What makes a women look frumpy

[Wherecanitbe]

I am considering an overhaul of what I wear and my hairstyle. I am feeling a bit down and frumpy at the moment so thought this would be a positive change.

My overhaul is not going to be a drastic change , I cannot afford to purchase a whole new wardrobe of clothes,shoes and accessories. So please could you give me your items of clothing and / or hairstyles that in your opinion makes a women look frumpy.

This post is not meant to be offensive in anyway, I believe a person should wear whatever they wish regardless of whether another person thinks it's frumpy.

So grey hair’s fine and can be stunning. Next to be shot down?

It's the enigmatic smile and confidence oozing out of her every pore!

Jamie Lee Curtis = stunning.

There really IS grey and grey. There's mine - frizzy hair overdue for a cut and with 2 cm of grey roots showing and then there's people like Judi Dench, whose hair is so short and grey all over, but she looks just fab. Unfortunately if you have naturally coarse curly hair, slightly on the dry side, once you starts going grey you're stuck with leaving it or dying it and that just makes the condition even worse. Straight hair is far easier to manage as you get older and easier to "de-frump".

It's very easy to look frumpy when you have no interest in fashion and don't REALLY care what you look like. I should know. I do notice when other people look fabulous, though, and admire them for their style etc, but I just know that if I tried to copy their style I would look ridiculous, I'd get it slightly wrong. I know cos I've tried. I would buy something that would be the right colour or slightly the wrong cut, or material, or length.

I have to say, though, I'd much rather be friends with someone who was a bit frumpy but who was a really nice and interesting person, than someone who was really stylish and trendy but who I found shallow and had nothing to talk about except clothes and shoes.

Those people who are interesting and confident and kind and who are also very stylish are very lucky!

I think maybe it's the linen and trousers and top that were the issue.. very few people look good in that. Especially in pale beige-y colours.
I am a good 3 stone heavier than I should be, and post menopausal and looked fab in long dresses and trainers all summer.
Things that make a difference:
Cool footwear..if you have Paver style shoes/sandals you are going to look frumpy ( there are a few exceptions but not many). There are loads of flat, comfortable shoes that look good and are current, and like you care what you are wearing. Things like DMs, trainers, even flipflops and sandals. There has never been so much choice available for non-frumpy comfy shoes in a huge range of sizes and fittings. Make sure you have the right shoes for the outfit..so black court shoes with a light summer dress is probably not going to look good.
Lipstick...nude is fine if you are young, I find faded older people need fresher or brighter colours. Red is good.
Blusher... can be subtle but makes you look livelier
The right colours for you...not many people look good in any sort of beige, sand or other pale, dull colours. Obviously this depends on your colouring, but old lady colours, like sage green should be avoided. Navy, especially one that is not very dark, can look quite frumpy too, I think it needs a bit of extra work with accessories to sharpen it up.
The right shape and material..linen trousers sag around the bottom and really only work if you are lithe and willowy. Ankle length or capri length trousers can look terrible, especially you do not have the best ankles. Unfortunately, I think leggings with a tunic are bordering on frumpy these days. I'm sad to say this because that is a very comfortable combination, but it is not on trend. Leggings are a minefield, probably best worn for the gym, or an activity that looks like you might be about to go to the gym. They are nice under long dresses and worn with boots to keep warm, though, instead of tights.
I think there should be something interesting about an outfit, whether it is colour, pattern, texture or something else. If you make an effort , if you look like you have thought about what you are wearing, you probably won't look frumpy.

No such person exists.

They'd have to have a post baby apron, stumpy little legs and a long body, swollen joints, inflamed tendons, the muscles of a bodybuilder, comparatively tiny boobs but a big backside and thighs and have high cheekbones, a million freckles on the face and arms but white as lard everywhere else, hair that was once red-brown, green eyes and be only 5'4". Oh, and 49 without ever having had cosmetic surgery, botox, filler or any other alterations. Which would mean that they couldn't be a celebrity in the first place.

But you can’t pretend there isn’t a ‘generic’ beauty standard and that this is affected by age and size, to some extent.

I don’t see it that way really. I think there is definitely a generic standard of what is essentially ‘attractive’ and ‘sexually attractive’. I’m not saying that’s right, but that is how it is.
But beauty is hugely variable. Beauty can easily be found in any shape, age and size. My Grandmother is 92 and truly beautiful. Lots of older women are. Beauty is not generic at all to me. You can flip the age thing on its head and say obviously children or babies are often perceived as beautiful - but not attractive, that would be weird. Hence why parents putting filters on children’s photos or getting them to wear somewhat age in-appropriate outfits is, in my opinion, weird. Because that is playing in to ‘attractiveness’, not into appreciating their beauty.

Frumpy on one person can look fabulous on the next (regardless of their weight)... Without wanting to sound trite, it's all about your state of mind. If you feel/believe you look good, you DO look good. My advice would be to people watch and decide for yourself what looks good (maybe look for people that are your age/shape if you think that's important) and then copy accordingly.

Frumpy is such an emotive word.

I find it quite worrying how much dislike there is on MN have for women who carry weight. In real life I just don't see this. If a plus size friend looks amazing I would complement her in exactly the same way as an average friend who looks great, as do the people I'm with. Are we unusual?
I know some women on here seem to embrace not giving a shit how they look, and that is fine. Others may be a larger size, embrace natural hair and skin yet still set the room alight. It is personality and a love for life that shines, but, for some of you, if the woman is over a size 12(?) you just think 'yuck' or 'frump'! Where does this thinking come from? Your Mother?
Thankfully young people seem to be moving away from this- hence the adoration of Lizzo,

Cardigans.

Posture, poorly fitting clothes, bad style. You don't have to be trendy to avoid it

😂😂😂
I laughed before I saw it was your post, Sheldon!

Like every other colour of hair really,

agree it’s extra weight & posture imo. Badly fitting bra also! X

Fussy, frilly clothes are everywhere! Massive collars, big sleeves. Very trendy.

OP I am purely basing this on my own opinion of myself and how I look as I undoubtedly would cause offence to at least half of previous posters however unintentionally.

I currently look frumpy (to address all in the next week or start to)

My hair needs a cut, colour and restyle as at present its varying in colour, regrowth and just 'hangs'

I am two stone overweight and my clothes are ill fitting (either too big or small as I've lost 1 stone), don't hang correctly and I'm currently 'hiding: in bland jeans and dull Jumpers.

I need my nails reshaping and gel polish applying (spent summer playing in sand, mud and water)

Need to drink any amounts of water as my skin is dry and address my poor diet to clear it up.

I look my worst in poor fitting jeans or leggings and oversized Jumpers.

My posture is currently terrible as I have bad back, weak pelvis and can't Excercise as I would like.

I get endless compliments on my silver middle parted straight cut bob.

Hairdresser told me it is ‘the’ style at the moment. 2 customers in the hairdressers said they wish they had it.

So get to shite with your straight cut bob.

Nothing! Men become "silver foxes" 🤔

My 16 Dd wants to copy my hsirstyle.

Knowing your shape and what suits it is good. We seem to have gone backwards on that in recent years. That kind of goes with good fit. Same goes for hair cuts and glasses.

Avoid tired, washed up clothes (I fall for that one, they're not totally worn out but have seen better days)

Posture. Good posture and a bit of muscle tone (even if hidden away) will do anyone favours. Yesterday I followed an older lady down the road, and despite using a walking pole and having a typically older lady style of clothes and hair, she had good poise that lifted everything about her.

The trouble with grey hairs is that in the early stages they can be of unruly texture and length. Mine love poking out to say hello. I don't know what I'll do with mine yet, I'm not at that stage yet. Past a certain stage, block colours often look unnaturally heavy. I'm hoping I can get away with going natural because I'm lazy.

My feet have a very frumpy taste in comfort and shape. That's a hard one to dodge. I refuse to shred and contort my feet in the name of style. I like Birkenstocks as they're reasonably neat and better than bulky velcro sandals.

The dress to accentuate your good points not ovbiously hide the bad points is an excellent point.

The 'Because I'm worth it!' lady, Andie MacDowell let herself go grey and she looks like she's still worth it!

I have let my hair go grey. I look after it, I think it looks great!
I like to look stylish and love clothes, but I'm not going to be trussed up like a turkey or wear uncomfortable shoes.
Heaven forfend that women wear comfortable, practical clothes. Maybe caring for children and the elderly, shopping, cleaning, cooking, washing, running around, working demanding jobs and taking on the mental load calls for practical clothing.
Refresh your look, choose different colours, try different styles, but don't conform to any look that doesn't work for your lifestyle.

Cardigans from Net a Porter

Men can be frumpy. Stretching clothes around beer bellies, poor posture, worn out clothes, wearing ancient clothes from misspent youth but not because they're vintage, dressing gowns of doom, tracky bottoms of despair...

They have the advantage of fewer variety of body shapes and not hiding behind layers of flouncy frills, but there's still scope for male frumpiness.

To be fair, Casually Dressed Boris looks frumpy.