What makes a women look frumpy

[Wherecanitbe]

I am considering an overhaul of what I wear and my hairstyle. I am feeling a bit down and frumpy at the moment so thought this would be a positive change.

My overhaul is not going to be a drastic change , I cannot afford to purchase a whole new wardrobe of clothes,shoes and accessories. So please could you give me your items of clothing and / or hairstyles that in your opinion makes a women look frumpy.

This post is not meant to be offensive in anyway, I believe a person should wear whatever they wish regardless of whether another person thinks it's frumpy.

In YOUR opinion (which is, imho, utter fucking nonsense).

I look great in my cardigans especially the ecru ones

@Wouldloveanother Of course you can discuss stuff. Post a picture of an outfit, link to an item and it's entirely possible to discuss it without reducing oneself to 'ism's.

For me frumpy is outfits designed to hide 'flaws' and make the wearer invisible. Safe options. It's beige. It's those Per Una cardies with frills and fussy embroidery that district the eye but don't attract it to anything in particular. It's baggy trousers that amply cover your bum. It's a hair cut you chose because you can just pull it up on a pony tail every day. That might be why a lot of people have mentioned weight as us larger women are often conditioned to hide our 'problem areas'.
So for me unfrumpy would be the opposite. Don't chose a top because it disguises your tummy, chose it because the neckline makes your boobs look amazing, or the colour makes your eyes sparkle. Look at the physical stuff that makes you great and start to highlight that to the world a bit more. Maybe it'll be a great eyeliner or lipstick or a new hairstyle or a wow piece of jewellery, but just something that shows of the greatness of you.

I think anything that is comfortable is frumpy. Like Hotter Sandals. I don't care. They are comfortable, I can walk for hours in them.

I think a lot of dresses are frumpy. But ultimately frump is largely in the eye of the beholder!

I don't give a fuck what you think so off you pop.

Apologies for the negativity but you did ask so...

Being miserable all the time. Or looking it because you're stressed. Find something that makes you happy and smile, find time to relax. Sorry I know that sounds like men going cheer up love might never happen. I'm female so I know how annoying that is. I mean it in the sense of if I'm going to chat to a random someone I pick the open friendly relaxed happy looking one not the miserable as sin one.

Middle aged mum hair. You know what I mean. Shorter at the sides and back, longer on top, bit of product, no discernible style, cut that way because it's practical and no other reason. It says I can't be arsed. Totally different to having a short hairstyle. If you don't know what I mean go find the thread about the woman who wanted a pixie cut, to see the contrast, although that hairdresser went one step further down the disaster road and gave her men's hair.

Blunt cut bob haircut where that cut doesn't suit you and with no product in to stop the frizz. If you have curly or wavy hair then have it and care for it or straighten it. Just don't brush out your curls every morning as if they didn't exist leaving yourself with a frizzy mop, looks awful.

Ill fitting clothing. No styles make a person look frumpy if it's their style. But stuff that doesn't fit properly (stop worrying about the size label and just buy what actually fits) or has lost its shape due to its age needs to go. Your hairstyle needs to match with your clothes style not be at odds with it or the overall effect looks wrong somehow. Same with your makeup. So eg if you dressed authentically retro including hair and makeup it'd look fine, but if you kept the hair and makeup of your youth while dressing in more modern styles you'd somehow look old fashioned as a person and like you shouldn't be wearing those clothes.

I disagree that grey hair looks frumpy. I think having long hair with grey strands in it can look frumpy. A shorter cut and going completely grey looks better in my view. But that's my opinion and others may think differently.

Even in S&B, people will object to the ageist, size-ist shite.

I think if OP has learned one thing it's not to use the word frumpy.

It's a fair question otherwise.

I'm (very) overweight, in my 60s, I'm short as well. No bloody hope for me and I sometimes wear a cardigan. I think Miriam Margolyes is frumpy - and she doesn't care a fuck.

Wearing clothes that fit. Frumpy often is everything a size too small and looking slightly uncomfortable. Also, putting on clothes with a nod to style. It doesn’t matter what the style is (70’s disco, Kate Middleton, whatever) just the impression that you’ve taken 5 minutes getting dressed with something in mind other than the weather.

But there's grey and there's grey. My best friend has grey hair. it is uniformly silver grey and she has it cut into a lovely, shiny bob. It looks elegant and stylish. My natural hair is a mixture of dull grey and the remains of mousey brown. It drains every bit of colour out of my face. I look 10 years older. I have it professionally coloured a tasteful blonde. Friend's grey not at all frumpy. My grey absolutely, massively frumpy.

Erm...no.

What makes a woman look frumpy?
Dunno, but sadly I appear to have nailed it.
My home is the very stylish and appealing (according to my friends and family, anyway) but I just can't get as excited about clothes as I do soft furnishings and wall art. I really need to take myself in hand - my 78 year old mum looks way better in her vibrant scandi outfits, even though shes very overweight and uses a stick. I can't be arsed, and it shows .....maybe that's the answer!

I think it's all in how you move and how you relate to yourself, tbh. I don't think it's about external 'stuff' - fashion comes and goes (and is context and class dependent) and the body is always morphing into different shapes. I think we kind of know when looking at someone whether they're 'aliving' or 'deading'. The clothes an be absolutely nothing to do with it or the telltale sign. I'm thinking of droopy cardigans right now.

Well......sometimes I look at my husband and know the answer to that question..... 😉

Really?

@SoupDragon Gorgeous

But @MistyFuckingQuigley knows better.

Size has nothing to do with it, me and Thin Mate are both a size 8 but love our Mountain Warehouse practical jackets with pockets, hood, etc. Comfy walking shoes. Can't be doing with makeup, hair dye etc. We're frumpy and don't care.
Large mate (describes herself as "stout") is probably an 18? Wears amazing colour combinations, good quality clothes that fit really well, no cheap polyester, quirky accessories, has great posture and a good haircut. Not frumpy.

Judi Dench! Love her! Great call.

Also Isabella Rossellini - very stylish.

Good choices.

For all those knocking grey hair, Diane Keaton looks great! She wears her long grey hair with style and confidence.

Imo grey only looks good if it's very well kept and well styled and the woman is stylish, well dressed and attractive.

Gorgeous

Absolutely! The term frumpy was invented by men, along with doudy, neither of which are ever used to describe men.

OP, what clothes make you feel good, what styles do you feel comfortable in and give you an inner glow when you look at yourself in the mirror or see yourself on the reflection of a window when you walk down the street?

Focus on how you feel not on the judgements others have towards you.

Me

A good tip I think I got from Mumsnet is to find a celebrity who is a similar shape & size to you with similar colouring. Look at images of them - what looks good and what doesn't, then think about why.

The posters above who mention weight, posture and a good haircut are on the money, but colour and shape are important too.