Trapped Toddler Parents: Surviving the summer

[Motherofmonsters]

Hi,

New thread for toddler support, ideas and general rants!

Today has been a bit crappy.

DD slept in quite late which only really happens when she’s not 100% , wanted to stay in bed reading books, messed about with her breakfast but then did seem to perk up and went back to her usual full on self rest of the day.

I on the other hand have felt like rubbish all day - having a really horrible period and just generally done in, headachey and knackered. I managed to make some ‘healthy’ biscuits with DD, they were horrible but she enjoyed the mixing! And we did a few bits we could do from the sofa like reading books and threading pasta on a ribbon, but mostly the poor thing has been watching telly whilst I lay there feeling sorry for myself. DH was working from home and chased her round the garden a bit on his lunch hour and then again when he finished but I feel like she’s had a crap day. Oh well,
shes at the childminder tomorrow and always has a ball there.

@AliasGrape sorry to hear it was a bad day yesterday hopefully you will feel better today, periods post children are just awful.

How are you feeling today @AliasGrape? Nothing wrong with a tv day.

Good luck with the pumpkin seeds @Chocolatetrifle we grew them many years ago and they were actually quite big.

I woke up to a UTI so that's been fun, the doctor rang me back by 9.30, took a pee sample in and I had my antibiotics by 1pm. Shockingly efficient.
DS was wound up this morning, shopping came, I went doctors, nanny turned up etc.. we fell out again. Grandad came to the rescue and took him out to practice on his pedal bike/go to the park. This afternoon we've been playing with the Play-Doh and DS played in his room for a bit with his Imaginex toys.
The kids have now gone to PIL for a sleepover. (I think they're concerned I might snap and totally fall apart)

Hope everyone is having a good day

@Motherofmonsters sorry to hear you have a UTI. Hope you start to feel a bit better now with the antibiotics. Glad your GP was quick. Hope you get some rest and a good sleep tonight whilst kids are at the in-laws.

We've been to a different garden centre today, which was good as it had a big outdoor play area. This afternoon we went foraging for 'interesting things' to collect in party bags in woods nearby. Tele has been on a lot to be honest too because I've got PMT brewing and my enthusiasm for anything more is slipping out of the window.

Hope everyone has a good night, please can someone have a word with my dS2, tell him to stop waking up?

Ah, I have found my people

I have a 20 month old. He’s lovely but Never. Fucking. Stops!

Until recently, he was in nursery FT, but I’ve dropped two days at work and now he’ll be in three days a week from September. Now, he’s in for two days but I’ve done half days for the past week and a half due to heat.

I don’t know how SAHPs cope. They have my utmost respect. I have actually enjoyed spending time with him more than I thought I would - went through a VERY challenging stage a while back and if I’m honest it knocked my parenting confidence if you like. It quickly becomes a self perpetuating cycle as I was getting stressed and he was getting stressed …

We’ve had a fabulous summer filled with fun and games. But he can be really rough and pushy with other kids - I don’t know if anyone has any tips on how best to manage this?

Sorry to hear you have a uti @Motherofmonsters, hope the antibiotics work quickly and enjoy the peace whilst the kids are on a sleepover.

Hope you get a decent night’s sleep @Chocolatetrifle

Hello @Neverfullycharged Ive only just joined the thread too. I’ve found 18 months ish up till fairly recently the most challenging stage, ans know what you mean about it being a vicious cycle when you start getting stressed and it rubs off on them.

I do feel a bit better today thanks for those who asked. My periods have always been quite extreme but post DD they’ve gone nuclear.

Childminder day today so a relatively easy one for me just working in an empty house as DH was on site too. Last day before childminder has a holiday and MIL has also told me she doesn’t want to have DD for any full days either (most we ever did was about 10.30 - 3.30 ish but still) so I’ve no idea how I’m going to get any work done next week but oh well. In a few weeks DD will be at minder’s 2 days a week so that will help. There’s been a little boy there up to now who DD absolutely loves and he’s a big part of the reason she’s so happy to go there, she’s always so excited to see him but today was his last day. I feel a bit sad for her even though I know she’ll forget soon enough.

How’s everyone getting on?
We had a neighbour come over this morning for coffee with her 5 month old son. Was nice but a bit awkward as it can be when you don’t know each other at all (I’d done that oh we must have a coffee some time thing once when she came over with some mail that had been delivered to them by mistake, and she’d taken me up on it which I wasn’t entirely expecting 😁). I was glad she did in the end though, she’s very nice and her baby is adorable.

In the afternoon we went for a walk to feed the ducks. Because DD wanted to push about 27 assorted stuffed bunnies in her dolls pram, and I knew I’d end up carrying the lot, I thought I’d chance going without a bag of any type (I’m normally still lugging the giant backpack with nappies, wipes, snacks and 15 changes of clothes with me). So obviously she decided to do a big poo herself, and then somehow got dog poo all over her hands (which she then wiped all over herself and me) whilst trying to pick daisies because some lazy, selfish prick hadn’t picked up their dog’s mess. So I didn’t have anything to clean her with, had to wipe it off with her hoodie as best I could and march her home whilst slightly hysterically screeching at her not to put her hands in her mouth. A bit further down the path we saw another mum who wasn’t idiotic enough to leave home without a
changing bag and I explained what had happened and begged a few wipes from her, then basically bathed her in dettol when we got home.

So a mixed bag of a day really. Shame as we were having a gorgeous time on our walk looking at blackberries and acorns and at the bugs hiding under a log. ‘How outdoorsy and healthy this is,’ I thought, awarding myself ten parenting points before it all went, quite literally, to shit.

Oh, we’ve all been there, @AliasGrape ! I went to a baby group with just a small handbag with nappies and wipes as my changing bag was in the wash. Of course, DS had a huge poo that went all up his back and over his clothes. Fortunately DH was WFH that day as was still partly lockdown so he came to our rescue.

Easy day for me as DS was at nursery. I’ve actually really enjoyed spending more time with him this summer, though. I thought I’d find it hard and I have, but more physically hard and tiring. I’ve found DS mostly really enjoyable, bar a tantrum or two!

Hello all and welcome @Neverfullycharged!

Sounds like a stressful time @AliasGrape but also 100% something that would also happen to me! I also do the hysterical screeching when DS1 has stuff on his hands that shouldn’t go in his mouth, I’m sure it’s hardwired in us.

DS1 and I have some kind of weird diarrhoea, I think it might be due to a very spicy meal we had yesterday. I have it worst and I ate most, and both of us are totally fine otherwise. Terrible cramping for me though. Totally tmi but it’s you lot so I don’t care. DH has managed to avoid it and obviously DS2 didn’t eat the same thing…hoping it goes away soon! But apparently DS1 had a massive poonami at nursery, full on up the back. Glad it wasn’t at home!

We had a fun time playing with trains and a Jenga tower tonight. DS2 has started crawling and the fighting over everything has already begun, send help!

Welcome @Neverfullycharged. We definitely all have those loss of confidence days, weeks because of our kids.
Some days can be a real challenge, I've definitely been in tears because of mine. On days like that I like to hide in the kitchen.

How are you feeling today @squishymamma , hope you feel better soon.

@AliasGrape , oh sorry about the poo incident! I've definitely had a similar incident. My DS1 picked up some dried dog poo thinking it was a stone, and tried to throw it in the stream I was nearly sick. Worse was the dead baby bird he picked up in the playground.

Well since I posted I had one fabulous sleep, both boys didn't wake or shout me in the night until 5 am! It was bliss. Ds1 has given dS2 a black eye by throwing a fisher price retro record player record at him. They keep throwing things at each other at the moment so I'm having to change the consequences I think. Some days I find parenting so hard.

We had swimming lesson today and a fair in the afternoon which was nice but expensive.

Lovely day today - took DD to Build a Bear to get her ‘count your candles’ bear - basically pay their age in their birthday month, which actually was last month but they don’t check so hey. So she got a nice enough bear for £2, still got to ‘build it’ with the stuffing and choose a little heart to go in it (which is kind of weird). We met my friend there and went for a coffee and cake with her.

Came home and in the afternoon friend and her DD came round for a play which actually went ok because the weather was nice and we could use the garden.

DH is out overnight, had everything under control until once again at bedtime the special bunny and only bunny that will do at bedtime was nowhere to be found. Last time she’d hidden him inside a cushion cover but no idea this time. So she was awake till 9 repeatedly telling my she wants bunny, very hard not to shout ‘well why do you insist on bloody hiding him then?’ but refrained. He’s only small, like the size of DH’s hand, so easy to lose. I’m pretty positive he’s in the house somewhere - we don’t let him leave the house after the time we thought we’d lost him in a car park (turns out he was at home again, stuffed inside a toy bus but the fear was enough to place him under permanent house arrest). We did buy a back up bunny after that time but he’s been deemed unacceptable - exact
same one just hasn’t been held and chewed and slept with for 2 years so not ok. I didn’t even offer him tonight as he just makes the situation worse, and she settled for a penguin eventually. I know I’ll be in for it again when she wakes up in the night and he’s not there too.

Have had another search since she finally fell asleep but no joy. Where are you bunny? 🐰🙁

Have you found bunny yet @AliasGrape ?

We had a nice morning out but it meant nap time went a bit tits up, for want of a better turn of phrase! So bedtime at 6 tonight!

We are going to a toddler class tomorrow with a friend who I do like but is a real smug mama. I don’t wish ill upon anybody but I do wonder if I’ll have an easy three year old and she’ll have a slightly more challenging one!

Hope you found bunny @AliasGrape

Welcome @Neverfullycharged

We've had a good couple of days, went to the beach yesterday with my sister and her kids. Ended up staying for 5 hours and we were all tired out. I think I traumatized DD though as we were on the other side of the beach and you have to walk up a slope to get to the car. DD hates walking and always insists on being carried but I physically couldn't carry her as I had the heavy bags. She screamed like full on screamed the whole way saying she wants a carry. Got her to the car, she fell asleep on the way home and then when she woke up countinued crying saying she just wanted a carry.

Today the kids have weirdly played nicely/quietly so me and DH have tackled our bedroom/dumping ground. Two bin bags later the junk is gone, other bits have found a proper home. We've got new clothes rails (will eventually be built in wardrobes when we get the money) and new bedside cabinets with drawers. Feels a lot more airy and relaxing. I've put some bits on Vinted to.

Tomorrow they are going to be hell as they haven't been out today but I feel like we've achieved.

Hi all, I haven’t been on for a while as have been with my parents at their holiday caravan for a few days.
We have had a lovely time but the buses took a long time today so I thought I would skip stopping in the middle and carry on, which was fine till DS was getting a bit bored and fed up, luckily I had my Mum with me so we could tag team him. We then walked home to burn off some energy.

Thanks guys, bunny has been found!

She did indeed wake up a lot last night asking for him, I put her in bed with me in the end and was able to just shush her when she did and she drifted back off, but it meant I had a shocker of a nights sleep. We had another unsuccessful hunt this morning then when DH came back he was looking too, and he eventually found him in my wardrobe 🤷‍♀️ I’d looked there but somehow missed it.

Ive really done my back in, probably carrying DD funnily enough @Motherofmonsters We dispensed with the pushchair yesterday which was fine for the most part but then as we we walking back through the Trafford centre and to the car DD insisted on being carried, and I’m regretting it today.

DH feeling a bit fragile after his night out so DD has had a bit of a crap day just at home, and a very late nap which means bedtime is currently not going well (I’ve left DH to it but will probably go swap with him in a bit).

Grrr I've just typed message but lost it so will just say hello everyone and goodnight and glad bunny was found!

Not sure if I've had a crap day or if I've just been in a horrible mood. Even MIL commented earlier that I wasnt the jolliest. Probably a mixture of DD deciding sleep was optional, getting my period and DS being totally unregulated and tired as he didn't fall asleep until 11.30pm!

Anywhoo they went down my mum's for an hour this morning so I could do a bit of work. We then went for a very rainy muddy walk through the woods where DD refused to walk and then when she did fell over in a giant puddle so I ended up carrying her again.

Went to the cafe for ice cream/ice lollies. Told them they could have one thing and they kept changing their minds 100 times and then DS opened an ice lolly before I paid for it and tried to change his mind..

Lastly we went to town with MIL to get DS's school shoes. We got some but it was stressful. MIL said it probably wasn't the best day for you to go shoe shopping.... She wasn't wrong.

DD is finally asleep having mucked about. Anyone got any toddler bedtime tips? I'm fed up of spending forever in her room.

Hope everyone is having a better day!

Hello all, feeling much better now but it lasted all weekend and seems DH is now struggling so we must have picked up something somewhere. At least it wasn’t a bug where you’re sick too, phew!

Had a quiet weekend as I had to be close to a toilet 😂 played at some playgrounds and did the food shop (obviously I washed my hands red raw at all points to avoid potentially infecting people!). We’ve decided to trial no screen Sunday for the whole house so Sunday was a loooooong day, but actually we had a lot of fun just playing together and going out on a little walk. DS1 asked for the TV a few times but only complained a little when he was told no.

How was your toddler class @Neverfullycharged? I know a few smug mamas too, my favourite is the one who claims her DD has never watched TV and doesn’t even know what it is. She’s just had a second baby so it’ll be interesting to hear if she’s still surviving without screens…

Good job on the productive sort out @Motherofmonsters, sorry it’s been a bit of a bleh day. Can’t help on the bedtime front as DS1 insists we sit with him until he falls asleep. We just stick to our routine and hope for the best. Oh and he doesn’t care if we’re on our phones so I read a lot of books on my library app!

DS2 is having some kind of sleep regression at the moment so I’d better go to sleep while I can, hope everyone has a good night!

I'm actually laughing at the fact some mums boast their kids don't know what a TV is! Why do some mums feel it makes them more superior? I'd definitely take it with a pinch of salt.

I'm feeling a bit meh at the moment too don't know if it's because I'm running out of summer holiday ideas and the fact ds1 starts school soon. I'm excited for him but it's definitely making me feel strange. @Motherofmonsters do you have any starting school tips?

Also the preschool dS2 was due to start at in January has suddenly been closed, I don't know how long for. It was DS1s old one and I really, really loved it and the staff and I'm really uneasy about it but I've booked a couple of others to go and see as I need to make plans and get things in place for him if the original one is not going to be an option now

How are you feeling today@Motherofmonsters ? Glad you are feeling a bit better @squishymamma .

No screen Sunday sounds like a good idea @squishymamma , keep us updated.

We've made a den downstairs today that went quite well and played with slime and read a bit, bizarrely boys have not fought too much today either, although it's still only lunchtime I guess.

Sorry to hear your preschool has closed @Chocolatetrifle, fingers crossed you find a good one, hopefully even better! Hope your peaceful day of no fighting continued :)

DS1 had a nosebleed the night before last, they seem to come out of nowhere. I remember having a lot when I was little though so he’s probably got it from me. I think he’s slowly starting to drop his last nap, which I’m both dreading and looking forward to (because it’s really hard to get him to nap on the weekend when we’re out somewhere). Will miss my alone time!

Apart from that nothing exciting to report, we’ve managed no TV after nursery the past 2 days and it’s been fun! Still gets it in the morning though as it’s way too busy to try and play with him as he demands…

Hope everyone has a good day!

@chocolatetrifle, I would just say try not to make a big deal out of it and talk too much about going. I found with DS everyone talking to him about it made him anxious as he couldn't really picture what it would be like. Also try not to keep asking them what they did and how it went etc. I found DS wouldn't reply but if I didnt ask to much he would talk about it more.
Sorry DS's preschool has closed.

Well done on the no TV @squishymamma.

We've (I've) had a quiet morning so far as FIL took DS out to practice on his peddle bike. He actually rode it! FIL videoed him and sent to me. Now getting ready to go out for a rainy, muddy walk in the woods. Feels like a soggy Autumn not summer.

Hi everyone.

No bedtime tips here @Motherofmonsters - DD still falls asleep in our bed with one of us cuddling her and then we transfer her. I know that’s so far from ideal but believe me it’s several huge leaps up from the extensive rigmarole we used to have to
go through even 6 months ago!

You’re doing well on reducing TV/ screens thing @squishymamma . I think screen free Sunday’s is something we should look at.

Well I really did hurt my back, so the last few days have been hard work. Monday was awful, I thought it was better but then drove to MIL’s to do some work and the driving really aggravated it. Managed a few hours work then had to leave DD with MIL whilst I went for a smear test. The nurse took one look at me hobbling in and refused to do it saying I was clearly in pain and better to rebook for in a few weeks. Managed to get me and DD home then just went to bed with a hot water bottle.

Yesterday DH was out 7-6, I was supposed to meeting a friend and her boys, and taking my nephew along as he is good friends with one of the boys from school, had to cancel as just couldn’t face it. DD watched a shit load of tv in the morning but then when my painkillers had properly kicked in I did manage to pick some blackberries in the garden with her and we made some
crumbles, and we managed a short walk too, before more TV just hanging on till DH got back.

Today it’s much better thankfully so I risked swimming with DD. It’s a real balancing act between will it make my back worse vs it will definitely tire DD out and make the rest of the day easier.
Before that we had her 2 year check which was absolutely fine. My only concern was her weight as she would literally eat all day if we let her. HV was perfectly happy with her, she’s in proportion as she’s on 98th centile for height and same for weight so that’s fine, but we did have a good talk about portion sizes and I’ll probably just do a height and weight check in 6 months or so just to keep an eye.

This afternoon we did some drawing and play dough and only 30mins TV so definitely an improvement on the last few days!

Evening everyone 😊.

You poor thing @AliasGrape , I hope your back improves for you. So hard trying to manage when looking after a little one, sending you sympathy. Glad the 2 year check went well. It's swings and roundabouts with toddler eating or not isn't it?

@Motherofmonsters thanks for the school tips, I'll definitely bear all that in mind. Ds1 is excited at the moment, will start a week of mornings on the 5th. I don't have any bedtime toddler tips as dS2 still goes asleep one with his milk, and he's 3 in December 😳. I'll have to change my routine, I've been saying that for a year though!

@squishymamma hope ds1 doesn't have a nosebleed tonight.

Took my boys to softplay this morning then we've played outside in the garden. It's been an ok day.

Sleep well.

We sleep trained at 17 months - felt horrendous but went from abysmal sleep to amazing sleep in one night! I think DS was ready for it and so was I. I know people often balk at the thought of a routine, as it sounds so Gina-Ford-strict but we do have a gentle sort of routine for the day and it works well. (Usually.)

@AliasGrape you have my absolute sympathy. I suffer with my back and have done for years.

I sort of wish my DS would just eat all day - it’s great he isn’t a greedy child but if he doesn’t want food you just can’t tempt him. He eats like a bird some days.