Dh reacts so weirdly to gifts - I find it quite hurtful.

[Wisteriabloom]

A few examples -

We have a mutual friend, Rob, (not his real name)! He's a talented artist, his work is fairly well-known locally. For dh's recent birthday I showed Rob a photo of the holiday home in Cornwall dh's family own. They've owned it since dh's childhood, and it holds special memories. I asked if Rob could paint it, for the normal price he'd charge a customer. He did! It's beautiful, so I got it framed and gave it to dh for his birthday present. When he opened it he just laughed, and said 'Oh is this one of Rob's?', and put it to one side. 🤔 He has at least put it on the wall, without me asking, so that's something but I was miffed at his total non-reaction.

Similar to a framed print (I don't always give pictures, these are the only times I've given them as presents, but I won't again)!! This print was tg

“It's one reason why I hate getting gifts. The pleasure has gone out of it as it now seems to be all about making the giver feel appreciated, rather actually being something that was a nice thing for the recipient (and one person on this thread has suggested getting a gift you want is "mercenary").”

Yes the mercenary comment made my jaw drop. Someone gives you something to pander to their own ego and it would be ‘mercenary’ not to be grateful for that gift however thoughtless or hurtful it was (see the post-Christmas threads if you don’t believe gifts can insulting or hurtful). That’s a warped narcissism to think it ‘mercenary’ that a recipient would expect a gift to be something they might actually like!