Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

What do I do about accomodation for this trip?

129 replies

PowerPack · 20/08/2022 21:58

Six of us going. One couple, 2 single men, one married man (wife not going) and me. 3 nights in a European capital.

An apartment with 3 twin rooms has been identified as suitable. I shall have to ask but as yet, I don't know who I'm expected to share with.

I know the couple well, the others are friends, but not that close. I've never been away with them before.

Obviously if I ask for my own room, the cost goes up for everyone (or I cover the increase?)

Or I just go for it and share with one of the men? I think I could live with that for a few days, I'd be perfectly safe with any of them, but the reality might be a bit uncomfortable. If I could choose, there's one of the men I'd feel more comfortable with, but he's probably also the one with a bit of a rep as a ladies man (although never made a move on me). Quite difficult for me to come out and say who I'd prefer though! Definitely not the married man.

WWYD?

FWIW I said yes before I knew who was going on the trip, I thought there would be more people and more women, but I'm looking forward to it and the people are a good fun crowd, it's just the sleeping arrangements!

OP posts:
milkysmum · 20/08/2022 23:55

I'm obviously in the minority, but if I was friends with the people I was going away with it wouldn't be an issue sharing a room with one of the single men. Only you know if you are comfortable with this though, lots of people on this thread obviously would not be, which of course is fine, and if you are in anyway uncomfortable you need to speak up now so the group knows and alternative accommodation can be sought.

MarmiteCoriander · 21/08/2022 00:21

milkysmum · 20/08/2022 23:55

I'm obviously in the minority, but if I was friends with the people I was going away with it wouldn't be an issue sharing a room with one of the single men. Only you know if you are comfortable with this though, lots of people on this thread obviously would not be, which of course is fine, and if you are in anyway uncomfortable you need to speak up now so the group knows and alternative accommodation can be sought.

I thought the OP said she only knows the married couple well and the others are not close friends. They all share a similar interest/hobby or something, hence the trip. I get the impression though, that she barely knows the males going. Not well enough to share a bedroom!

SwedishEdith · 21/08/2022 00:31

I want to know what the hobby is now.

lastminutedotcom22 · 21/08/2022 00:46

@PowerPack
You say this has been identified as suitable??
By who ???
Are you on a
Business trip or a holiday

BarbaraofSeville · 21/08/2022 03:22

I don't understand why your first thought is to decide which of the men you will share with when sharing with the woman, moving a bed or you or one of the men sleeping in the lounge would be preferable?

ilovesooty · 21/08/2022 03:26

If you can't share with one of the women I'd book a hotel on my own.

agedasiago · 21/08/2022 03:58

I guess it depends what has been identified as suitable means? Someone's picked it out and said "this looks OK, what does everyone think?" Or it's already booked? I don't think it's reasonable for anyone to assume you'd be happy to share with one of the guys (or they with you, although that's better odds since there's three of them), but I can also see how someone frustrated from not finding anything and worried it's getting late might just think OK, six people six beds, better get it.

I'd just ask what the plan is and give your input if there's something your comfortable with, before someone else decides. Also if this IS the only option and it's a compromise because it's last minute and availability is low, I wouldn't assume you and one of the single guys should be the ones to compromise. Why NOT the couple, if it's separate beds, just for a couple of nights, and just falling into bed exhausted? 2 women, 2 men, 2 men is the most logical default split.

Original poster
PowerPack · 21/08/2022 07:55

Nothing's booked yet, but the events we're going for mean the city is very busy. It is a capital city, but it's a tiny one and there's surprisingly little accomodation available. Hotels are outrageously expensive for that weekend.

I'm surprised everyone is so dead against. I can see it's not perfect but it's for a few days. After a series of awful events in my life, I'm currently taking a live life while you can, what's the worst that can happen attitude and for three days I think this would be OK. The trip is an opportunity not to be missed and what's the worst that can happen?!

I'm not close to any of the men, but I have known them and done group things for them for along time, we just haven't become close friends. They're good people.

I have shared rooms with lots of people I don't know particularly well, if you're single you often don't have a choice, even single supplement is not always available, but they're usually women.

OP posts:
Original poster
PowerPack · 21/08/2022 07:56

Done group things with them not for them!

OP posts:
BarrelOfOtters · 21/08/2022 08:00

I’d share in those circumstances with someone I knew but not that well. If you all happy with it.

Rainbowqueeen · 21/08/2022 08:04

Can you move a mattress into the living area in the evening and either you or one of the men sleep in there??

Although I don’t understand why anyone would object to @Rogue1001MNer s idea. To me, that is the most sensible suggestion

BigFatLiar · 21/08/2022 08:07

TokyoSushi · 20/08/2022 23:45

Definitely don't share with one of the men.

A) Share with the other woman
B) One person sleeps in the living room (ideally the third man - maybe he pays less?)
C) All 3 men share by moving one bed (again maybe they pay less)
D) Find a bigger place

I'd go with B or D. As accommodation is an issue its probably going to be B someone sleeps on the sofa. I would suggest you offer to sleep on the sofa and get changed in one of the rooms. One of the men may offer to be on the sofa but to simply expect that one does so you get the bedroom is a bit sexist.

Depending on how old you all are the men may not be too keen on sharing either, its not so common among men to share a room as among women.

Original poster
PowerPack · 21/08/2022 08:12

Oh there isn't a living area, just a small kitchen. It's really designed as a base for sleeping in.

OP posts:
Hoardasurass · 21/08/2022 08:20

@PowerPack do any of the rooms have single beds or are you expected to share a bed aswell as a room?

Ragwort · 21/08/2022 08:22

Well from your update it sounds like you aren't that bothered about sharing with one of the men (how do they feel about it?) so why are you even posting about it? Confused

lot123 · 21/08/2022 08:22

I'm obviously in the minority, but if I was friends with the people I was going away with it wouldn't be an issue sharing a room with one of the single men.

Me neither. I have few male friends I lived with at Uni and I'd have no issue sharing with them as we're good friends. Obviously I'd get changed in the bathroom or when the bedroom was empty but sleeping in the same room isn't a big deal to me. Particularly if you're out most of the day and it's just somewhere to crash.

Original poster
PowerPack · 21/08/2022 08:23

Hoardasurass · 21/08/2022 08:20

@PowerPack do any of the rooms have single beds or are you expected to share a bed aswell as a room?

All 3 rooms are twin, all single beds

OP posts:
lot123 · 21/08/2022 08:24

I also wouldn't split up the couple as I don't think it's fair on them or start dragging beds into different rooms.

Original poster
PowerPack · 21/08/2022 08:25

You probably need to know the couple to understand just how much they won't be sleeping separately. They're, shall we say, eccentric? Lovely, very kind and generous in very many ways, but they're not going to be separated. No one would ask. He's only coming because she wants to go and they don't do things separately.

OP posts:
tanstaafl · 21/08/2022 08:25

You’re trying to be the cool girl OP.

as PP said, this is a suitable arrangement for the other 5. Not you.

now you’re worried about coming across as a nuisance by pointing out how this impacts you.

suggest you skip this trip, find accommodation that suits you all or go, but stay separately.

SpiderinaWingMirror · 21/08/2022 08:26

Are you doing the searching?
I would just go to a biggish hotel. Book a double, twin and 2 x single occupancy. Let the blokes decide how they are going to split the costs of the twin/single occupancy.
Job done.

Ragwort · 21/08/2022 08:26

Why isn't it 'fair' to split up a married couple ? Is it less 'fair' than expecting a single male to share with a single female when they are not in a relationship ? Confused

00100001 · 21/08/2022 08:29

PowerPack · 21/08/2022 08:25

You probably need to know the couple to understand just how much they won't be sleeping separately. They're, shall we say, eccentric? Lovely, very kind and generous in very many ways, but they're not going to be separated. No one would ask. He's only coming because she wants to go and they don't do things separately.

I know a couple like this, even to the point where, if they can't sit next to each other at a table, they will share a chair.

It's bizarre.

midgetastic · 21/08/2022 08:29

I'd be happy to share a twin with a bloke - when I have been in almost this situation in the past it was very much my shout who the other person was

I say almost - never come across a couple so selfish that they would not split for a few nights

SuperCamp · 21/08/2022 08:31

If you feel ok about it, share with one of the men.. you know them, we don’t.

Swipe left for the next trending thread