Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

What do I do about accomodation for this trip?

129 replies

PowerPack · 20/08/2022 21:58

Six of us going. One couple, 2 single men, one married man (wife not going) and me. 3 nights in a European capital.

An apartment with 3 twin rooms has been identified as suitable. I shall have to ask but as yet, I don't know who I'm expected to share with.

I know the couple well, the others are friends, but not that close. I've never been away with them before.

Obviously if I ask for my own room, the cost goes up for everyone (or I cover the increase?)

Or I just go for it and share with one of the men? I think I could live with that for a few days, I'd be perfectly safe with any of them, but the reality might be a bit uncomfortable. If I could choose, there's one of the men I'd feel more comfortable with, but he's probably also the one with a bit of a rep as a ladies man (although never made a move on me). Quite difficult for me to come out and say who I'd prefer though! Definitely not the married man.

WWYD?

FWIW I said yes before I knew who was going on the trip, I thought there would be more people and more women, but I'm looking forward to it and the people are a good fun crowd, it's just the sleeping arrangements!

OP posts:
Rogue1001MNer · 20/08/2022 22:10

I think I'd suggest you share a room with the woman in the couple and her partner bunks with one of the other blokes.

I wouldn't suggest a woman shares a bedroom with a man unless they were really close friends

MuffinMcLayLikeABundleOfHay · 20/08/2022 22:12

Rogue1001MNer · 20/08/2022 22:10

I think I'd suggest you share a room with the woman in the couple and her partner bunks with one of the other blokes.

I wouldn't suggest a woman shares a bedroom with a man unless they were really close friends

So would I.

Original poster
PowerPack · 20/08/2022 22:13

Rogue1001MNer · 20/08/2022 22:10

I think I'd suggest you share a room with the woman in the couple and her partner bunks with one of the other blokes.

I wouldn't suggest a woman shares a bedroom with a man unless they were really close friends

That's not going to happen. She would consider it wasn't fair on her DH and i suspect he would object too. I'm certainly not going to ask them to do that.

OP posts:
Nadal · 20/08/2022 22:13

Yeah. Do you think she would share?

TokyoTen · 20/08/2022 22:15

You need either a 4 bed apartment, or one with 3 beds and a sofa bed in the living room. No way would I consider sharing a room with anyone else and I'm sure the married guy's wife wouldn't be too happy either!.

YellowDots · 20/08/2022 22:16

Who has identified it as suitable? Seems to me it isn't suitable.

Playplayaway · 20/08/2022 22:16

Is there a lounge with a large sofa or a sofa bed that could double up as a fourth sleeping area?

Original poster
PowerPack · 20/08/2022 22:18

YellowDots · 20/08/2022 22:16

Who has identified it as suitable? Seems to me it isn't suitable.

We've spent a lot of weeks trying to find something suitable and the trip is getting near (flights booked months ago) with nothing arranged so its starting to be a question of taking what's available. Also budget more important to some than others.

OP posts:
MuffinMcLayLikeABundleOfHay · 20/08/2022 22:20

I'm sure the married guy's wife wouldn't be too happy either!.

With what? The op says she knows her well. I wouldn't want one of my friends sharing a room with a man just so I could share with my dh.

GrandSlamFinalee · 20/08/2022 22:23

It’s a European capital so I’m assuming there will be a range of hotels and airbnbs available. Book a 3-4 bedroom flat with enough beds for everyone without you having to share. Or everyone books single / double rooms at a cheap hotel or hostal.

titchy · 20/08/2022 22:23

I'd they're definitely all twin rooms then one of the single beds can be moved into a other room so the three guys are together.

I can't believe anyone would think it was reasonable that you share with a bloke you don't know intimately. Why should you compromise your privacy and dignity so the couple can shag share?

Alternatively you sleep in the living room assuming that isn't being used as one of the bedrooms.

Iloveacurry · 20/08/2022 22:24

The married couple need to sleep separately for a few nights, and you share with the wife.

Penguinfeather781 · 20/08/2022 22:24

I can’t believe none of them have thought to talk to you about this/identified it as an issue. No way would I be sharing a room with a man who I wasn’t in a relationship with.

That said I’d also expect to pay more for having my own room.

KeyErro · 20/08/2022 22:27

Book a hotel on your own, absolutely no way I'd share a room with some man I barely knew.

MiddleClassProblem · 20/08/2022 22:29

I think the soon you let them know how you feel the better. It mig hurt be that there is a sofa bed so you end up with your own room or something but unless you flag it then you won’t come to a solution or find out if there is one already.

SirChenjins · 20/08/2022 22:29

It’s not suitable - you would have to share someone you don’t want to share with. I certainly wouldn’t share with a man so it would need to be a 4 bed apartment or a sofa bed for me. If I was one of the married couples I’d say no to sharing a room with you too.

MarmiteCoriander · 20/08/2022 22:33

Are the single men happy to share? I would have found a 4-5 bed place! Where are they expecting YOU to sleep? Surely the organiser has told you THEIR opinion on this?

Given the info- I wouldn't go! It sounds like a mix matched group, with different objectives and ideas.

MarmiteCoriander · 20/08/2022 22:41

Is this recreational holiday with 'friends' or a work event??? I can't work it out but sounds such extremely odd arrangement.

I wouldn't feel comfortable in the evenings sitting around bra less, in PJ's with friends- let along random men I barely know! Why would anyone think its suitable, NOT to have your own room???

Original poster
PowerPack · 20/08/2022 22:46

MarmiteCoriander · 20/08/2022 22:41

Is this recreational holiday with 'friends' or a work event??? I can't work it out but sounds such extremely odd arrangement.

I wouldn't feel comfortable in the evenings sitting around bra less, in PJ's with friends- let along random men I barely know! Why would anyone think its suitable, NOT to have your own room???

It's very social. We're going to the city to do some things connected to a mutual interest. We won't be spending time sitting around the apartment. Literally just sleeping, falling into bed tired from the day and getting up and out early.

I'm definitely going, I wouldn't miss it for the world. It was an open invitation to a wider group of people initially, but the dates and cost meant this is the group we have.

Married couple don't "have" to do anything.

OP posts:
satur · 20/08/2022 22:47

No way would I be sharing with any of the blokes. I'd expect the female of the couple to share with me! That's what I'd do if I was the one in the couple.

Have had similar scenario recently. One married couple, me (married but DH not present) and a single man. Two bedrooms.
I shared with the other woman! No way on earth would I have shared with the single guy even though I've known him since I was 17. Too weird and awkward!

NancyJoan · 20/08/2022 22:49

Can you afford to book into a hotel on your own? And message ‘Place looks great! I think I’m going to book into XX hotel; I like having my own room so I can put the light on in the middle of the night and finding a four bed place is too hard. We’ll still see each other all day, I’ll just head off after dinner’

Kite22 · 20/08/2022 23:32

Another who would (if I were the married couple) offer that the 2 women shared and the 4 blokes shared the other 2 rooms.

Don't sound like good friends if this isn't what they would do for everyone to be comfortable.
I mean, depending on the layout / size of rooms, the alternative is to move the one bed out of one of the rooms leaving you a single room and one of the men either squeezes in with the other two or sleeps in the living room (or you sleep in living room).

arethereanyleftatall · 20/08/2022 23:37

The married couple might not 'have' to do anything, but the kind thing to do is that they split and you share with the woman. It is absolutely what I would offer in that situation.

Ragwort · 20/08/2022 23:41

Surely the married couple will just sleep separately - they can't be good friends if they can't see how awkward it would be for you to share with one of the men (and awkward for the man).

TokyoSushi · 20/08/2022 23:45

Definitely don't share with one of the men.

A) Share with the other woman
B) One person sleeps in the living room (ideally the third man - maybe he pays less?)
C) All 3 men share by moving one bed (again maybe they pay less)
D) Find a bigger place