Stupidest bollockings you’ve had at work?

[TimeAtTheBar]

I got called into a meeting with my bosses boss yesterday to address a complaint from a member of my team that I had disappeared off for half an hour last weekend.

…I took just half an hour of my one hour paid break and left another manager in charge.

Apart from the fact I am SO DONE with this particular job, this could have easily been resolved without a face to face meeting which I found intimidating and overkill.

To make me feel better, tell me about your stupid or unfair bollockings please; because I am still raging about it a day later.

Had a viral cold one winter, took 2 days off due to coughing, sneezing, and feeling generally horrible.

The next month got norovirus, probably from the workplace. Policy was not to come in until 48 hours after the last episode of D&v. Thankfully I got ill on Good Friday so only needed 2 days off work in the end.

Got a bollocking for poor attendance and was told I couldn't be ill again that year, basically.

The kicker: I worked as frontline non-clinical in an NHS hospital. Half the patients I spoke to every day were in for cancer diagnosis or treatment

I was sent home ill one day, then got told off for finishing a piece of work the same day that only I could finish!

At the same workplace, a woman was reprimanded for not calling in at 9am as she'd gone into labour at 2am that morning. DH had to walk out of hospital grounds to get signal at 10am, two hours after giving birth.

Also, my friend and I worked at a popular clothing retailer while we were at university. We were told off for answering the phones. Apparently we weren't 'qualified' to answer the phones - only the full-time supervisor who was the same age as us, but had left school with a D, F, G and G in her GCSEs was the person to answer all calls. We were both doing PhDs and my friend had just returned from interviewing people on death row!

What a waste of time your PhD was when it doesn't even qualify you to answer the phone! 😂
What on earth did they trust you with?

Worked for a few months for a company that was just mean and oppressive, changed the rules all the time so you never knew what was wrong and what wasn't. Strangely, or maybe not, they were very big on "fun days" which everyone had to join in with and pretend they were enjoying. One day everyone had to contribute to a themed lunch (at their own cost) which was held at the normal lunch time. I wanted to go to a shop so tried to duck out only to told by a kindly soul that I should wait, if I didn't stay for at least 20 minutes I'd get told off for not joining in! In my own unpaid lunch break! I made my escape from the company quite soon after 😂

Two more spring to mind.
I was 18, at school, and in the holidays worked for a catering company at the Open Golf. It was only for a few days. I had an abscess on my wisdom tooth, and for such a short stint, decided I just needed to work and earn. I had a lump in my cheek as though I was sucking a sweet, and could not open my mouth properly.
Bitched faced woman who owned the catering co yelled at me for 15 mins for 'eating on the job'. I could not open my mouth to tell her otherwise, but just pointed. She then shouted at me to keep out of sight from clients but to keep serving. She did not provide a mask/balaclava for me to stop frightening people with my hideously deformed cheek .

On an email to a guy in UK (I am a Brit working in Aus) I said 'my mates in xx Asian country would like the system to do xxxx, if that can be factored in without too much hassle'

Apparently using the word 'mates' was a slur and offensive. I had to apologise to one person from that Asian country (not the 10 others in the same team) and had it formally noted on my staff report. It impacted my pay rise.
12 years on, I am still bewildered why he was so offended. Yes it was casual, but so was the team atmosphere- until that point.

I once got told off for working too hard!

Hollywood Bowl about 20 years ago. I was on the cafe on the morning shift so we had no customers at all. Only 1 lane open and they were a regular group who never ordered food. 2 people wandered in off the street and into the bar area. The bar was open but there was no-one officially manning it (Only me and the shoe lady in the building!) So I left my empty cafe and went to serve them. Customers all happy and satisfied. Got pulled into the office at the end of my shiftto be told I'd overstepped my boundaries!

Walked out and never went back. Teats!

Twats obv but I quite like teats as an insult 😂

Many moons ago, I worked in showcase cinemas and they had a policy where they made us count the popcorn tubs and coke cups every end of shift. If it didn't tally up with sales then there would be issues.
On one occasion a small child was having a severe asthma attack in the foyer. I popped over and gave the parent a cup filled with water to help the child. I wrote it down and had a witness that it was a medical emergency. At the end of the shift I had a massive bollocking for using one of their cups. I have never worked for such a tight ass company!

This has reminded me of a boss I had who accused me of trying to poison her! She was allergic to coffee, and one day after I’d made the office a round of drinks, she came out of her office coughing and spluttering and clawing at her neck.

I had apparently used the same spoon to stir her tea with as I’d used to stir other people’s coffee. Only I hadn’t because we all knew that she was allergic to coffee!

I did that anyway because if someone does that to me I can taste the coffee in my tea and it’s horrible. She wouldn’t believe me though, and went home leaving me to think I was going to be arrested for murder! (I was young and impressionable!).

The care home I used to work at, even after 5 years my manager still didn't understand me. My old manager shouted for me to come downstairs to ask why there were bananas in the fridge (I didn't put them there). She also asked me one day why a resident was drying their own hair, I replied "I thought we were meant to be teaching independent skills".

I taught in one of only two demountable classrooms that involved a walk across the playground. The deputy head called me in to say she observed I had been late after break. I told her I had encountered a minor piece of indiscipline I had to attend on the staircase while getting there which had delayed me. As she rambled on about the need for punctuality, I could see the HOD of English going across the playground, late, as always.

I was told by other staff that she selected a victim every year, always a newbie, usually female.

That is completely unhinged behaviour!!