First lines of classic novels if no-one had childcare

[cariadlet]

Here's a few to get us started.
lithub.com/first-lines-of-classic-novels-if-no-one-had-childcare/,

link doesn't work

link doesn't work

It works for me.

Rogue comma in the link in the OP. This should work. lithub.com/first-lines-of-classic-novels-if-no-one-had-childcare/

lithub.com/first-lines-of-classic-novels-if-no-one-had-childcare/

Jane Eyre-

There was no possibility of taking a walk that day. Thank Christ for CBeebies.

Trainspotting-

The sweat wis lashing oafay Sick Boy; he wis trembling. Yet still an hour to go before he can have another spoonful of Calpol, ffs.

Last night I dreamt I went to soft play again. And again. And again.

I liked those! Here are a few.

Goldfinger: James Bond, with two double bourbons inside him, sat in the final departure lounge of Miami Airport and thought about life and death, while his feral children raced up and down screaming and tripping other passengers up.

Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas: We were somewhere around Barstow on the edge of the desert when the drugs began to take hold and the kid's travel sickness was finally under control, but by that time the interior of the hire car was a disaster zone.

Metamorphosis: As Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from uneasy dreams he found himself transformed in his bed into a gigantic insect. 'What the hell, kids!' he bellowed, 'This isn't what packing tape is for! Go and get the scissors. We all have to be out of here in half an hour.'

Aargh! Not sure how I managed that. Thanks for posting the correct link.

A Tale of Two Cities
“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of light, it was the season of darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair.” It was the summer holidays

1984
It was a bright, cold day in April and the clocks were striking thirteen.
WHAT!!! What have I told you about playing with mummy's alarm clock? Now I'm late for work, where's my shoes, clean your teeth. No, you can't have ice cream for breakfast. I don't care if teddy is feeling sick, get your book bag and get in the car!

A tale of two cities
It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.
Yes, mummy does love your model of the Eiffel Tower. Yes, it does look wonderful. But did you have to build it with mud? On the living room carpet? 5 mins before our dinner guests arrive!

😂

Brighton Rock: Hale knew, before he had been in Brighton three hours, that they meant to murder him. The roller skate on the stairs was the first clue. Now they were trying to get him to drink a concoction of fallen rose petals and milk. He cursed the day he had so thoughtlessly agreed to look after his sister's three-year-old twins for the morning.

Emma Woodhouse, handsome, clever and rich, with a comfortable home and happy disposition seemed to unite some of the best blessings of existence and had lived nearly twenty-one years in the world with very little to distress or vex her. Then she gave birth.

When Mr Bilbo Baggins of Bag End announced that he would shortly be celebrating his eleventyifirst birthday with a party of special magnificence, there was much talk and excitement in Hobbiton.

Do you think he's invited the whole class?
Will there be vegan options - little Ermentrude can only eat organic, fairtrade hand-made items
Would it be unreasonable to bring all my children? It's so sad if one of them is left out.
It's best for all if my Jocasta is allowed to win at games, she's very highly strung!
Are parents invited?

The Raven
Once upon a midnight dreary, as I pondered weak and weary,
Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore
While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,
As of someone gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door.
'I can't sleep, Mum! I want a drink of water. Mum! MUM!!'

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife. Because it is also a truth, that a parent must be available when the childcare fails, and this responsibility will naturally fall to the fairer sex.

When shall we three meet again
In thunder, lightning, or in rain?

First week of September it shall be
Outside yon classroom door at three thirtee.

Two households, both alike in dignity,
In the Night Garden, where we lay our scene,
The Pontipines who live in red proximity
To Wottingers, in shades of blue marine.
From forth the Garden, Ninky Nonk breaks free.
All parents would this vile sound expunge,
Whose misadventured turning-on TV
Concludes with Makka Pakka’s minging sponge.

Brava @Richenda

Your ones are all better than the ones in the link, brilliant.

These are fantastic!

Clever MNers - I couldn't come up with anything as good 👏👏👏👏

Love the 1984 one 😂

The morning burned so August-hot, the marsh's moist breath hung the oaks and pines with fog. The palmetto patches stood unusually quiet except for the low, slow flap of the heron's wings lifting from the lagoon , and the basketball, bouncing its ever relentless bounce, below the window.

Where the Crawdads Sing

@Richenda I’m applauding wildly!

These are way better than the link!