Woman just had a go at me for my child

[didsomebodaysayyyjusteat]

I've got a 1 year old DD. She's short so when holding her hand she really reaches up. She's steady on her feet and has been walking for months. Also with the weather being hot her little hands get a bit clammy so if she bolted her hands can easily slip from my grip.

Was browsing in boots this morning and noticed a woman making comments under her breath.

Got round to a different aisle and she muttered something under her breath again. It was only us and her In the aisle so I said 'are you talking to me? I can't quite hear you'

She snapped 'why have you put your poor child on a dog lead, is your child a dog?!'

I didn't know what to say, no one's ever said a bad thing about reins to me and I've never thought they were an issue! Didn't say anything then but was pissed off.

Then we met again on the toothpaste aisle. Final interaction. She was browsing the section of toothpaste / mouthwash and I just mentioned to her she ought to probably pick something up as her breath was humming & my 'dog' didn't want to be around an offensive stench.

I've never heard of Reins being a bad thing??? Why would they be classed as a bad thing? Do people tend to have different views on reins and if so, why?

I probably shouldn't have said anything to wind her up looking back but what's wrong with reins!?

Don't be ridiculous

Every time a thread like this comes up I remember a Mner who may still be on here, her user name had ‘Elvis ‘ in it. Her toddler son bolted between two cars into the road and was killed.

OP, your child’s life is worth a million times more than some judgemental twatspangles opinion. Please keep using them.

I understand how you felt @didsomebodaysayyyjusteat but this woman was an interfering, nosy, nutjob. Ignore and move on. Oh and reins are just fine.

@FlatWhiteExtraHot not what I said, pet. If you want to try and berate someone work on your comprehension skills first.

I didn't use reins but considering my teenage kids both still remember "the iron grip" I used to hold their hands, maybe it would have been better than just holding their hands firmly.

Just yesterday we were driving on a road with heavy traffic and a toddler ran towards the road. The mum was looking for the bus and didn't pay attention at all. Luckily, the child stopped by herself before reaching the road, but it could have ended so badly. Seriously: How can you not know that toddlers are fast and must be restrained when moving on a pavement/in traffic?

I think reins are a good idea. And they are only used usually for a very short period of time. Idiot woman.

I don't know what peoples issue is with reins either, i can't see how they're any different to having your child restrained with straps in a buggy or in a car seat, it's just safety measures you need for babies/toddlers. I would imagine it feels less restrictive to a toddler walking than holding their parents hand does as well

I don't really get why you are expected to be the better person. Your retort doesn't make her any less of an arse. You use reins to keep your child safe so you are a good parent. Others might not need or want to do that to keep their children safe which is great for them. Having reins is much better than having your child taken or wander off into danger which could happen in a very short space of time through no fault of your own but the consequences could be horrific. I don't really understand why people can't see that for themselves.

I was in Sainsbury's early one afternoon with my baby in a carrier. The two men in front buying their beers commented on how unnatural it was to use a carrier as opposed to a pram.

DD was born with a huge head of dark thick hair and I wasn't one for dressing her in obviously girly clothing and putting bows on etc so had another man comment loudly but not directly to me that HE needed a haircut whilst getting out of the lift. She wasn't even a year old. Don't know why these people feel it necessary to judge or comment, it just shows them as the ignorant twerps that they are.

I've got 2 children. One needed reins, one didn't. They are very useful.
That woman was very rude and probably just looking for something to be annoyed about.

Found the post where the poor woman lost her child.

For anyone up in arms about me making a fucking comment about stinky breath, have a look at this.

I will never be silenced or judged for keeping my child safe.

Honestly, I'm not expecting to be the better person at anything.

I just want a world where people don't judge other peoples parenting preferences. That's all.

IME people tend to have no issue with back pack reins
back pack example - often finding them cute were as more traditional reins - harness and wrist strap do tend to attract negative comments. Though I tended to use back pack reins with slightly older toddlers than just walking babies.

People do make judgemental comments though - mostly it's best to ignore - more for the whole - never to wrestle with a pig You get dirty, and besides the pig likes it thing - some people are best ignored though sometimes a sharp retort can make them behavior going forward though with young children I tended to do less for fear of escalation.

Though FIL and DH once caught a toddler who ran down a hill away from parents and was heading straight for busy road they only just caught him
FIL was quite curt about the need for reins with said parents who made some comment about toddler being free spirt though he was taken aback at how unconcerned the parents were.

Reins are a choice though @didsomebodaysayyyjusteat depending on you and your child. And one you shouldnt be judged for.

Some of these though now are going into the realms of saying the only way to keep your child safe is by using reins - which is judging someones parenting is it not?

I think that's an excellent response

And if your child ran into the road, the woman would be first to call you an irresponsible parent. I think I would have laughed in her face!

I just want a world where people don't judge other peoples parenting preferences. That's all.

I found as soon as I became visibly pg strangers felt need to give me their unwanted advice and share their opinions - frequently based on fuck all.

I learnt not to give openings, be polite but curt to shut down conversations and practise a don't fuck with me look to stop people commenting - that came in very useful with toddler tantrums.

I missed your comment OP.

Quite frankly I judge people who go round looking for a row with a child in toe.

You really lost your higher ground, IMO.

You shoud have laughed loudly & said "This looks like a dog lead to you? You should ask if they do eye tests in this branch."

Public places are full of morons unfortunately. You did what I would have done (maybe not the breath thing... althought who knows, in the heat of the moment...)

I bought reins for grandchild when in my care the oldest was a bolter. Mummy cadged them off me. Safety first.

Yeah she sounds like an absolute idiot! I’m with you on the bolting! When my little girl was walking for the first few months I got reins too. My sister had a lot to say about it but I’d much rather know she was safe next to me with reins on rather than running away and getting knocked over by someone who is expecting a one year old to be running suddenly. She sounds horrible.

I didn't use them and personally don't like them but I think if they keep a child safe then absolutely use them. It's not anyone else's business if you want to use them for your daughter, it's not like they are tied around her neck 😂 she's not being hurt or neglected. The women who commented was 100% in the wrong and should mind her own business.

The two things are completely unrelated though.

there is nothing at all wrong with keeping your child safe and a retort along those lines at the time would have been absolutely fine.

making a personal remark later, not so much.

I actually ended a friendshoip over reins.

DS1 has a range of special needs and was a bolter who literally did not understand 'No' or 'Stop'. he also ran alot faster than me.

A former friend took me to task when she saw the reins for the first time. She said 'I am going to say 'woof woof' every time you use them'. i laughed limply thinking she was making a not very funny joke but she wasn't. She did indeed say woof woof and then told me once when a bunch of us were out on a night out 'I will not see you any more if you treat your child like a dog'. I said 'Fine'. And walked out. She has indeed not seen us anymore.

To be fair this issue was the proverbial straw with this friend. But I have never regretted it.

Ahhhh the crunchy clan. The ones I've found most judgemental when it comes to parenting.