Jamie Oliver you lying twat

[TheSpottedZebra]

One pan meals. A lamb thing.

It's cooked on a tray, in the oven. He's also used a pestle and mortar.
Then he twonked the lamb joint on the oven shelf so that all the fat dripped through, on to the tray below.

Then he splatted all that on to a wooden board, and used another pot for the juices.

Ladies and gentlemen more ladies, I present to you, The Man Who Doesn't Wash Up.

I still haven't recovered from making the 'Comforting Sausage Bake' from the 5 ingredients book (or whatever it was called). It was minging. Soggy, flavourless beany tomatoey bread, with a few sausages in. I dismantled it, made the beans and tomatoes into soup and shoved the sausages in sandwiches.

🤣 who wants to clean their oven after one meal?

The point about Rick Stein being watchable is the scenery and at least the food has some cultural significance, it just makes it more interesting IMO than Jamie's vegetable garden and the one I watched in his last series, his 'neighbours' and 'friends' apparently invited over - talk about awkward, like the homes and land are so expansive that they looked like it was the first time they had met each other! But Rick Stein, Jamie, Nigella, whoever, pretty dull. The worst food programme is the one on radio 4 that is a question time style food programme, ' I have an abundance of raspberries what conserve is best to make?' (And turn off) And the dreaded food podcasts hosted by comedian's that I have to endure on long journeys with DH!

So, I was fairly ambivalent about Jamie Oliver until I watched his Masterchef Australia episode in one of the early seasons - S4, I think. That was the point where I stopped thinking of him as a kitchen wanker with delusions of grandeur and actually saw him 'cheffing'. Fair play to him, he can actually cook like a professional, he's not just a face for the camera.

Also, IKEA does a really big tray which comes with a roasting rack to balance on top. It's very good.

Also also, his restaurant in Brighton was one of the worst places I've ever eaten. Not only am I not surprised it closed down, I am still aggrieved that I actually paid for the meal we were eventually served.

Genius!

I'm certain they would call it a 'glut' of raspberries. When you are describing an abundance of anything fruit or veg related you must call it a glut, as though you're Hugh Fearnley-Wittingstall prancing around River Cottage in a pair of green wellies and a flat cap, clutching a glass of home made sloe gin.

'Apparently Jeffrey is a really famous political economist'

That's why they can afford the good vanilla

Whenever I watch Ina's show I wonder how much those charming floral displays would cost. 28 peony roses at a modest $32 a stem from your chic Hampton's florist. Bargainous.

I wonder how much of our disdain is down to chef vs cook? Chefs basically assume they are the eddie big bollocks, so they don't think about the washing up, or cleaning the oven, or having a pinch of this or that. Cooks understand that you have to be slightly more practical, and life's too short to stuff a mushroom.

www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2017/may/26/how-to-cook-delia-smith-the-delia-project-stephen-bush This actually sums it up quite well - are you teaching people to cook precisely to a recipe, or giving them the skills to know how to actually cook in everyday life?

Although I do think cooking is trial and error and watching a TV show is not going to teach you how to cook, it is certainly good publicity for the chef.

I learned to cook from 'Ready, Steady, Cook', the old ones.

I could follow a recipe and put a meal together but actually looking at what I had got in the fridge / cupboard and making a meal or trying things out.

Now Keith Floyd - I seem to remember he got so drunk once the producer had to do the cooking.

Does anyone remember a series of short, late night cookery programmes that (I always assumed) were designed for drunk people to watch as they ate their greasy kebab?

I swear I haven't made them up but no-one ever seems to remember them (or maybe they were drunker than I was).

I love all cookery shows. Except Keith Floyd .Couldn't get on with him. But particular favourites were the Two Fat Ladies and their occasional uncompromising attitudes to ingredients, for example:

You MUST use lard to make bubble and squeak. If you are a vegetarian or have a dislike of lard, make something else.

(Or words to that effect).

Jamie Oliver's Christmassy kitchen set always disturbed me though- I just don't think having loads of paper snowflakes dangling above your head when you're dealing with hot stoves/pans etc is a good idea.

Yes! They were called 'Get Stuffed ' and I loved them, I'd watch the programme after the pub.

getstuffed.info/dir/?page_id=374

I like the Jamie and Jimmy one, on Southend Pier, where the celebs come and do the cooking. Jimmy does the equivalent of the TV chef thing with DIY... 'why don't you knock up a full set of patio furniture and a pizza oven with some offcuts of wood that you've probably got lying around, using all of these professional looking tools that I expect you have in your massive toolshed'. Keeps us entertained.

I loved Get Stuffed we had so much fun spotting the local landmarks too.

Yes - if you're going to have a sweetened drink, it would be better to have sugar than a pharmacist's cupboard of E numbers.

DP and I say really insightful things to each other like, 'they're fucking loaded, aren't they?'

OMG! The crazy kids have Happy Shopper cooking oil and Sunblest bread. Brilliant

You have not made it up - but it was Graham Kerr- he was an Aussie.

He had a catch phrase, I think, but I'm buggered if I can remember it.

He didn't give Conker the dog even a tiny bit of lamb.

In fairness, friends who have dogs won’t ever feed them while they are cooking or at the dinner table - the dogs start begging and become a nuisance.

I remember Nigella getting a load of shit because her show was being made from a massive house in west London where a kitchen had been put in on every floor (rather than her own house).

I LOVED Ready, Steady, Cook!

My favourite chef was Brian Turner - and I also liked Tony Stoppani on Border TV.

His sweet and sour chicken recipe was fab!

BASTARD!

Is it just me or does Graham Kerr look a bit like Brian Connolly? I've just googled Mr Kerr and he's (a) alive, and (b) still very twinkly-eyed, bless him.

I wonder if there are any old tapes knocking around.

He was another one who enjoyed a drop of plonk, @SpinCityBlues

The galloping gourmet was fantastic! He was pretty crackers in a fab way, but i really seem to remember him drinking a fair bit while he cooked!
Glad hes still around..