Stupidest bollockings you’ve had at work?

[TimeAtTheBar]

I got called into a meeting with my bosses boss yesterday to address a complaint from a member of my team that I had disappeared off for half an hour last weekend.

…I took just half an hour of my one hour paid break and left another manager in charge.

Apart from the fact I am SO DONE with this particular job, this could have easily been resolved without a face to face meeting which I found intimidating and overkill.

To make me feel better, tell me about your stupid or unfair bollockings please; because I am still raging about it a day later.

Pulled in and ranted at to find that the incident had happened on my day off but was in my room... nothing to do with me. Person looked really stupid, had then spilt lots of secure info. No apology ever

@girlmom21 I'd have had a lot more respect for her if she did! 😄

I got in trouble for walking too slowly when I was an apprentice, we were in an open plan office and apparently it made it look like our department didn’t have enough to do 😂

I also once got in trouble for informing a customer that I had left my position as their contact and signposting them to the correct contact, I had already told them but they had forgotten. Apparently I should have ignored the email and the new contact would have eventually got around to introducing themselves because it’s bad customer service… what would they call ignoring a customer query then!

Just remembered another one where I ended up in a disciplinary!

Left home at 5.30 am for a very important meeting in our London office. I live in the North. Meeting was scheduled for 9am.

Still sat waiting for said meeting at 1pm. This was before the days of laptops and the internet so I literally was wasting time. I said to the secretary at the desk, if said boss isn't here by 2.30pm I'm getting the train back. I want to be home by 6pm, been on the go since 5.30am.

Anyway. No sign of said manager (literally despised her anyway - the worst person i have ever had the misfortune to work for) so I walked out - to a load of screaming behind me of, omg you can't just walk out etc etc.

Said I was in a disciplinary for not completing my work hours.

Apparently I was expected to do 8hrs of train travelling in my own time.

Food teacher?

A good few years ago, I was between jobs so took a contracting position with an IT support company.

I was sent out with a team of others to do an upgrade rollout in a production plant.

We were there nights and weekends so we wouldn't be in anyone's way while we worked and had to be on again first thing again the following day to troubleshoot any issues.

All went well and 99% of the staff were understanding and put up with us until our final week.

I was told to report to a particular office. As I headed down the corridor, I could hear a woman screaming in distress. I walked in to find everyone crowded around a desk. A woman was staring at the screen and screaming and screaming. Another woman told me that I "Must fix this mistake and fix it fast."

Screaming woman stopped screaming and rounded on me "Did you do this?" pointing at her screen. I replied that by, this, she meant upgrading her computer, then yes. So, she lunged at me and called me a fucking bastard.

My crime, I had installed the new software which had a theme in the corporate colours. This theme was deployed company-wide, no exceptions and had been flagged weeks in advance before we even came on site. This theme had replaced screaming woman's Friends-themed desktop which was the only thing that got her through her working day according to her.

I patiently explained that this was corporate policy and that she would have been on a training course for the new operating system but she replied that she was off that week in a tone that left no doubt that she chose to be off that week deliberately. I also mentioned that she would have been sent several emails, the latest sent only the week before. She denied getting the email and everyone else looked at their shoes. So I checked her inbox and 'helpfully' pointed out the email which was sitting unread in her 'Deleted Items' folder. "Oh, I never read those emails so how was I to know."

She told me she would be reporting me to my manager and to her manager and to HR at which I shrugged and went about my day.

I had to return to the office later on and her desk was empty. One of the others there told me, with a smirk, that screaming woman had gone home as she was "too upset to work."

I got in trouble for wearing trainers to work, to a call centre, where no customers/clients ever entered the office, on own clothes day.

I used to use as part of my email signature at work a quote from Thomas Rainsborough, dated to the 1640s, on universal suffrage. This was at a time when people were using all sorts of inspirational quotes - quotes from Nelson Mandela etc - so I thought the Levellers were probably a reasonable enough historical source for a civil servant.
Someone complained to my manager, and he had to bollock me.
I asked him on what grounds it was offensive, and he had no idea. He was really apologetic about it, but someone had objected, so he had to make it a thing.

Still have no clue, and neither does he.
(If you just identified me and you're the person who complained, would you message me, please? I really genuinely would like to know what's offensive about it!)

My gcse class got more A grades than predicted

I’d not been there long a few weeks and was pulled as in told to go on managers office for being a grand total of 2 minutes late .
I was 😳 when she said I need to make it up of course I will it goes without saying I said .I worked a few minutes every day past my start time.
same job few months later I ordered the stationary and supplier sent a voucher as a thank you . I didn’t know about the voucher know it was coming or get it but managing director was furious because it was classed as bribery . I pointed out that the sales team quite regularly get vouchers and bribes if you want to call it that from suppliers as incentive to order from them but that was allowed apparently because in accounts you can’t do that . Bullshit it’s because they were a load of male chauvinist men that still thinks it’s the 1970s and woman should be seen and not heard . I remember saying so let me get this correct I’m in trouble receiving a voucher that I didn’t know about nor did I get but staff in other departments regularly get them and that’s ok .
I handed my notice not long after and yet they asked why .

I was asked why a long standing, trusted volunteer had suggested that she took the takings home with her overnight during an event weekend rather than put them in the safe. I said that I had absolutely no idea why she would do that as there was a safe in the building, she had never suggested it to me, and it was not something I would ever allow. The incident happened whilst I was on maternity leave and it turned out that my cover didn’t bother supporting the volunteers and wasn’t going to be on site to collect the takings as I had always done. It was still my fault apparently.

One of many with same ridiculous manager: came back after being off ill for six weeks and was told off because I had told my friends in the office what was wrong before he’d had the chance to.

Just wrote a huge response but don’t want to post as it’s obviously me. But writing it was cathartic so thanks!!

Bollocked by a department head (health) for not attending a teams video call, that she never sent me the invite to. Then when I pointed my outlook diary and emails out to her, she still insisted and never apologised... Also bollocked me for missing out a comma in the £1000 (£1,000), plus many other ridiculous things. Left pretty swiftly.

My first boss was a bully. She took me to task, in front of everyone, for writing an email reply to an author (this was in publishing) that was far too informal and would make us look bad.

I did, at least, have reason to copy her into the author's reply where they specifically commented on how nice my email to them was.

I work on a care of the elderly ward as a health care assistant. My bay had mostly dementia patients who were wandering and at risk of falling. I had two hanging off my arms at one point and my manager comes into the bay to helpfully point out that I hadn't plugged the BP machine back in and that I was putting patients at risk by not looking after the equipment properly. All this while two elderly ladies were almost on the floor. She didn't help with the patients - obviously.

Boss was awaiting vital piece of time sensitive information to come in. When it arrived I was to give it to him immediately no matter what he was doing... OK easy enough.
Vital info arrives and boss is in a meeting, remembering my instructions, I knock politely, excused the interruption and quietly gave him the info on the note page so I didn't have to say it aloud and the other person overhear. I leave.

As soon as the meeting finishes boss comes over frothing, I should not have come into that meeting with that person (I had no idea who they were) and if he had a gun he'd shoot me. Massive rant.

He was a nasty piece of work, ex director of caudwell communications and cheating on his wife all day long at work organising hook ups online. I wasn't sorry to leave that job.

Once got told off for being three minutes late to my job. They weren’t happy when I pointed out that I’d been 15 feet away, but stuck behind THEIR wagon who’d been doing a 412 point turn.

also got told once that the boss didn’t like the way I’d parked so had to move my car. Twice. I told them after moving it the second time that if they asked me to move it again, I was getting in my car and not coming back.

same place also used to give you a bollocking if you didn’t make the boss a cup of tea each day (women only, the men didn’t have to). I only drank one coffee when I got in, about an hour before the boss did, so I started making his at the same time. Stone cold with varying amounts of sugar in, but there wasn’t anything he could say.

I got a major bollocking for helping a doctor save someone’s life, the doctor needed a second pair of hands and told me what to do. This was in theatre, i was scrubbed up. But not something which normally a non doctor would do. No other doctor available.

Major bollocking and investigation. I nearly got suspended. Went all the way to the exec board to decide if I should suspended or not. I left the nhs soon after. Fuck that shit.

Visitor asked me for a strong tea. CFO saw the tea and had a go at me for making a strong tea. No apology offered when visitor corrected him that he had asked for the strong tea.

I once had a manager who hated our team. One of the staff members in another team was too busy to do part of his job so our manager was like "my team will do it". Me and my team were forced to take on the extra duties outside of our remit.

6 months later, same manager comes in, sees us doing said task and gives us a huge telling off, saying "why are you all doing this? No one told me you were doing this. You need to keep me in the loop!".

We were all in so much awe that none of us pointed out that SHE was the one who told us to take on the duties 6 months ago. Proper gaslighting moment.

You couldn't write it!

I desperately needed to lose weight and was following a WW plan when the boss decided to put a new kitchen in the basement of the building and hire a chef to cook hot meals every lunchtime. A really great benefit for everyone but definitely nothing that would pass as a WW friendly meal. I had a chat with the chef and explained that I was on WW and he said the budget he was working to didn't allow for anything other than the meals he was doing. All fine.

It then got called into the office and was given an a absolute bollocking for not eating the meals that were being cooked. I pointed out I was on a diet and really needed to stay on plan so I could get to a healthy BMI. Boss not interested. Apparently I was totally in
the wrong.

The meals were also really expensive - even if I hadn't been on a diet I wouldn't have been able to afford them. Boss just couldn't see why he shouldn't tell me what to eat! Just absolutely bonkers! I left not long afterwards but not before I'd lost 2 stone!

Ooh oooh I’ve got one. I got told off by my team leader for not emailing in sick, because I hadn’t phoned, per the policy.
Never mind that when I had emailed (from my work phone) it was 3am and that I had, in fact, spoken to my direct line manager for a detailed handover at 9:30 the morning of the day I was off sick, thereby complying with the policy. Or that I ended up spending all of that day in bed with a temperature of 39.

I leant on the edge of the desk whilst teaching a lesson. Apparently it looked too casual and I lost a whole review grade because of it. From the same person who had commented how bad my limp was and wished me good luck with a procedure I was going to have on my injured knee...

I once got shouted at for being at work
id walked in,past the office where the boss was sat and clocked in
started doing my job-in full view and about half an hour later boss steams over,and starts shouting that nobody had seen me come in and they thought I’d done a no show
theyd plastered it all over out fb page ‘Gary’s wife!where are you?8am start!’ So everyone thought I hadn’t shown
no sorry or anything,just a rant about how nobody knew I was there-even though I was in full view
thankfully that boss left before he was pushed

the two day heatwave-I’d worked both days in a hot kitchen-I was rushed off my feet,serving customers and didn’t have time to stop for a drink
i gave a customer her order and fainted-hitting my head on the way down
the shift manager rushed over and started pulling on my arm to get me back up-in front of customers and refused to believe I hadn’t done this just to piss her off
She had to be told by about 15 angry customers that I was as white as a sheet and couldn’t just snap back and carry on
she ‘allowed’ me a full minute to sit down and started yelling at me to get back up and carry on
i vomited and told her that I was going to hospital-and I didn’t care if it pissed her off-I needed to get checked out
i did go and was fine-the heat had just got to me
she however had nothing happen (even tho I lodged a complaint) as she was the only manager on (she had only worked the one day and that was a short shift-most of it in the air conditioned office) and we where really short staffed
i ‘let the team down’ apparently
same woman,I was sexually assaulted at work on her shift-she told me I should ‘stop flirting with the lads’
the lad in question was 17-I’m 44 and I don’t flirt with anyone and even if I did,I don’t deserve that

I need a new job