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Original poster

I think I've got body dysmorphia. Wedding in 35 days and I feel AWFUL in my dress

138 replies

itsoneofthosethings · 05/08/2022 19:19

As the title says, really.
I think I've finally come to terms with the fact I've got body dysmorphia.

I just went to my dress fitting today, with my seamstress. I loved the dress I've bought when I last tried it on! But today all I could see was fat and faults. My arms looked huge, my back was bulging out.. I had a weird area around my stomach where it was bulging out the dress.

No matter how many people tell me it looks lovely, I just can't see it let alone FEEL it.

I'm so not looking forward to my wedding, because I'm not looking forward to how I will look and how I'll feel.

I had weight loss surgery February this year, and am 6 stone down so far. For some reason I feel like I was so much happier before? Although I wasn't, and I was unhealthy.. I'm struggling to come to terms with how I look now.

I just can't stop crying 😢

OP posts:
Dionysius · 05/08/2022 19:45

Beautiful! So flattering and elegant😍

Mandofan · 05/08/2022 19:46

You look beautiful!

Namechangenoidea · 05/08/2022 19:49

Honestly I’m not just saying this to make you feel better, but you really do look amazing. It fits like a glove you have no bulging bits. I think it’s the perfect dress for you.

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Weddings
greywinds · 05/08/2022 19:52

It's lovely, no bulging bits at all. Sympathies - the closer I got to my wedding, the worse I felt about the whole thing, it's all the stress. 6 stone is amazing!!

Tittyfilarious81 · 05/08/2022 19:52

I don't see what you see , I think it's fits perfectly and you look beautiful in it .

Cruisebabe · 05/08/2022 19:53

itsoneofthosethings · 05/08/2022 19:21

I did write a post about whether or not I should buy the dress recently. I loved it in the shop, I felt so happy.

Now all I see are faults. I feel horrible. How do I get over this?! What do I do?

Do I look awful?

You look lovely.

Original poster
itsoneofthosethings · 05/08/2022 20:05

I just feel like I'm bursting out of it. I liked it in the shop but tonight when trying with my seamstress (no alterations yet) I felt awful. I was trying to fight back the years as I didn't want to appear rude

OP posts:
Jesusmaryjosephandtheweedon · 05/08/2022 20:06

Honestly and not just saying this to make you feel better but your dress is stunning and absolutely perfect for you. It cinches in all the right places and gives you the perfect silhouette.

People on MN can be ruthless and every post I've read here has said you look fab. MN doesn't lie.

You do look fabulous. You are going to have the best day because you are marrying the man you love and your photos are going to look fabulous.

Congratulations on your weightloss. And congratulations on your upcoming nuptials.

IamupInSpaceMan · 05/08/2022 20:12

You do look rather wonderful op, but if you feel uncomfortable then pp suggestion of a wrap or lacey overtop might make you feel more confident/comfortable.

By the way, if you don't mind saying, what sort of weight loss surgery was it.. it's obviously worked very well.

shedwithivy · 05/08/2022 20:12

You look beautiful, really you do.

Notthecarwashagain · 05/08/2022 20:13

You look beautiful.

It’s so normal to have this last minute dress stress. It’s a lot of pressure knowing that you’ll be looked at all day!

You honestly do look gorgeous.

Scarydinosaurs · 05/08/2022 20:13

Your mind hasn’t caught up with your body. Can you book some talking therapy to work with a therapist through your issues? Do you have it already in place as part of the surgery/in the run up? If you already have a therapist, can you contact him/her to talk about it?

FWIW I think seeking validation from strangers will give you a short term reassurance, but what you need is help with seeing your body differently yourself, and working on how you detach your value from what you look like.

As someone who also has had body dysmorphia in the past I really don’t say that likely! Therapy is hard and it’s a lot of work - but I think that’s the solution.

Good luck and I hope you have an amazing wedding day.

GorgeousGoldies · 05/08/2022 20:13

I honestly think you look fantastic in that dress - your waist looks amazing!

The only thing I would do it to wear a statement necklace to break up the neck area a little. But I would suggest that to anyone of any size!

Congratulations on your marriage ave weight loss - have the most wonderful day.

awwbiscuits · 05/08/2022 20:14

You do look beautiful.

But I do understand the feeling. I can hardly bear to look at myself most days!

Wigeon · 05/08/2022 20:14

Agree with everyone - classy, elegant, dress fits brilliantly and gives you a lovely figure/shape. Really suits you. I can’t see any weird bulges at all.

Pallisers · 05/08/2022 20:18

You look absolutely gorgeous in it. If I didn't think that, I just wouldn't post anything. stunning.

I think your discomfort is because you are showing off your (lovely) shape and it is the kind of dress that people are going to look at. My dd has this issue. She needs to lose a couple of stone maybe although she looks lovely as she is but has always struggled with her weight really. Normally she dresses baggy and tries to hide herself and it does nothing for her. She came downstairs recently in tight nice black leggings and a lovely lilac sweatshirt that fit her - she looked stunning - but found it uncomfortable.

MumE78 · 05/08/2022 20:20

Wowzers
I think you look bloody stunning 😍
All brides I think have a wobble about their dresses
If your not 💯 about the dress then go and try some others on, you still have time

SuperlativeOxymoron · 05/08/2022 20:21

I remember your thread earlier this week about the dress. I think it's beautiful, it fits you perfectly and you look stunning in it!

We always see our own faults above anything else, and I know hundreds of people telling you, that you look lovely and the dress is gorgeous, probably doesn't make you change your mind. But honestly it is and you do!

Your arms aren't huge.
Your back isn't bulging.
I don't see what your talking about in the stomach area, the dress fits your perfectly.

Like a pp said if you feel you need a cover-up, see if your seamstress can pull something together for you, but I genuinely don't think you need it.

Have a wonderful wedding day!

Chesneyhawkes1 · 05/08/2022 20:21

I think you look beautiful in it, but if you don't feel beautiful can you change it?

I bought a dress for my wedding, 3 days before I realised I didn't feel nice in it and so ended up getting one I did feel right in.

Antarcticant · 05/08/2022 20:22

You look stunning and not at all as though you are bursting out of the dress. Your skin looks smooth and toned. Well done on your amazing weight loss!

Cherryana · 05/08/2022 20:27

I agree with everyone - you look beautiful. Also on the day - you will have the 'bride glow' which will make you the most beautiful woman in the world!

However, psychologically you are going through/have been through a massive change in all sorts of ways - your body, your mind, your relationships to food, your relationship with yourself and others. Please use this to look in at all that - rather than fixating on your perception. This could be counselling or joining a group with others who have gone through weight loss surgery, if you are not doing those things already.

Squiff70 · 05/08/2022 20:30

You look beautiful, and on your wedding day you should feel like a fairy princess. It's really sad that at the moment, you don't.

If I was to change one thing very slightly, it would be the bust. It looks a little bit tight in the last photo and that might not even need a dress alteration - maybe just a different bra? Otherwise it's perfect.

There will be alsorts of little tweaks which can be made to help you feel better about your appearance. You've done so well to lose the weight and you should celebrate that.

Your wedding is about you and your husband (or wife) to be. They adore you for who you are, not the shape you are. Your family and friends will think you look stunning and I hope in time you'll see that too.

HappyBinosaur · 05/08/2022 20:37

You look lovely. No bulging bits!
I think strapless dresses do sometimes look like people are bulging out of the top but you do NOT look like that! It’s a very good fit xx

CallOnMe · 05/08/2022 20:39

Wow you look so beautiful OP!!
Your dress is absolutely gorgeous and fits you so well!

If you are really struggling then I’d consider going lower carb until the wedding because you lose lots of water weight and feel less bloated.

Karatema · 05/08/2022 20:40

Oh my, you look amazing! Such a beautiful shape. Hold your chin high and go for it. You will rock your special day 😀

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