Trapped Toddler Parents: Surviving the summer

[Motherofmonsters]

Hi,

New thread for toddler support, ideas and general rants!

Hello!

Today is one of those days where I'm seriously reconsidering my life choices. They have been wound up, falling out, running around the house generally driving me insane. MIL and SIL popped up for a little bit which helped and then we went down my mum's. I don't think she wants us back in a hurry!

Glad your feeling better @Chocolatetrifle. I hope you have an ace time at the cinema!

Hope you're having a great weekend @squishymamma.

@Motherofmonsters , sorry it's been one of those days. Some days are just so long. Hopefully tomorrow will be better.

Glad you’re feeling better @Chocolatetrifle

Sorry it’s been a crap day @Motherofmonsters

Nothing much to report here, apart from DD’s sleep still being crap. It’s sending me under a bit to be honest, I’m ratty and impatient and being snappy and shit to DH more often than I care to admit. It’s probably not even that bad comparatively, it’s just that I’d got used to it being so much better and almost like normal sleep for a while, and we’re 2 years plus in and I’m just kind of done with being disturbed. I basically ignore her when she’s awake now anyway, apart from passing her a drink of water, it’s just that because she’s in the room with me it disturbs me. If she’s not in the room (usually bed) with me all hell breaks loose so whilst I know that is what we need to change and get her in her own room, I don’t feel like I have the energy to fight that battle right now.

Park yesterday with my sister and nephew. Park again today this time with daddy in tow, then walk into town to pick up a parcel and get a few bits for dinner - we got her a lovely little doll’s cot from the charity shop for £2.50

Far too much tv still. Determined to get into a better routine from Monday - she’ll be at the Childminder’s for 2 days anyway, and our groups and stuff will be back on, so hopefully we’ll keep it down to slightly less obsessive levels.

How’s everyone doing?
We went to the park again today - took a picnic this time. We’ll picnic is a grand term for a cheese sandwich and an apple each but still.
Our local park is really big, with loads of surrounding fields so we did the play area and then went round the outskirts and let DD scamper around the fields. She spent quite a lot of time crouched down eating the grass ‘like a butbut mummy’ (butbut is a bunny).

We also picked a load of blackberries as came across a bush that still had lots of fruit - most of the ones near here have given up the ghost.

Sleep is still shit 🥱

Bad sleep seems so personal, somehow doesn’t it?

I’ve been really unwell and I feel horrendously guilty. DH has been in charge and arghh … lovely man but just doesn’t do things as I would. Fruit shoots and massive drinks of milk then won’t understand why he won’t eat dinner. Then when DS woke at midnight last night DH took him into bed with him. So I’m anticipating a bad night too.

Sorry youre having rubbish sleep @AliasGrape it makes all the difference! Sounds like you had a nice time at the park.

Sorry you're not feeling very well @Neverfullycharged I hope you feel better soon. It's hard when they don't do as you would do.

Kids have been less feral today so having a better one. We haven't been up to much, DS helped DH with the errands (going dump etc) this morning and then it's poured down with rain. DD has been crying so much and is really sleepy so she's not very well. I'm hoping she perks up for first day back at nursery tomorrow.

I am glad you’re having a better day!

I still feel rough but having to plough through it. It’s on days like today I desperately wish we had grandparents who could help a bit. The house is a tip (although better when I had a tidy round when DS had his nap) and he’s just been stuck in front of the television

@Neverfullycharged hope you feel better soon, it is dreadful when you feel ill and have no energy but still have to carry on and struggle through. Everything is then ten times harder. Just do the bare minimum to get though to bedtime.

@AliasGrape how old is your DD could it be back molar pain teething causing disruption? My dS2 is 3 in dec and he keeps waking too and shouting out. I spend a lot of time playing musical beds in the night, in out in out shake it all about, mummy's not getting much quality sleep etc etc.

Glad your day has been a bit easier @Motherofmonsters .

Mines been ok, not amazing but normal ok. A bit too much defiance from my ds1 , so I feel like I've spent a lot of time telling him off. They both don't listen and literally hardly get on with each other at the moment. I'm hopeful some day they will. It's like as soon as they see each other they get wound up. It's easier being one on one sometimes. Anyway, aside from that, it's DS1s first day in reception tomorrow. I'm hoping he doesn't get up at the crack of dawn to start arguing with me. We've deleted YouTube and going to try to do lots of reading and watch 'calm' programmes on cbeebies. Fingers crossed.

Sleep well everyone 💤

Hope DS1's first day at school goes okay and he was happy to go in @chocolatetrifle.

I could have written the same thing about mine, I'm pretty sure I've just spent the summer shouting at them and then shouting at each other.

I've dropped DD to nursery and DS into year 1. Both walked in without a goodbye or a look back. Probably better that way

AHH we've got a proper thunderstorm going on here. I am not looking forward to the school run

@Motherofmonsters oh I hope you don't get soaked. Hope first day at school and nursery went ok?
My ds1 really enjoyed his first morning in so I'm pleased. I took dS2 to toddler group this morning. It's been an emotional day really with ds1 starting at my old school.

Hope everyone is ok.

Luckily the rain decided to stop at pick up time. Seems to have gone okay, no news is good news! He got invited to a birthday party so he's happy. I'm slightly concerned as it just had his first name but there's two of them. Hopefully it went to the right one.
I'm glad DS1 had a good Morning!

Glad your DS’ had a good first morning/ day @Motherofmonsters and @Chocolatetrifle Hope today continues the same.

This is the time of year I really do miss teaching and especially Early Years, feels really odd not to be meeting my new class - always absolute carnage of course, especially with Nursery, but really special too.

DD went back to the childminders after a few week’s break - she’s never had a second’s hesitation going in before but was a bit wobbly yesterday and again this morning - no tears just kept saying ‘not yet mummy’, hiding when she was supposed to be getting dressed etc. Fine once there though.

Yesterday I dropped her and then went for a run - well week 1 of couch to 5k hardly a ‘run’ but there we are. I’ve done it a few times in the past but not since DD and wasn’t sure if I could just start at about week 5 or something but no, week 1 was enough! DH dropped DD off this morning and I’m in bed (I’ve been sorting work emails so I didn’t feel too guilty) but going to get moving now.

Still lots of waking at night, last night I couldn’t get her down till 8.20, she was awake at midnight for half an hour, again at 3 and then woke up for good at 6.30, similar pattern for a few weeks now and I’m not really sure what to try. I think maybe she needs to come out of the sleeping bags and we’ll try converting the cot into a bed with a pillow and quilt, as she seems to like that when she gets in my bed. Ultimately though she just wants to be in my bed and ideally physically draped over me, not much change from when she was a baby really.

Evening everyone 😊

Well done with the run @AliasGrape ! It's always good to do something just for you, some peace time. Toddler sleep is difficult. Perhaps try a toddler bed with pillow and quilt? A big girl bed, she can pick her quilt /duvet cover?

@Motherofmonsters that's lovely your DS has been invited to a party. Glad you didn't get soaked too.

Day two of school has gone well for my ds1. He seems to really enjoy it fingers crossed. My dS2 is enjoying one on one time and I'm making the most of it before he starts preschool in January. Love days like this. Makes up for all the horrendous days when I've lost my shit! May the peace continue. Sleep well everyone.

Hello!

So glad your DS1 likes big school @Chocolatetrifle, I can imagine that takes some of the worry off! It’s bliss when you have just one to focus on and give quality attention to.

Really impressed you managed to run @AliasGrape especially with all the disturbed sleep! My DS1 is 2 and a half, he sleeps through about 80% of the time but still wakes a fair bit. It’s really tiring. Maybe you can start getting DD into her own room by putting her bed in her room and one of you sleeping on a camp bed/mattress next to her for a few nights? DS1 went through a period where he was really unsettled at night and this was the only thing that worked, I bought a camp bed thinking it would be a while but he was fine after a few nights.

Hope you’re feeling better @Neverfullycharged.

We had a lovely break for the wedding but my goodness did I get massive engorgement…the pump barely did anything and then obviously we got back late Sunday night and went to pick the kids up - DS2 was not interested until about 12.30am at which point I was climbing the walls in discomfort!! Wasn’t long before he’d gotten them back to normal though. He seems to have an insane appetite, tonight he’s eaten almost 5 slices of bread with jam and nut butter!!

Bith DC were a bit upset we’d left them so long so we kept DS1 off nursery yesterday and just had a slow day. I think it helped but he’s been having a lot more tantrums than usual so it may be a few days before he’s back to total normal. He’s also half dropped his nap but yesterday he nodded off on the couch watching TV 😳 at about 2.45pm so was 100% a danger nap. Averaging 8.30pm bedtime which is way too late for me as I am knackered by 9pm! Hoping to cut out more naps and get it back down to 7.30pm.

Anyway probably much more to report but it’s bedtime, have to enjoy my bed while I can because DS2 is in such a good coma DH managed to put him to sleep in his own crib which is a rarity! Have a good sleep everyone

Hi, sorry not posted much I think I've been in a bit of shock with ds1 starting school, it's gone ok so far.

We've had swimming lessons and a 2 year old's party this afternoon so that was nice.
I took dS2 to Tumble tots on Thursday but he was not overly keen on the session, it's been cancelled next week so I'll have to see if it's worth taking him again. I've paid but if he doesn't enjoy it, I'll just have to write it off.

How is everyone doing? X

Hello!

I'm glad DS's first week went well @Chocolatetrifle. Is he still on mornings or doing full days now.

DS has done his first week in year 1. Mostly positive, only had one 'chat' as he had to get removed from his reading/writing lesson. The teacher did say he was with 1-1's and their behaviour might have affected his and then the TA running it didn't know what to do with him.. the next day she said he had a brilliant day so maybe they changed it up.

We met up with a school friend for a run around at the park this morning and then DS went for a sleepover at PIL. They couldn't have both so DD was home with us, luckily she didn't get too upset with being left behind.

Not sure what the plan is for tomorrow, will depend on when DS comes back, I'm hoping we will get invited up for roast.

@Motherofmonsters hope you got your roast? Is it a big jump into year 1 do you think? Ds1 is on afternoons this week 1 until 3.15 which is a çomplete pain. It's going to be like summer holidays again in the morning. I can't get over the amount of letters which get emailed from the school with information, and it's only been a week!

How's everyone feeling? I'm feeling pooped, probably be in bed at 9!

No roast for me unfortunately but they didn't bring DS back until 3.30pm and bought the kids McDonalds so I can't be too mad. I've sorted and tidied the kids room, hoovered and mopped downstairs so feel like I've been a bit productive today.

It's a big leap from reception to year 1, their free playtime is only a tiny portion of the day now. His read,write inc (reading/writing lesson) is a solid hour. I personally think that's a long time for 5/6 year olds to concentrate for. Impossible for DS as he has no interest at all in writing or reading. Maths and science he might manage.

Yes I get loads from the school as well!

Hello.
Weve had a dull weekend really, just pottering. Went into town yesterday as needed a few bits, DH been finishing painting the kitchen this morning so I took DD to feed the ducks and look for cookers/ acorns, then a lazy afternoon.

I’m so tired, DD’s sleep has been a little better but I just think it would take a month of uninterrupted nights for me to catch up and feel normal again. We’re really near the airport and the flight path seems to have changed recently so we get more take offs which are so loud and disruptive - there used to be a rule about we only got so many days of that in a row but it’s been over two weeks now. Between that and DD waking up (or even when she doesn’t I just start stressing that she’s going to and getting all anxious about it) I feel a bit broken. I feel like all my energy and enthusiasm for doing lovely things with DD is just gone - i so wanted to be the creative, crafty, tuff tray mum filling the day with exciting play opportunities, these days it’s a win if I manage an hour without sticking the telly on.

I know that feeling all too well @AliasGrape I definitely thought I would be the fun tuff tray mum but it's not really working out. Don't be too hard on yourself though as you still do plenty with her, feeding ducks and looking for acorns is great fun for her.
Hopefully you'll get some proper sleep soon and then you will feel a lot better. Not sleeping properly has such a massive effect on things.

Don't be too hard on yourself @AliasGrape . I am almost 5 years in to having 2 boys and I'm definitely not the fun tuff tray mum a lot of the time. I've been broken many times. Somehow we get strength from somewhere to carry on. I put the TV on lots, you cannot be performing all day and be on night duty too. Try to get some time for yourself somehow, I know it's not easy. As a sahm with a job I do part-time from home and which I fit around the kids (so not typical part- time hours every week), I have put pressure on myself in the past to feel like I have to do lots of creative, educational activities with them, as they have not been at nursery a young age. I guess what im trying to say is try not to feel the pressure to do something all the time.

@Motherofmonsters hope your DS enjoys school this week.

Afternoons for us this week, I've got the TV on alresdy snd we'll pop out somewhere this morning to pass the time til lunch.

Hello all and happy back to school/beginning of school @Chocolatetrifle and @Motherofmonsters!

Im right there with you atm @AliasGrape, DS2 has been sleeping really badly recently and I don’t know how I am still functioning! It’s also hard because both boys are very mummy obsessed so I’m constantly in demand. DH and I have discussed giving each other breaks and getting DGP to do one day a month so we can have a date day, but we’ll see if that materialises.

I’ve had a rubbish few days, we’re really feeling the increased cost of living as I’m sure you all probably are so I have budgeted very precisely to try and get us through to Christmas, but things keep coming up. DS1 has grown out of his warm jumpers and now it’s getting cold, he needs a load of new wool (necessary in Norway) etc. And then yesterday we were at a family gathering and I reversed into someone else’s car. Long story short we don’t have nearly enough incoming to cover outgoings and it’s worrying me sick and sapping my energy to be fun mum. I know my DC don’t care what’s going on as long as we manage to get some food in them and keep them warm but I am beginning to wonder how we will get through this winter. So there’s been a lot of TV here too while I’ve gone and had a little cry…

Sorry for the long post but it’s much easier to tell random stranger-friends on the internet than people in real life (sad but true) - I am a worrier so it’ll probably be fine but it does affect my ability to parent.

Anyway to end on a positive note DS1 had a fab time yesterday overeating on cake and hot dogs and running around bouncing on the trampoline at BILs. He got progressively dirtier and lost items of clothing along the way so in the end was in a fancy shirt, a nappy, and his yellow wellies (his choice of shoes which became the ones he wore when we forgot to bring his dress shoes). Looking forward to getting these pictures out on his 18th!

Hope everyone has a good day.

Thank you for the support/ solidarity all! I'm just feeling a bit sorry for myself is all, will try and up my game a bit this week. I'm actually working 3 full days so will only have Thursday and Friday to fill.

Speaking of Fridays - we started going back to Tiny Talk, something we did from her being really little and then I left it for a few months. There's a toddler one started by the same lady now, so decided to give that a go and DD loved it so much, it was really sweet how happy she was. So she does get lots of nice stuff really.

I'm sorry you're having such a rubbish few days @squishymamma That's really shit that you're so worried, and I know how sickening it can be when you think you've just about got it covered and then something unexpected comes up. Have you got second hand options there for replacing his jumpers etc? I got some cheap merino base layers from mountain warehouse, although I think they may well be too small by the time we need them here, but I use vinted and thrift groups a lot too, not sure if you have similar options? DD has also grown out of 2-3 in a lot of stuff - pjs mostly, about half her leggings are looking a bit small too, and she's really short of tops that fit as well. Plus needed new wellies and socks. That was part of the reason for going into town this weekend, I wanted to get some cheap bits to bridge the gap until I can afford to start replacing things properly, or till I have the time/ energy to start scouring for better quality second hand stuff. I know there's a few bags of stuff a friend passed on and we stashed at my in laws house, so I'm hoping there will be some usable stuff in there.

Sorry I know the clothes thing is only a tiny fraction of it, and the bigger issue is the worry and stress of it all. Wish I had something more helpful to offer!

@squishymamma and @AliasGrape , support and a place to vent is what we are here for, even if we are strangers on the internet!

Your insurance will cover the repair to the other car surely Squishy? As such it will just be your excess, if that's how it works in Norway?

Glad you are feeling a bit more positive Alias x