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Original poster

What do I do about accomodation for this trip?

129 replies

PowerPack · 20/08/2022 21:58

Six of us going. One couple, 2 single men, one married man (wife not going) and me. 3 nights in a European capital.

An apartment with 3 twin rooms has been identified as suitable. I shall have to ask but as yet, I don't know who I'm expected to share with.

I know the couple well, the others are friends, but not that close. I've never been away with them before.

Obviously if I ask for my own room, the cost goes up for everyone (or I cover the increase?)

Or I just go for it and share with one of the men? I think I could live with that for a few days, I'd be perfectly safe with any of them, but the reality might be a bit uncomfortable. If I could choose, there's one of the men I'd feel more comfortable with, but he's probably also the one with a bit of a rep as a ladies man (although never made a move on me). Quite difficult for me to come out and say who I'd prefer though! Definitely not the married man.

WWYD?

FWIW I said yes before I knew who was going on the trip, I thought there would be more people and more women, but I'm looking forward to it and the people are a good fun crowd, it's just the sleeping arrangements!

OP posts:
00100001 · 21/08/2022 08:31

Just tell them it won't work if the married couple won't be apart.

And just book a bed in a hostel or something, if it really is just a bed for the night. And then the 3 men can argue over who gets their own room... In their "deemed suitable" accomodation.

factfile · 21/08/2022 08:36

Why TF have none of the others mentioned or considered your needs in this situation? Absolutely bizarre. Agree with PP you're trying to be cool when the situation is not cool. Why have you not had a say in the accommodation search either?

You need your own room if the couple won't be parted (🙄) - unless for some reason you feel perfectly happy sharing with one of the men.

hopeishere · 21/08/2022 08:43

Trying to find group accommodation is the issue. If each "unit" sorts their own there might be more options.

SirChenjins · 21/08/2022 08:44

If you’re ok about it OP why are you even posting? Confused

1990s · 21/08/2022 08:45

tanstaafl · 21/08/2022 08:25

You’re trying to be the cool girl OP.

as PP said, this is a suitable arrangement for the other 5. Not you.

now you’re worried about coming across as a nuisance by pointing out how this impacts you.

suggest you skip this trip, find accommodation that suits you all or go, but stay separately.

At the risk of sounding like a “cool girl” 🙄 I would share with a man I knew relatively well to go to something I really wanted to go to like it sounds this situation is.

On another note I’d also share with close male friends in this situation who are married and would have no issue with my DH doing the same.

In this situation as it’s not booked yet I’d just say “can we have a quick chat about who’s sleeping where” and make sure you’re comfortable with the outcome before it’s booked. Sounds like you’d be fine with wherever outcome as long as you know the score.

GlueyMooey · 21/08/2022 08:47

It wouldn't bother me. I'd ask who is the least likely to snore and chose them.

Maybe wait until you get there and see if there is a room with the beds are further apart

00100001 · 21/08/2022 08:48

Ragwort · 21/08/2022 08:26

Why isn't it 'fair' to split up a married couple ? Is it less 'fair' than expecting a single male to share with a single female when they are not in a relationship ? Confused

Because they have an unhealthy relationship

cexuwaleozbu · 21/08/2022 08:53

I would reply to the group something like
"I am not certain this is suitable unless we think we can move a bed between rooms to make a triple and a single? Risky as the rooms may not be big enough. I am not ok with sharing a bedroom with a bloke, lovely though you all are."

You can't expect people to be telepathic. You have to communicate your feelings.

helpfulperson · 21/08/2022 08:58

If I'm happy to go on holiday with someone I'd be happy to share a room with them if needed.

BigFatLiar · 21/08/2022 09:00

It sounds as of this has only just been dropped on them as the solution. We don't know if the men are happy sharing with a female, not all would be.

IbizaToTheNorfolkBroads · 21/08/2022 09:02

2 women share
4 men share the 2 other rooms

With only 1 other woman, you have to split the couple up.

DillyDilly · 21/08/2022 09:08

The most logical thing is for you to share with the other woman and that is what I’d suggest if I were you. If that can’t/won’t happen, then you will need to share with one of the single men - obviously you won’t be sharing with the married man. Will one of the single men be prepared to share with you ?

If there’s a chat group for this trip, I think you need to message and ask what are the proposed sleeping arrangements - say your preference is to share with the woman and if that won’t work, are either single man one or single man 2 prepared to share with you.

GoldenAutumnLeaves · 21/08/2022 09:12

Since you are definitely going, and can’t ask the married couple to split for the duration, suck it up.. can’t see the point of your post really. You are going regardless, you can’t book more rooms due to budget.
Have fun

NancyJoan · 21/08/2022 09:13

I'm surprised everyone is so dead against. I can see it's not perfect but it's for a few days. After a series of awful events in my life, I'm currently taking a live life while you can, what's the worst that can happen attitude and for three days I think this would be OK. The trip is an opportunity not to be missed and what's the worst that can happen?!

You started the thread suggesting looking for an alternative flat with a room just for you, and described feeling uncomfortable about sharing with a man. Posters have responded to that and suggested solutions to avoid you having to share. If you don’t really mind for a few days, have fun!

EscapeRoomToTheSun · 21/08/2022 09:16

I wouldn't mind sharing with a man for a few days if I knew him. Certainly I would do that over asking the couple to split up 😂

Romeiswheretheheartis · 21/08/2022 09:28

If the married couple are your 'good friends' I really would speak to the female about it and ask if she'd share with you - regardless of what you think they'd want, she might surprise you. I can't believe a good friend wouldn't see that this is the most appropriate solution. Surely they can cope with being in separate rooms for 3 nights 🤔

HEPolicy · 21/08/2022 09:29

It's a room to sleep in, you say you'd be fine sharing with one of the men so I'd just do that. It's literally a space you'll be asleep for 8 hours!

NoSquirrels · 21/08/2022 09:33

If you’re fine with it then what’s the issue?

The married bloke needs to share with one of the guys, so be up front ASAP and say ‘We need to discuss who’s sleeping where.’

00100001 · 21/08/2022 09:35

Romeiswheretheheartis · 21/08/2022 09:28

If the married couple are your 'good friends' I really would speak to the female about it and ask if she'd share with you - regardless of what you think they'd want, she might surprise you. I can't believe a good friend wouldn't see that this is the most appropriate solution. Surely they can cope with being in separate rooms for 3 nights 🤔

I dunno... Like I said before, i know a couple that just can't be apart when out together. They had to be holding hands all then time, even when the way was crowded, then kid if side walked to keep holding hands, despite single file being easiest. We were sat somewhere where there was only one space in each row, in front of each other, they wouldn't sit separately, so shared a seat...
When we were having a drink, they insisted on going to bar together, holding hands and drinks on the way back, where naturally they squeezed in next to each other.

It's utterly bizarre Confused

gunnersgold · 21/08/2022 09:35

Id be booking my own room and pay the extra . I shared a room once with someone I wasn't married to and it was horrid . What if the man snores loudly all night 🙈and then there is the toileting / dressing issue ! Just no!

Happymum12345 · 21/08/2022 09:37

Find your own hotel room or sleep on the sofa.

I wouldn’t ask the couple to sleep apart.

StampOnTheGround · 21/08/2022 09:43

I've seen this situation loads in real life, the couple have always split up so the 2 women would share and then the men would share - it's the only thing that makes any sense.

Maireas · 21/08/2022 09:44

Why have your friends chosen accommodation which means that you have to share with a man?
Were you consulted?
There will always be somewhere else to stay. Either book a bigger place or stay somewhere on your own.

Original poster
PowerPack · 21/08/2022 13:55

00100001 · 21/08/2022 08:31

Just tell them it won't work if the married couple won't be apart.

And just book a bed in a hostel or something, if it really is just a bed for the night. And then the 3 men can argue over who gets their own room... In their "deemed suitable" accomodation.

How is a bed in a hostel sharing a room with complete strangers better?

OP posts:
MuffinMcLayLikeABundleOfHay · 21/08/2022 14:00

What do you want then? If you think it's fine then it's fine.

It's not something I would want to do but that's not relevant. If you are OK sleeping in a bedroom with a male acquaintance then there isn't a issue here.