Leaving DC alone opinions

[DaanSaaf]

Just wondering if this would be a yes or no to leaving dc alone under these circumstances.
DC are almost 10 and 12, have been getting left alone for gradual longer periods over the last few months. Currently leave them for around an hour during the day to pop to the shop etc.

Dh has suggested going for a drink tomorrow night and leaving them, details are:
Pub is 5 minute walk away
We would probably go 9-11 ish
DC both sensible, don't often fight, very rule abiding
Both have phones
Next door both sides are good friends if needed
We have cameras so can see if anyone approaches the door

Yay or nay?

Depends, I think on the children. My 10yo would be scared to be left when it was dark outside, plus I wouldn't feel comfortable out at night drinking while they are still quite young.

During the day ok though, maybe do a weekend pub lunch

If the eldest was 14 I'd say it wouldn't be a problem but at the ages you'd say I'd go for a couple of drinks on a Saturday afternoon instead. They'd be fine on an afternoon especially if they get on. Then maybe build up to dinner out 7-9/10pm when eldest gets to 13.

Feel like 14 is a good age to babysit and get more responsible.

We started leaving DD15 and DS12 until 8pm. We then had tickets to a gig and our babysitter fell through - we left them until 11 and they were totally fine. We talked to them first and they were totally relaxed about it though so I think it depends on their attitude.

To be fair I think 10 and 12 is too young though.

I have a 12 year old. I would leave her, as long as she was happy with it.

I'm usually very cautious but I wouldn't hesitate to leave them 👍🏻
Your 5 mins away and they have phones🤷‍♀️

I would be absolutely fine with this. And yes I have dc at the same/similar age and do do this and will again. They are fine with it, my main issue would be fighting.

what would be the worry, for those who wouldn’t do it?

What ??? FGS most of us were babysitting other kids at 14. God help their chances of becoming independent adults.

I think its fine. You need to build up their independence, and you know your kids.

I wouldn’t at those ages no it’s the time though I left mine in the day but not at that time of night

Yep.. wouldn't bother me. But then again I don't see child killers and arsonists lurking behind the bushes waiting for me to leave the house.

The greatest danger is from themselves within the house. Do they fight ? Are they likely to see this as an ideal opportunity to start doing chemistry experiments with highly flammable liquids ? If so then probably not a good time to start independent living... However if they are like 99% of the 10 &12 year olds I know they will barely look up from their screens long enough to realise you are even out.

It's your call OP.. are they potential arsonists ?

I would earlier in the evening, when still light outside, but not at that time

https://www.nspcc.org.uk/keeping-children-safe/in-the-home/home-alone/

I would ask the kids how they feel. Would they be happy with it? Will they bicker/argue? Are they likely to answer the door etc etc. I have three boys and the eldest was 14 before he started babysitting his younger siblings. It didn't feel right before then but all kids are different and I think that you as a parent have to make that judgment call.

I would.

As a single mom many years ago I had a 14 year old babysitter for my then 2 year old dd so I cannot understand the PP who wouldn't leave her 14 year old.

I have DC's of 10,12, 14 and 18 and usually the 18 year old is around to keep order but I have left the younger 3 during the day for a few hours, they are fine.

Leaving them for two hours if they're already left for an hour regularly is fine.

They will be fine. When my kids were that she l worked 6pm till 3am. They were left alone as l had no choice. The only rules l had were not cooking anything and no showering in case they fell.
As long as they have means to contact you and your not getting pissed l can't see a problem.

If the 14 year old is like I was back then you won’t be the only one having a drink 😉. I’d check the wine bottles when you get home 😁

Go earlier. 11pm is too late.

I would definitely do this. It depends on the kids but at those ages I can't see any issue.

TBH I think you are a bit daft to be swayed by Mumsnet opinion.

Jesus I'd not even think twice about this

Go

At 11 most children round here occupy themselves for hours after school etc.

Christ, our babysitter is 13! I'd be very worried if my teen couldn't be trusted alone with a sibling for a few hours.

Good grief, I was babysitting at 13 until the early hours of the morning sometimes, I can't believe people wouldn't leave14 year old!

They are a bit too young to leave them for an evening.

My dc11 (just turned) has her own key and lets herself into house 1 day a week- mostly for 1 hour. School only across the street. We have ring doorbells and blinks around the house all connected to our phone and she has a phone. I would leave her in the evening for an hour or so if we were just going to the local pub (3mins away) but not from 9-11, probably 6-8. I think 11pm is too late to leave them at that age.

OP this is one of those questions that will have every answer under the sun because it depends on so many factors like the temperaments of your kids, your exact whereabouts and contactability. Also a SP here and so have left my kids alone at earlier ages than might have otherwise been the case. Awake, on screens, locked door and you 5 mins away, yes.