Trapped Toddler Parents: Surviving the summer

[Motherofmonsters]

Hi,

New thread for toddler support, ideas and general rants!

Thanks @squishymamma and @AliasGrape . Hopefully moving in a couple of weeks. A fresh start. Will be nearer to a great play park 😊

Sun gradually coming back and lighter days is lovely.

Hi everyone,

Having a crappy day today, totally overstimulated and the kids have just been pure chaos. DD woke up at 4.30 and didn't go back to sleep.
We went to my brothers this morning all okay and then it just descended into chaos. At MIL trying to have a cup of coffee and they were running around, pulling everything out, bouncing on beds. Granted they were playing together but it was hard work admittedly I should have intercepted more but I'm just too tired and done with it all if I'm honest. I've basically just cried since coming home, couldn't even sit and eat dinner with them. DD is asleep already and DS is in the bath still being chaotic.

I hope it's calmer tomorrow and I have more sleep. At the moment I just want to walk out the door and not come back. I never would but the thought is still there.

Hope everyone is having more success than me

@Motherofmonsters it’s awful when you just want a moment to have a cup of coffee and you can’t even have that.

I remember days like those. I do think it gets easier as they get older and can listen and be reasoned with/bribed more!

@Motherofmonsters that sounds like such a hard day. I hope you got some more sleep last night and gave a calmer time today.

Can you get some time out for yourself at all? I know it’s not always doable!

@Motherofmonsters hope you are feeling a bit better? Sorry it was such a crappy day. Hopefully yesterday was better?

Is anyone on half term yet? Next week for us here.

Not much to report from here, slowly getting over the sinusitis. It's lovely and bright today, still cold but bright, that definitely helps.

How is everyone's sleep doing? Not doing too badly here at the moment, still up early but not too bad.

Thanks everyone. Feeling much better now, I think I need a bit of a breakdown every now and again. Clear it all out and then start again.

We're on half term here, Monday we met up with a friend in the park and managed zero fallings out between kids and then to MIL for dinner.
Tuesday DS had swim therapy and we went down to my mum's. Mostly was okay but DS did not want to listen at Therapy. He actually did some proper drawing and attempted writing after so it must have worked.
Today we went for a walk with my sister in the woods, the 45min walk turned into 3 hours as they were playing. DS had literal mud timelines on his legs when we got back. A few fallings out but nothing major.

I've banned YouTube again, DS just wants to watch things that aren't quite appropriate. Also he started calling me Bro so had to draw the line there.

I hope everyone is having a good week.

@Motherofmonsters calling you 'bro'! Sorry I did giggle at that. We have also stopped YouTube and have done since last year, ds1 kept saying 'what the hell" in an American style. I actually prefer it without YouTube silly videos, I don't think they are missing them either at all. He's all about pokemon cards now.
Ds1 has a disco after school tonight.

That posted too soon! Both ds1 and 2 are on half term next week. Plan is to be outside as much as possible. No doubt I'll be on here moaning about my falling patience levels by Tuesday!!

How is everyone? Xx

Glad things are a bit better @Motherofmonsters - I did laugh at calling you ‘bro’ too.

DD has a bunny she’s obsessed with, she has no interest in dolls but she calls this bunny her baby, wraps him up, feeds him etc. She now insists on being called Mummy because ‘I’m Bunny’s mummy’ and this has led to her calling me Nana, including in public. As an older mum anyway I’m not particularly appreciating it I have to say!

Im out of patience and a bit grumpy this week, and we’re having more challenging behaviours than normal (although in the main she’s pretty good) - I’m not sure which came first it’s a chicken and egg thing really, whether I’m grumpy because she’s pushing boundaries, or she’s acting up a bit because I’m grumpy. Either way, we need a bit of a reset I think! Need to go back to my more positive strategies again.

Half term here next week too, childminder is working on one of the days but have to cover the others, plus no groups on my non work days so will have to come up with other ways to fill our time. We’ve been doing loads of play centres, play cafes, soft play etc etc lately and it usually involves buying lunch out too so when you add it up costs a fortune. Need to go back to the park - I just find it so bloody boring which is awful of me but true!

How is everyone doing? Its gone quiet on here!

We got through half term and I've been busy this week with a new work contract. Dh has been away with work and I've survived the week by mostly bribing the boys with treats.

Hope everyone is OK.

Hi!

Yeah, it’s been a lot here recently. Today we got the message that chickenpox is going round in nursery…usually I’d be happy about this but we have a wedding in the UK next weekend so I’m stressing that they’ll get sick either just before or while we’re there and I don’t fancy dealing with chickenpox in a hotel room…

Otherwise DS2 is becoming really difficult atm, he’s now 14 months and is already a terrible 2…he’s been waking up for party time at 2am almost every night and is just screaming and wanting milk whenever we get home from work/nursery so I think he’s working on dropping a nap. But man it’s hard!

I don’t know how I’d survive without treats in those situations @Chocolatetrifle. And lots of TV!

Hi all,

it really has gone quiet hasn’t it?! Hope all is ok. Well done on surviving a week solo @Chocolatetrifle - bribery with treats is my go to too!

@squishymamma - hope you’ve escaped the pox. When’s the wedding?

We have had a very up and down few weeks really. Sleep got so much better and then went suddenly and inexplicably so much worse - like waking up almost hourly, needing lots of shushing and cuddling to get back to sleep and going back to only wanting me and getting quite hysterical about it if her dad tried to go in. She only woke up twice last night and went off again quickly both times, once for me and once for DH so hopefully things improving again but who knows!

A couple of weekends ago we had a night away for my cousin’s big birthday party. DD was meant to go to my in laws but they were ill (and only told us like 30 mins before we were due to leave) with what has turned out to be Covid. Was all set (and sad) to go on my own but luckily my (adult) niece who was supposed to be working said she had swapped shifts anyway so DD could go there. I was really worried how it might go as she has never spent the night with anyone other than DH or I before, but it was fine. She had a ball with her ‘cousins’ (niece’s daughters are 8 and 5), did a pretty good impression of a perfect sleeper and generally wasn’t too fussed about coming home the next day. It did DH and I the world of good to have a night to ourselves, big comfy hotel bed and no toddler waking us up. I had far too much to drink and felt like death the next day but it was fun.

Hi Everyone!

Sorry Ive dropped off! It's been crazy here, we've had AWOL employees. DS's TA left, they've tried to get him in in the afternoons and it kicked off again so he's back to mornings. He's had Impetigo this week as well which has been just wonderful.
We've found some land for sale so we've taken the plunge to put our house on the market to build a house. My house was an absolute state so we've spent the last weekends and minutes of the days trying to get it ready. We had our photos on Tuesday so waiting to see what they're like.

I hope everyone is okay and hopefully we can get the thread going again.

@Motherofmonsters I can’t believe you’re planning on building a house! How exciting! Do you have everything ready to go?

Yeah for us also everything has just been going wrong. We had to leave DS2 behind for this wedding because he was sick, then DH got it, and now I’m feeling rubbish. Early night I think.

Definitely would like to get the thread going again, I will post when my head stops banging…have a good Friday eve!

Happy Mother’s Day all!

Would be lovely to get the thread going again.

Ive just had breakfast in bed, a homemade card (done at childminders) and decorated jar also done there, and some chocolate. DD then proceeded to eat about a third of my breakfast, half of the chocolate and has now ditched me in favour of watching Puffin Rock downstairs.

DH and I had a real ‘come to Jesus‘ discussion about the state of our relationship and constant low-level bickering yesterday, we’ve both been finding it so draining but don’t seem to be able to help ourselves. Things feel better already, when we work we really work - we just need to try and stay on the same team!

Hope things have settled/ improved a bit for everyone.

Oh no @squishymamma I hope you are all feeling better now. What rubbish timing with the wedding.

Your morning minus the food stealing sounds lovely @AliasGrape. I'm glad you and DH have been able to have a proper conversation and get on the same team. It's so easy to drift apart.

Today is going okay, DH took DS to rugby this morning and I went with DD to see my mum. We've then come to PIL for a big roast dinner, they are playing games with the kids and DH is snoring on the sofa. I'm hiding in the corner hoping I'm not required.

Me and DH had a falling out earlier, he's working all the time so I've sped tidied the house for the pictures and now we can't find his stuff. My argument is he shouldn't leave it lying around for me to lose, his argument is he's working all day so I should have the house in order. Forgetting I'm also doing work and I pretty much have DS at home all the time.

Hope everyone has a good afternoon

Ha just found the belt we fell out about earlier, in his overnight bag that he went away with a couple weeks ago

Agree it sounds like a lovely Mothers Day @AliasGrape and I’m glad you had a chat with your DH, think we need to do that too - we’ve both become really negative lately due to stress and constant sickness and a 15mo who just screams a lot. It really brings the house atmosphere down but as you say it’s almost like we can’t help ourselves. I guess we just need to make an effort to be a bit more positive!

@Motherofmonsters oh no typical! Hope you had a good rest of your day.

I’m still sick but slowly getting better now, terrible cold. DS1 had his very first birthday party today, he’s 3, and it was the first time he realised other children could get lots of gifts to open while he didn’t get any. Felt really bad for him!

Will write more when I feel better, have a good night all.

Hi everyone, I'm still here too and up for the thread continuing too although I no longer have toddlers. Crazy to think it was 2 years ago I first joined this thread. It really helped me, it was company, a place to vent, a place to chat. I really felt we were all there to support each other.
I've been busy as I've started a new job working from home part-time, it's going OK and I'm fitting it in when ds2 is at preschool and ds1 at school. Ds2 only goes 3 times a week. I think it's something I could do more hours for when ds2 starts school.

I have decided to start doing mind puzzles, more reading etc once the boys are in bed and to do more self-care whatever that really is. I should really invest more time into my relationship with dh but we seem to have a quick conversation and then I'll go to bed. Not quite sure how to get the passion back as it were because I seem to have zero interest in a physical relationship. We dont have date nights, outings together witbout the boys. It's a bit sad that really isn't it? I just can't be bothered! Im 43 soon and wondering if its my age, falling hornones etc. That's my homework I guess and I must try harder!!

Tell me all your news. Hope you are all well?
How is the house sale/land purchase @Motherofmonsters

hope you feel better @Squishy Cant believe your ds2 is 15 months now!

How are you getting on @Aliasgrape?

Congratulations on the new job @Chocolatetrifle that's great you can fit it around the boys.
I keep thinking I need to do more self-care in the evenings as well. At the moment I just chuck the TV on and eat all the snacks.

We've had our pictures of the house taken just want to make a few changes to the write up but haven't got around to it yet. DH is still working every minute and I've been feeling really ill so I've been going to bed straight away.

Anyone got anything nice planned for the weekend. I don't have anything planned in yet, I'm hoping the weather improves.

Congratulations on the job @Chocolatetrifle , that’s good that it fits around the boys.

I like the self care idea too, I struggle massively with it. I’m trying to read more as it’s something I miss most from my pre-child life, but tend to end up scrolling my phone a bit then passing out asleep at a ridiculously early hour.

Sorry you’ve been feeling ill still @Motherofmonsters , hope you feel better.

The relationship thing is …. Well the big conversation wasn’t exactly a magic cure. Work in progress I guess. I know exactly what you mean about struggling to make time @Chocolatetrifle - I went out for early dinner/ late lunch with a friend yesterday. Was the first time I’d been dressed nicely in a while, hair done and make up on etc. DH didn’t see it as he’d taken DD out before I left, but on the way home I was thinking it would be nice to get home, DD in bed, maybe we could have a drink together or watch something together or just have a nice chat - I’d text him I was on my way home and when I got back (at 8.30pm) he’d gone to bed. Can’t blame him - if he’s knackered he’s knackered and god knows I’m a fan of an early night these days, but it felt a bit crap and lonely.

DD’s behaviour is really really testing at the moment - lots of tantrums, really emotional and lots of hitting and kicking which we’ve never had before and I don’t really think I’m dealing with very well. I’ve read the books/ followed the ‘experts’ but I still struggle to know when I’m getting kicked and smacked as she tries to launch herself out of the supermarket trolley in the middle of Sainsbury’s. She’s really not been well the last week and had a cough keeping her up most nights, so I’m hoping at least some of it is tiredness and she might be less of a monster once that has settled down.

@AliasGrape it's really difficult when the tantrums are in public, but it really dies happen to us all.

Hope you enjoyed your lunch out anyway.

@Motherofmonsters hope you are feeling better?

We had a decent day yesterday, swimming lesson then out at a national trust place.

This morning we all went swimming, ds1 kept jumping in, swallowed too much water and started heaving in the pool. I lifted him out and rushed to the changing rooms where he got sick on the floor, it was mortifying but at least not in the pool, imagine how awful that would have been. I'm not a fan of swimming pools anyway but go for the kids and that just made me dislike them even more and its my own son!! It's not a bug as he's been fine, think just too much water. Still completely gross.

Dh is off watching rugby this afternoon so I'm taking boys out with a friend and I'm.
cooking her tea.

It’s hard having toddlers for sure. Solidarity to all of you going through hard times.

I’m doing my usual Sunday at the park. It’s been raining but the kids don’t seem to feel the cold and have refused their coats! They always moan about going but then seem to love it when they get here. Since moving house it’s only a five minute walk away which is amazing.

My eldest has just had his ASD diagnosis from the NHS, which has taken years and many assessments so feels like an achievement. He is much easier now than as a toddler but the mood swings and anger are hard at times.

I've been on this thread a bit but I'd like to try and join in again. Youngest is now 2 and is absolutely lovely but will also suddenly decide it's funny to run around where she shouldn't, throw her plate, yank hair etc. And she and DS (5) seem determined to wind each other up a lot of the time. And despite reading parent books, my patience levels when they do that are absolutely appalling. So that's fun.

Today was a mini steam train with playgrounds at either end which worked pretty well for everyone. Though did completely mess up DDs naptime so she was still awake for ages. Luckily she sits and chats to herself/her toys in her cot or looks at a book so it's not completely disrupting everyone else, but still not ideal.

@Motherofmonsters @AliasGrape @Chocolatetrifle Been trying to work on self care too because I kept having evenings that were hours on mumsnet and loads of snacks. I've been trying to track my time this week and having to write stuff down did help with more purposeful evenings - bit of reading, board game with DH, programme I actually wanted to watch etc. But still feel like I'm rubbish at doing useful things after kids are in bed, I know everyone's tired but I'm so shit at doing things after a certain time.

Hello hello, I’m finally feeling somewhat normal again…

Congrats on the new job @Chocolatetrifle and congrats on the diagnosis for your DS @Stayingstrongish! Hope it helps him get the help and recognition he needs.

I also need to be better at self care, atm my nights consist of sitting in a dark room next to DS2 while he sleeps because if he wakes and we’re not there he screams blue murder. Sometimes he does it even when we’re there. The best ones are in the middle of the night where you’re jolted out of sleep and you think someone’s dying before you realise it’s your toddler angry he’s confined to a cage crib.

Another thing I need to get a hold on is my snacking while working, I have a very office based job and I’ve discovered chocolate covered hazelnuts and yoghurt nuts are my absolute weakness. I’m devouring them and they’re bloody expensive here, I paid well over £10 for a box (it was relatively heavy though) but they didn’t last long. Plus I’ve noticed my belly is way more protruding than it was. Keep telling myself I just need to hand in this thesis and then I’ll be healthier…

Hope everyone has an okay sleep and the clocks changing didn’t turn your DC into nightmares (did here)