/2022 20:50

I have left my DD who is 10 for half an hour or so alone in the day. And she pops to the shop without me and stuff now.

I'd be even less worried if she was with a similar age sibling or friend.

pimlicoanna · 09/09/2022 21:04

There's no chance I'd do that

Beezknees · 09/09/2022 21:09

I don't leave my 14yo in the evenings so it's a no from me.

Beezknees · 09/09/2022 21:11

NothingIsWrong · 09/09/2022 20:27

Who doesn't leave a 14yo?! I had to leave my then 12yo for full working days during covid, and was then told that I was ridiculous for thinking this was unacceptable, because PANDEMIC.

This place is crazy.

I leave my 14yo in the daytime, I wouldn't leave them in the evening until 11pm.

GreyTS · 09/09/2022 21:12

This is so crazy!! My 11 and 13 year olds walk home from school alone (different schools) every single day, home to an empty house and make something to eat, do their homework and get changed into sports clothes. I arrive home at 6, drop them to soccer/cross country/jiu jitsu etc. I don't tend to leave them in the evening because I generally socialise when they are their dads, however I'd be fine to leave them for 2 hours while I went for dinner/the pub 5 mins walk away

GreenClock · 09/09/2022 21:14

Thinking back, I think I did this. Or maybe they were 11 and 13. Not sure.

I think it’s ok though, especially if you give them a quick call halfway through.

Orangello · 09/09/2022 21:15

of course it's fine. babysitter for a 12yo, come on? I WAS a babysitter that age.

Beezknees · 09/09/2022 21:16

Orangello · 09/09/2022 21:15

of course it's fine. babysitter for a 12yo, come on? I WAS a babysitter that age.

People always say stuff like this. A 12 year old babysitting young children is not a good thing.

Hoolihan · 09/09/2022 21:17

This thread 🤣

Yes I would happily leave them in this situation. My 14yo has stayed at home overnight on his own and is still alive.