I think I've got body dysmorphia. Wedding in 35 days and I feel AWFUL in my dress

[itsoneofthosethings]

As the title says, really.
I think I've finally come to terms with the fact I've got body dysmorphia.

I just went to my dress fitting today, with my seamstress. I loved the dress I've bought when I last tried it on! But today all I could see was fat and faults. My arms looked huge, my back was bulging out.. I had a weird area around my stomach where it was bulging out the dress.

No matter how many people tell me it looks lovely, I just can't see it let alone FEEL it.

I'm so not looking forward to my wedding, because I'm not looking forward to how I will look and how I'll feel.

I had weight loss surgery February this year, and am 6 stone down so far. For some reason I feel like I was so much happier before? Although I wasn't, and I was unhealthy.. I'm struggling to come to terms with how I look now.

I just can't stop crying 😢

OP you look fantastic. Don't add anything else other than a big dollop of self-confidence. Enjoy the wedding. xx

Like others have said, your weight loss is such an achievement. Revel in it! Enjoy your body and new appearance!

What I see: you have a beautiful shape and fantastic dress. It’s flattering, particularly at the waist! Your overall silhouette is balanced and proportionate. A fine hourglass.

Congratulations on your marriage!!

Oh you look gorgeous!! I'm not just saying that either! The dress looks great on you.

I honestly think it's just your arms are not in a natural position for the photographs particularly the one of the back your arms seem very rigid.

Having worked in bridal places in the past that do alterations I can also suggest that you have normal fitting session disappointment going on.

Many, many women pick the dress and then, quite naturally, usually day-dream a little about it.

So the fitting(s) closer to the wedding are reality clashing a little bit with the day-dream.

Because we are enjoying how we feel in the day-dream rather than being faced with a full on mirror, someone poking about with pins/tape measure, maybe feeling sweaty/rushed to get to appointment or stressed thinking of all the wedding bits still to be done etc

On the day itself you will be getting ready, taking your time, enjoying family/friends, and walking down the aisle to the one you love - not a mirror!

I wanted to add this in because it was a very normal occurrence and why it can be tricky being a wedding alteration maker and so you are not unusual at all in having a ‘let-down’ feeling at a fitting.

You look lovely now and will, even more so, on the day itself. I hope you have a wonderful time then & an even better marriage afterwards

Look at your photo and pretend it's not you. Pretend it's a dear friend. What would you say to her??

I know that you can do something about this little by little, over time if you want to and eventually you'll be as kind and celebratory of yourself as you would another woman.

When I saw the post title I expected to see something atrocious but FAR FAR from it! You look beautiful, seriously! Be proud of how far you've come. Xx

It's not about the dress!
You know it's about your head space.
Well meaning as they are 1000 x you look great won't work - it's a bit like telling someone with fear of flying that it's fine and there's nothing to be scared of.

• anxiety is an irrational bitch

-your anxiety is lying to you.

• Choose a person you trust to be honest - you really trust to be honest
• ask them to talk through the dress with you and look for any real issues and get solutions to as many as you can .
• vow to trust them and NOT your head voice
• get to work on some online anxiety reduction techniques and start positive affirmations asap.
• you deserve to be happy and love yourself

These will help short term but long term please get support for the huge transition you are undergoing and try and be kind to yourself.
Remember everyone there on that day loves you and its your joy they want to share and remember ✨️

I think you look lovely. You'll always get that little bulge at the armpit/boob because it's strapless and it has to be a bit tight to stay up but everyone has that, even at size 6 unless you're literally a skeleton. No one notices that. It's just because you're anxious and looking for faults.

The dress really suits you, you look beautiful.

💯

My first thought was 'wow', you look stunning!

OP, you look lovely. Women are constantly bombarded with photoshopped pics that are unachievable, all to make us feel bad about ourselves so we buy more clothes/ cosmetics/ diet products etc. Forget all that, you look fab! The bride always looks beautiful in my opinion. Losing weight for health reasons is fine, but rest assured you look fab in the dress already :)

I’m wondering whether you said yes to that dress, or a different dress, and how you felt on your big day @itsoneofthosethings?