I think I've got body dysmorphia. Wedding in 35 days and I feel AWFUL in my dress

[itsoneofthosethings]

As the title says, really.
I think I've finally come to terms with the fact I've got body dysmorphia.

I just went to my dress fitting today, with my seamstress. I loved the dress I've bought when I last tried it on! But today all I could see was fat and faults. My arms looked huge, my back was bulging out.. I had a weird area around my stomach where it was bulging out the dress.

No matter how many people tell me it looks lovely, I just can't see it let alone FEEL it.

I'm so not looking forward to my wedding, because I'm not looking forward to how I will look and how I'll feel.

I had weight loss surgery February this year, and am 6 stone down so far. For some reason I feel like I was so much happier before? Although I wasn't, and I was unhealthy.. I'm struggling to come to terms with how I look now.

I just can't stop crying 😢

I remember your first thread.

It is brilliant that you have lost the weight but I’m not sure that dress is as flattering as it could be, especially around the upper back. Could you get some sleeves or a shrug added?

To be fair, strapless dresses don’t flatter the vast majority of women!

You look stunning. The dress is beautiful and fits you perfectly. I hope you have an amazing day!

Have you posted before? I think I commented on your other thread.

Your dress is lovely and it fits you well.

I remember your previous post and this dress is definitely much more classic and flattering than the other one.

You do not look big at all. I think every bride is highly critical of themselves at fittings. My mother took photos of me whilst I tried mine on and I honestly look miserable and angsty in them where I am critiquing myself in the mirror. Even looking at wedding photos I was hung up over tiny details of how I looked (my hair wasn't quite right etc).

Don't be so hard on yourself - you look great in that dress! Enjoy your day x

P.s OP please don't do this.

I agree with the PP who said you are looking at the wrong bits. Instead of 'is this bit quite right?, 'is there a bit of a bulge here?' the whole point of a wedding dress is the overall impression.

Walk in, head held high, and there will be an intake of breath (or may be an awed silence!) as the overall impression of you in that dress is quite stunningly beautiful. Watch your fiancé's face - that will be a clearer reflection of the effect than any mirror.

But if you feel a bit bulgy, you have 35 days to shed a pound or two if you think that will make you feel a bit better. Don't lose too much or the gorgeous effect will be diminished. And have a couple of low carb weeks just before - carbs can make you feel a bit bloated. Although you look better than you feel, it's normal to want to feel as good as you can as well.

Don't add sleeves, or a shrug or whatever else people are suggesting. This is not the type of dress that can get away with having those added and they will not improve the look or how you feel in any way. This style of dress looks great on you!

You look stunning. Please don’t add a shrug- the dress looks perfect as it is. (I do understand the urge- I’m constantly sticking a cardigan on over things if I’m feeling unconfident- but it never looks right.)

I think it's mainly pre wedding nerves. Before my wedding I went on a few wedding forums, and people suddenly thinking they looked horrible in a dress they previously loved was extremely common. They called it dress regret and it seemed like half the people on there ended up buying another dress. I think comes from feeling anxious about the day. So I can assure you this feeling is nothing unusual and probably doesn't indicate any disorder. If anything it's more common than not to feel this way.

I just keep trying to remind myself of how I felt the first time I put the dress on. I know I don't have the perfect figure etc but I felt really pretty for once in my life.
I think I really beat myself down.. I hate that about me but I have always struggled with my self confidence since very young!

One more pic I've found from this evening from the dress alterations meeting
..

Because the dress is ‘simple’ ie no lace or frills, it gives it a sleek elegant look that is very very lovely.

Thank you all so much for making me feel a little better tonight. I'm going to bed much less upset 🥹🙂 and ready to contact some therapists tomorrow to discuss my body image and self esteem. Thank you all x

OP honestly you look great.
You don't need to lose any more weight.
You don't need to wear a shrug.

Enjoy your wedding and your own fabulousness.

All I can see is a shapely figure and beautiful smooth tanned skin. No need to cover up anything.

You look lovely op. I think we are getting married on the same day 😊 good luck

The dress is absolutely lovely and really suits you. I like the simplicity of the design and it will be really set off by a stunning bouquet.

It's a very elegant dress and you look lovely. There's really no need for extra shrugs and cover ups.

When you look at other women who are dressed well and have confidence, what do you notice about them? Do you see them as a whole or do you home in on their imperfect bits?

I admire anybody that's dressed beautifully and shining with confidence, I'd never pick apart anybody else.. but when it comes to me I'm terrible 😣

OP I mean this in the nicest possible way-I remember your first thread and your biggest mistake was posting that as I remember in that post you were so excited/happy about this dress.

I did think there were a handful of comments that were downright stupid and quite cruel but said in a disingenuous way as if they were ‘helping’ you. I felt so sorry for you as I could see your confidence as you kept posting in you/your dress crumpling. I wish I’d posted on that thread but I saw it quite late.

So glad you are getting a more realistic audience this time and for what it’s worth I think it’s beautiful and fits you perfectly, as latest pic just shows. Well done on your amazing weight loss too.

You look so beautiful

@itsoneofthosethings if it’s not too personal could you tell me what dress size you’re wearing now (in normal clothes, not wedding dresses), as I’m very big, and dieting, but the size you are is exactly what I’m aiming for. I’ve no idea about small sizes only the ones that begin with a 3 (I’m VERY big)

You look amazing. I’ve heard it takes a long time for your head to catch up with your body though. Well done with your weight loss 🎉🎉

@OhFatty thank you so much, that's so kind. I'm sure you're absolutely gorgeous!!!
I started off at a size 24/26 and am now fitting into high street 16 x

Oh wow you look beautiful OP! Such a flattering dress.

You look absolutely beautiful in the dress. Down the road when you have engaged with therapists and worked on your body image issues you will look back at your wedding photos and think "Bloody hell, I was gorgeous!"

It's the same dress, @AWobABobBob. Perhaps the photos on the other thread were not as flattering as the photos on this thread.