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Original poster

Can family just turn up at your house?

124 replies

notonur · 03/09/2022 22:08

My Nan feels that it's odd my MIL pre arranges visits, and you can't just 'pop by' . My single SIL is the same. You need to say in advanced if you're coming up, needs to be agreed to etc. I am not really like that but H is, and I do see the benefit in it. So our house is like that too

My mum's house isn't - you can just pop by anytime. No need to ' make an appointment' or really say in advanced. I always call though just to make sure she's home. I have siblings 15 years my junior so she has children herself at home still, plus my dad

My nan thinks it's uptight and wrong not to just let people round, welcome anytime

What's your take? Is your house an open house?

Despite not being like it myself, I know who's houses are the most homely feeling and welcoming - my family

OP posts:
DramaAlpaca · 03/09/2022 22:18

Yes, open house to family here.

godmum56 · 03/09/2022 22:20

people or family?

Original poster
notonur · 03/09/2022 22:23

godmum56 · 03/09/2022 22:20

people or family?

Family/very very close friend

OP posts:

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Families
Boxofsockss · 03/09/2022 22:23

no, I don’t like people turning up at all. Im very house proud and would hate someone to turn up when things are in a mess (I have a baby so that happens a lot these days!) and if I don’t look presentable. I don’t need much notice though but definitely some!

PrettyIndigo · 03/09/2022 22:24

No, I don't like unannounced visitors no matter who they are, family or not

I am so busy, I really cherish my alone time to relax. The last thing I want during my days off is people turning up wanting to be waited on.

Kanaloa · 03/09/2022 22:24

Depends on the relationship. My kids can drop by my house anytime, even when they’re 30! I hope they’ve always got our front door key on their key ring and know the door is always open for them. Janice from work and my sil’s cousin can ask in advance and I’ll see if I can be bothered.

Original poster
notonur · 03/09/2022 22:26

Kanaloa · 03/09/2022 22:24

Depends on the relationship. My kids can drop by my house anytime, even when they’re 30! I hope they’ve always got our front door key on their key ring and know the door is always open for them. Janice from work and my sil’s cousin can ask in advance and I’ll see if I can be bothered.

Yea I think I'd be the same

My MIL isn't like that though. H would have to say he's coming

OP posts:
Undermearmour · 03/09/2022 22:26

I always ring ahead for my family. Last thing I would want is to walk in on my parents at it on the sofa.

I like people to ring ahead or text before they rock up. Usually to check that we're home. We used to live near PIL and they had a bad habit of turning up unannounced at our house on a Saturday night back when we were in our 20s and didn't have kids. MIL would always ring DH complaining that we didn't answer the door because we had gone out for the night!

Frlrlrubert · 03/09/2022 22:28

I'm not a fan of unexpected guests. What if I'm in the bath of at the shop, or in the middle of dinner? - it's not like we live 'popping' distance of anyone who visits us anyway.

I'm in the middle, a text saying 'I'll come by this afternoon' is fine, I don't want an exact time, and I'm happy for people to walk in without knocking and waiting when they do show up. But totally unexpected is a no from me.

Winterfellismyhome · 03/09/2022 22:28

I dont like anyone turning up unannounced, friends or family. I like to feel prepared for visitors

MarmiteCoriander · 03/09/2022 22:28

We have recently moved closer to both MIL and FIL and their partners. Not in the same town, but 20mins away. I want notice!

I would never visit them without checking beforehand and would find it rude for them to just call in anytime. I've have had this before where they have turned up at 8am on a Sunday- because they had an early appointment or went shopping early nearby! MIL has woken me with her booming voice after I was on night shift. She had no concept of why I was asleep at 9am in the morning and thought I should be getting up now. I did a double shift and hadn't slept for nearly 20hrs !!! 🙄

Another time we have been out and then got a call and asked where we were and why we weren't at home!!! MIL had brought a 'friend' around to see our house renovations!!! WTF??? No prior warning or said visit!

Kanaloa · 03/09/2022 22:28

notonur · 03/09/2022 22:26

Yea I think I'd be the same

My MIL isn't like that though. H would have to say he's coming

Show quote history

I wouldn’t like that. All depends on the relationship I suppose but I can see why your nan would mention it - I would think most kids can drop by their parents’ house anytime but some parents have different relationships. I know I can go to mil house anytime! Maybe she is often out though so prefers to have notice so she can be in when someone is coming.

NoMoreChubRub · 03/09/2022 22:30

Depends who it is tbh. My mum, sister brother and dad all live within 5.mins away. They can pop in. But only sister generally does.

Anyone else its normally a quick txt saying in the area tomorrow eve are you in? Generally its fine.

For us visiting

We go to ils as and when we feel like it too but not sil but we rarely go there for various reasons.
Friends i tend to say, what day are you free to meet or in etc and then arrange.

Uptowntwirl · 03/09/2022 22:30

I always turn up at my mum's unannounced if passing. Now I'm scared she secretly resents me for it 😂

BigFatLiar · 03/09/2022 22:34

Don't mind close family dropping by.

I was surprised when I first went to visit OHs family. We went to visit his brother and SiL, just opened the door walked in and called out 'mad axeman come to get you' walked to the kitchen and put the kettle on. They are pretty easy going with each other.

JustLyra · 03/09/2022 22:34

We have an open house. DH’s family are all like that. My grandparents (who I lived with) were similar.

I love it. DH’s family are a very respectful bunch though. They don’t take the piss and they’re good at not overstaying their welcome.

Our youngest was in hospital recently and three of them left food on the doorstep and knocked - the other kids and the one of us at home ate like Kings!. The closeness and the freedom to pop in comes into its own when times are tough.

mountainsunsets · 03/09/2022 22:35

I mean, they can but during the week we'd both be out at work, and at weekends we have the dog to walk and other hobbies we like to do so they'd probably be wasting their time lol.

People pre-arrange as it just makes more sense to do so, but I'd not turn anyone away if they did come over out of the blue.

My in-laws have an open house policy and anyone can just walk in without even knocking, but my parents have the door locked and you'd probably be better off checking first as again, they're often out.

Creepymanonagoatfarm · 03/09/2022 22:35

Dc are free to come and go here.. No other family..

Suzi888 · 03/09/2022 22:37

No. Unless it’s an emergency- just give me half hour/hour. Plus I could be out or working.

YellowPlumbob · 03/09/2022 22:38

I can count on one hand the people that I don’t mind dropping in; they get that I’m ND, a single parent to 3, and work full time, so don’t give a shit if I’m in my pyjamas at 2pm on a Sunday/chaos everywhere.

Everyone else can get to fuck and prebook with me because they can’t keep their judgemental mouths shut and I refuse to listen to it any more.

MrsTimRiggins · 03/09/2022 22:39

Yea, absolutely. Family, friends, whoever. We aren’t that likely to be in the actual house, but they soon start wandering the yard and fields and they find us in the end 😂

ofwarren · 03/09/2022 22:39

I wouldn't answer the door to anyone, family or not, if they came round uninvited.

Hbh17 · 03/09/2022 22:41

Nobody should be "dropping in" - should always be arranged. And for most family members it would be a definite 'no'! Similarly, I wouldn't dream of going to someone else's house without arranging first - it's just good manners.

Rapidtango · 03/09/2022 22:43

Family always welcome, although they often call first to make sure we're home. I'd give anything for my Dad to knock at the door and come in for an unannounced cuppa, but that will never again.

Rapidtango · 03/09/2022 22:44

Happen again