Stupidest bollockings you’ve had at work?

[TimeAtTheBar]

I got called into a meeting with my bosses boss yesterday to address a complaint from a member of my team that I had disappeared off for half an hour last weekend.

…I took just half an hour of my one hour paid break and left another manager in charge.

Apart from the fact I am SO DONE with this particular job, this could have easily been resolved without a face to face meeting which I found intimidating and overkill.

To make me feel better, tell me about your stupid or unfair bollockings please; because I am still raging about it a day later.

Manager locked 2 of us in the aquarium we worked at and she bollocked us because she had to turn back round to let us out.
she’s the one that didn’t do the walk around to see if anyone else was left like she was supposed to. Best thing is she didn’t come and let us out- it was her lackey- she met him halfway.

another job- on an emergency line- didn’t get 100% on a quality control test because I didn’t ask if there was anything else I could help with after informing them they hadn’t called in relation to an emergency.

Worst bit was the SLT with the issue didn't say it himself, made my lovely HOD do it instead

I remember one. We had a terrible snow day - feet not inches - locally (must've been 15 years ago) and I'd only just passed my driving test like 3 days before. I had a shit heap 20 year old old banger car with no power steering and I really wasn't confident driving in it. So I asked to work from home (we could and I was a manager who did once a fortnight or so anyway).

Was told no. I needed to set an example to my team and not to be late.

No taxis running (it really was that bad) so I tried to walk the 3 miles in, carting a rucksack with a change of clothes and shoes plus my laptop back on one shoulder with everything I needed for the day. I got about a mile in, slipped, fell backwards and whacked my head so hard I was seeing stars.

Managed to get up and walk home, soaked and called in. Explained what had happened and was asked why I'd walked home instead of carrying on and when would I be in? I explained I wasn't feeling well and I would let them know if I was able to work that afternoon.

I ended up vomiting and was having disturbed vision so I saw a doctor that afternoon who sent me to A&E. I had a bad concussion. I rang and explained. The next day (I took the next day off as advised) I got an email from the MD (small company) bollocking me, explaining that they expected better of me and that despite the company paying sick pay they weren't paying me because they didn't believe that I was 'sick' I'd hurt myself by refusing to drive to work. My own fault.

If I'd have been allowed to work from home as I frequently did anyway it would have been fine! I tried my bloody best. Arseholes. They went bust eventually. What a shame!

I'd drive in it now of course, but I've got a suitable (safe!) car and am a not days old driver with zero experience!

Was ignored for 6 weeks because I didn’t announce to the entire company that I’d got promoted. I didn’t because it had been emailed to the heads who had told their teams who had been promoted.

in a job now where I have to announce that I will be away from by desk - imagine loud speaker I’m going to the toilet!! Fucking humiliating. All in case a call comes through only I put the answer machine on and pick up messages on my 30 secs in the toilet. Cannot wait to get another job

I got a bollocking for allegedly transferring stock to another branch (I hadn’t). Cluster manager also apologised to said branch on my behalf and Ccd me into the email. I didn’t get an apology when it was later revealed that no stock had been transferred to the shop in question….

Got banned from ordering medical stock as I went over budget, without the stock we couldn't work and if we couldn't work then no money was made for the company! I happily let some other girl do the ordering and watched as it run low and everyone started panicking and getting annoyed.

All in the same job:

• bollocked for coming in late, which isn’t in and of itself out of order. But the reason I was sometimes 2-3 minutes late was because I had to get a bus which took over an hour with an hourly frequency. If I got the earlier one, I would have to stand outside waiting to be let in. Also, my bus home was half an hour after I finished so I often worked past my hours anyway. I should have asked permission - and I apologised and asked then when pulled up about it. My request to not have to get up an hour earlier was declined, so I declined to work the half hour after my shift and just read a book.
• it was my lunch break and the phone was ringing. My manager gave me a bitchy look and asked if I was going to answer it. She wasn’t on a break and was looking at holidays online! So I said no . Tried to take breaks away from my desk after that.

I was so glad to leave there. I took it because after graduation I literally couldn’t even get an interview for anything else. By the time I left, after about a year, I was crying every day I hated it so much.

Got called to hr and said an anonymous person had complained that I ate an orange at my desk. The rebook said no strong smelling food. Apparently oranges made this person sick. Turned out the person who complained at pizza, curry etc at their desk almost daily. My boss luckily sorted it after he saw I was upset and realised who had complained(I was 18, in my first job and no one had asked me to stop eating an orange first before reporting me to HR)
Same company I flatshared with a colleague. She locked me out the flat and fell asleep. I couldnt get in and there had been a couple of assaults in our road as we lived in a really rough area. I admit to shouting when she finally woke up at 4am to unchained the door. She reported me the next day to work for bullying. This time her boss stood up for me as she alledged I was always going over to her desk and being mean, he told them I only went over there to speak to him for work related reasons ad he sat facing her. I left the flat soon after.

Many years ago my boss asked me to go to Greece for a meeting - this was on a Thursday and she wanted me there for 8am Monday morning. I had an 18 month old at the time and when I said no she asked me if I was committed to my job and that I should be flexible at all times (and why didn't I have a live in nanny who could step in....)

Was told by my boss not to contact person x in department y with z problem that I had as they would take it forward and leave it with them.

Remind them it was impacting on a project. Was told they had it in hand and not to remind them.

Then got ticked off for not reminding them when the deadline for the project passed and it wasn't completed because of the problem that sat with person x to resolve.

Using a sponge to wash dishes instead of a cloth. I was 18 at the time and my manager gave me an absolute b*llocking about it. I was absolutely speechless.

Oh remembered another.

Got a bollocking for pulling a pint of Guinness into a generic pint glass. And wasting stock.

I used the generic glass because the few Guinness branded glasses were hot from the dishwasher. It was Christmas time so the pub was heaving, they would be used within the next ten minutes anyway. And I didn’t waste the stock - it was the manager who poured the pint out and made me do it again.

Then - not only did he shout at me in a crowded pub, he then brought it up after close, telling everyone that “those of you who can’t be arsed doing your job properly can fuck off. You know who you are” and pointedly looking my way.

He was so horrible. Shawn - I hope you step in a puddle wearing socks and every table you sit at wobbles.

Teaching assistant - I was supervising a group of kids at lunchtime, in a small classroom we called the 'games room' where the kids could come and play board games / read etc if they didn't want to be out in the main playground.

Some of the kids went to sit on the beanbags with their books and I noticed that one beanbag had ripped and the beans were spilling out. This had clearly happened before the child sat down, as he sat down gently and wouldn't have caused such a rip.

I took the ripped beanbag into the staff room, literally next door, where it couldn't be further damaged by the kids, and made a mental note to fix it after my break duty. In total I was out of the room for around 10 seconds, if that.

The SENCO, my boss, turned up literally as I was exiting the staff room. She looked into the open door of the games room, saw the beans all over the floor next to the bean bags where the children was still sitting (calmly!) and immediately started shouting at the kids for being "too rough" on the bean bags, and then me for 'leaving them unsupervised and letting them trash the room'!

The look on her face when I calmly explained what had actually happened was priceless.

I once received a very snotty email from my boss asking why I didn't stay past 6pm like the other members of the editorial team. I replied that if they wanted me to stay past 6pm, they could pay me past 6pm.

I was disciplined for failing to attend mandatory training about supporting part-time working and best practice HR policy because it was scheduled on one of my non-working days (part-timer myself). 🤷‍♀️ And there were no alternative dates on offer. My manager couldn’t see the irony.

I got told off for being away from my desk for too long. There was a power cut and I was stuck in the lift for over half an hour!

Same company, got a telling off for not being able to reach the pedals on my boss’s car so he had to be driven to a meeting in the company pool car rather than his fancy BMW.

That because his wife has 9 points for speeding on her driving licence and they have a fleet of high value / power cars that her insurance excess would be £8000.

This was 20 years ago but still pisses me off.
I was bollocked for referring to one of the supervisors as an idiot.
In reality..... I was a brand new graduate trainee & had been given a project to document processes in credit control team because their manager was retiring & mine was taking over the team.
At the time xxxx for dummies books were very popular so when she was making it difficult for me, I said I was making an idiot's guide like the dummies books and she complained that I had called her an idiot.

Years ago I worked as a cashier for a major high street bank. One afternoon I was called in to the manager's office and the deputy head gave me a massive bollocking because apparently I had been saying I was using my till float to pay my bus fare. He was extremely angry and I couldn't get a word in. When he finally stopped I pointed out I didn't know what he was talking about as I didn't use the bus and came in with my husband in our car. He then said I must have been saying I used it for car parking so I pointed out that my husband had an allotted car parking space so we didn't pay. He repeated rhe accusations and said I'd discussed it with a woman - but I didn't know her. He gave up at that point.

They were FURIOUS that I got toomany sales too quickly. Nobody does that and it spoils it for everyone! Apparently 😁

How on earth did she think you were to know? Some people are unbelievable.

🙄. How do these halfwits get; never mind hold onto the positions they have!?

The most ridiculous one I had was when one of my line reports put in a grievance against me for passing on information that she had told me in confidence.
I had, of course, done no such thing, but had 8 people tell me this thing that she had told them in confidence as they were so worried about her. FWIW, I had taken the exact correct action. Had been, I thought, helpful and supportive.
Didn't stop me being dragged through a 6 week investigation with all these others dragged into it to give statements that she had told them. She couldn't produce one single piece of evidence that I had shared anything about it.
Kicked off again when I requested that she move to a different team for a fresh start as "You are the best team manager and just cos I complained about you shouldn't make a difference".

Went to a meeting at a hotel. The hotel staff laid out the buffet on a trestle table without putting the tablecloth on. I got told off for it looking unprofessional even though I wasn’t in the room when it happened, I asked them to change it as soon as I saw it and the hotel boss apologised to my boss for it happening.

Ended up in a disciplinary for not hiring the 'right' person.

I interviewed 4. I gave the job to the best candidate.

Problem was, they'd already told candidate A the job was his. They told me before the interview I had to hire him as he would 'tick the box for their diversity score'

I told them to get lost and I would hire the best person - who happened to be candidate B.

I didn't know they'd already told candidate A the job was his.

I'm still annoyed about this 20 years later!!! You can be pink/green/purple for all I care - it's about who was the most qualified and gave the best interview in my opinion.

Got a written warning.

In a different job, got told off for not answering my mobile enough - driving job, 1990's, no handsfree.