Stupidest bollockings you’ve had at work?

[TimeAtTheBar]

I got called into a meeting with my bosses boss yesterday to address a complaint from a member of my team that I had disappeared off for half an hour last weekend.

…I took just half an hour of my one hour paid break and left another manager in charge.

Apart from the fact I am SO DONE with this particular job, this could have easily been resolved without a face to face meeting which I found intimidating and overkill.

To make me feel better, tell me about your stupid or unfair bollockings please; because I am still raging about it a day later.

What do you mean, you knew what the problem was? Are you trying to say she was jealous of you?

You're not coming off well in that tale yourself, really.

Oh another one from the wonderful world of magazine publishing - the director who walked the floor at 9.05 (or thereabouts) congratulating everyone who was wearing high heels whilst having a ‘quiet word’ with any flat boot wearers. A full-on blizzard was raging outside, hardly any public transport was running and about four inches of snow had settled in central London. Got to stay on-brand ladies!

I got covid … and had to isolate for 10 days (policy at the time) …… a week following my return I caught a violent bug and had to stay home until 48 hours after the LAST time I was sick (enforced by workplace policy).. I was called into the office on my return and given a written warning for my attendance 👍

I got a disciplinary for being late because it snowed and I couldn't get my car off the driveway, so I got the train which in itself was an epic journey but THEN the train doors froze shut and I was stuck for hours.
They also made me make up the time. Unbelievable. I was on almost minimum wage as well.

i should add .. this was accompanied by a bollocking , a lot of huffing and puffing, and a lot of questions I was mindblown about answering such as ‘do you think this might happen again miss XYZ?’

I had several cleaning jobs when the kids were small. I did one morning a week at the local pub and restaurant and another woman did the other six mornings.

Id been there about 3 months when I got called to a meeting by the "head of housekeeping" who said id blocked the vacuum cleaner by vacuuming up beer mats. I pointed out that wasnt the vacuum cleaner I used. She then told me off for not changing the air freshener in the ladies toilets every week. I asked it it only ran out on the day I worked. She then gave me a bollocking for accepting the free lunch the landlord offered me when I worked late one day. Then there was the table cloths and napkins I'd left in the dryer. Apparently if I couldnt get them washed and dried and folded up In the hour they allocated for me to do laundry I should leave them and not put them in the wash at all . I got paid for that days work and then told the landlord I wouldnt be working again.

The other cleaner then got caught stealing from the charity box.

Back in the late 90's a colleague got told off by 3 male members of senior management for smoking a fag outside the main office entrance (which happened to be situated on a corner of a busy footpath and road). All the men in the office fancied her like mad as she always wore short skirts, full makeup and had shiny long hair.

Anyway the irony of all this was senior management had a cheek to ask her stop smoking on the corner as it made the company look 'cheap'. They actually said she looked like a prostitute looking for business first thing in the morning as she always went out for a fag break as soon as she arrived. They asked her to 'move' to a more discreet doorway which was situated around the back... she was disgusted and left the company shortly afterwards but could you imagine if that happened nowadays, she could probably sue them for discrimination and it would be headline news... all before social media of course...

The prostitute comment is appalling, but most places have a policy of staff not smoking at the front of the building, nothing strange about that,

About 30 odd years ago - working as a PA/Secretary to The Big Boss. He went on holiday for a couple of weeks. During his absence I dealt with any problems that came in, sent out routine correspondence and holding replies to anything I couldn't deal with and generally kept the show on the road pretty well.

When he returned he called me into his office and literally screamed at me, for a long time, going red in the face - he didn't know what he paid me for, I was incompetent yadda, yadda My crime? He had one of those old style calendars hanging on his wall, the sort with a different picture for each month. And while he was away we had gone from August to September and I hadn't taken the calendar off the wall and turned it to the new page.

😂😂😂😂😂

One that happened during lockdown.

I am a solicitor. I had a client who was having her case for a non molestation orer being heard at 10 am on a tuesday. I had finalised her witness statement an sent it to her before 9 am on a Sunday for her to review and approve.

I got a massive bollocking because she rang the office on Monday to complain that I was putting her under pressure by sending it to her at the weekend. She did not have to read it, just i had finalised it and sent it for her review.

Same client (after winning her NMO) and then us moving on to child arrangements order sent me an e-mail on a Saturday night that I did not pick up and reply to until the MOnday. She went bathsit crazy because apparently she should not have to wait more than 24 hours for a response to her e-mail.

This happened only the other day. I’d been in work about 15 minutes, setting up, said morning to whoever was in etc when one of the managers calls me over to look at his screen where he is scrolling up and down the team group chat.

’what’s wrong there Tommy?’
‘no idea Ed?’
’you’ve not said hello in the group chat’

i was sitting directly opposite him. He could literally see me, but because I’d not said hello digitally, I didn’t exist. Me pointing this out went down like a sack of shite.

The best bit was, he didn’t say hello to me AT ALL! Digitally or in person!
Ed, if you’re reading this, you are an incompetent moron who is stealing a living. Just retire already and go and micromanage your bowls team.

• Learning Hungarian in my own time as a hobby instead of having extra driving lessons, when I never actually agreed to learn to drive and I could only afford one lesson a week on my peanuts salary of the time

• Not agreeing to take a week's orientation abroad as part of my annual leave, even though I was working every day. They backed down, because there was no way I was going to.

1. When in work placement at a secondary school, the head yelled at me to go to her office, then bollocked me for a too short skirt and "How dare you not wear our school uniform here?". Had to tell her I wasn't a student. Then she was nice to me
2. At a proper job, on my first day, I was walking along the corridor between my office and the staff room on my lunch hour, on my phone texting. Manager bollocked me in the corridor for using it, tried to take it off me and was screaming about me being insolent. I had no idea that a week before, before I was employed, they'd created a new no phones policy in the corridor. Stupid rule, even more stupid manager for being so angry, not thinking to check if I even knew the rule and for implementing it in the first place!
3. My most recent job, got told off for using my own mug in a big zoom meeting. We had been sent home with company mugs, pens etc to use, as advertising almost in calls. I used a plain white mug instead of the plain white mug with our company's initial on it.

I used dittos in the visitors book going to a client office as a number of us for the same meeting all arrived together. Big no no with the security man who had made a sign saying "No Dittos in the Visitors Book"!!

😂

The prostitute comment was wrong but telling her not to smoke in the doorway is fine. It’s rank for people passing, and it does look rough.

Temping job. Because of trains I just used to get in on time, which was fine as we were very very quiet first thing.
Was bollocked and told I needed to get an earlier train and basically sit there for half an hour doing nothing unpaid (before then sitting for an hour paid doing nothing). Instead I started leaving at 5.05pm. Post was ready to go at 5.15pm and HAD to go and I had stayed to take it on my way home but I stopped until they relented.
They also majorly bollocked me when I got a permanent job, I offered to leave that second but they needed me, so then pleaded with me to stay.

My prick manager bollocked us when there were no biscuits in the office. He had been stealing our biscuits so we started hiding them. Tried to make out he could go to HR for basically not providing his fat arse with free food.

I was in my late 40s and worked in a call centre. I was asking a colleague for advice on a call as we were encouraged to do to avoid bothering the team leaders. One of the newly appointed team leaders aged 19 asked me what I should be doing. I turned and looked at her before she said “oh no it’s ok.”
I thought you’re damn right it’s ok little miss teenager when I’m older than your mother (who also worked there)

I got reprimanded by a new executive because one of the bigger projects failed through lack of management/poor management. I'd didn't know anything about it. Apparently the project manager died suddenly and it was assumed I'd taken over. No one had said anything, I never knew the man who died so had no idea he was dead or I was expected to take it over. Afterwards she handed me a warning and I pointed out it was actually for someone else, she had the wrong person, she actually had never met me before or the person who she actually thought should have taken over (who I knew and he was on a full time project elsewhere at the time).

Normally it was a really good place to work, she wasn't around long.

I got a huge telling off as a grown adult for not ordering red onion, which was an ingredient in ONE of our 15 sandwich options.

I actually walked out in anger at how ridiculous ridiculous it was because we worked at famous sausage roll shop and said person shouting at me had forgotten to order sausage rolls the week before and bloody laughed about it.

Ughhh, work.

I have severe endometriosis and have random flare ups (IYKYK). Some flare ups come and go and others linger for longer and need to ride out. I was at my desk and I had an orange (up until this point this was not a trigger food), I got an intense flare up. Around me my team were all seated and I stood up and went to the loo. I was bleeding, heavily so I knew this flare up had nicely timed itself with the start of my dreaded period. It was now time to go home to WFH. On the way back to my desk I bumped into another manager (C), who was oblivious to my pale face snd he just nattered away; suddenly I felt sick rise to my mouth and I turned back and ran towards the loo. My running away had stopped his monologue mid sentence but I had puked so violently (I hadn’t made it fully to the loo) that it was in my hair, my dress and it was just a shit show. I was so upset that I was in so much pain and I know had literal puke on me. I returned to my desk and I obviously I didn’t look like how I had left 5 or so minutes ago, and I told my manager I wasn’t feeling well and would be going home to work. My manager and my colleagues had all wished me well and sympathised. When I got home (10 mins later) I saw I had a meeting the following day at 9am in my diary with my manager and C, thought nothing of it and continued working (even though I felt like shit but wanted to be a ‘team player’).

Next day I get to the office and go to the meeting room and my manager is there as is C and two members of HR. Apparently C had raised a complaint that I had acted ‘unprofessionally’ by ‘running off’ and ‘leaving him stranded’ whilst he was mid sentence. He wanted a written apology for my unprofessionalism. My manager was aggrieved that I had ‘made a scene’ when I had returned from the loos and he was ‘concerned I was letting my personal life interfere with my work’. He wanted to discuss placing me on a PIP. He was also ‘disgusted’ that I had ‘announced to everyone I was bleeding’ (I hadn’t told anyone, a colleague in another team had heard me puking and asked my team mate if I was okay and how shit was having period cramps) and ‘how my sick had smelt so bad it had made him feel queasy’.

I was fucking flabbergasted.

I looked at them both. Sitting there drunk on their power. I looked at them and looked at HR and calmly said: I was sick. I said but I had literal puke in my mouth when C was bleating on (about his shitty kids mind, not even work related chat). I said but I had continued to work even though I probably shouldn’t have, that’s how professional I am and how little I let my personal life impact my work. I reminded them that though anyone can be sick, my episode was caused by endometriosis… the very endometriosis which they knew about, the endometriosis which they knew about at interview stage when they gave me the job, the endometriosis which they knew caused me flare ups, the endometriosis which they (ought to have) known is protected under the Equalities Act, and the endometriosis which allowed me to take unlimited additional sick days (as agreed with HR when I joined).

The two twats’ smile quickly faded.

HR (who clearly didn’t have the foggiest what their complaint was) jumped in before they could retort and apologised profusely and said that of course it had been a misunderstanding….

In the end I handed in my notice after I was given several thousands of pounds to stop me from bringing a discrimination complaint and I left with a wonderful, pre agreed written reference.

Both the twats were soon demoted and left the company.

Fuck you very much!!

I had a bollocking today from my line manager because I didn’t report a faulty photocopier. She got more irate when I said I didn’t know it was broken. I had to point out to her that I work from home and I haven’t been in the office since before Covid.

I worked for a company that had several different buildings close together. They put in a new, fancy, entry system for which we all needed a fob. The fobs were numbered so they knew which one belonged to which employee and also who was entering and leaving. I was on holiday when they were issued and for some reason they gave mine to a temporary worker in the post dept, which she then lost. So I came back from holiday and had to buzz the receptionist to get into my building for a few weeks. Somebody found the fob and sent it back to the facilities department, who then turned up at my desk (three of them) to give out reams about how irresponsible I was, how much the system and each fob cost and how I was putting security at risk for not looking after my fob. They said that if I lost it again it would not be reissued.

I let them wind down and then gave out to them for giving my personal fob to a random temp employee, how that compromised security because it appeared that I was accessing various buildings when I wasn't even in the country and if they couldn't be more responsible with their administration of the system then they needed to take the fob back right away and I would do without it. They left chuntering about rudeness (they started it).

I changed job a couple of months later, not related to the fob incident. I 'accidentally' did not return my fob.

Should have typed 'told off' instead of 'gave out', I forgot a few idioms when I changed country.

One lady had an issue with me, because her son and I had 'dated' when we were in primary school together, she said he was too young for dating and I had set him off on a bad path. We were 9 and held hands at the yr 5 disco.
She reported me for everything she could think of,

Loitering outside public toilets (queuing for the toilet on my way home).

Innapropriate behaviour in the staff room (eating a banana, normally)

Being unprofessional and risking the companies reputation (she saw me run for the bus, We do not wear uniform or lanyards, even if running for busses is unprofessional, nobody knew where I worked)

Lateness (road closures due to the snowstorm)

Unprofessional hair (no idea, it was in a ponytail)

Sulking and not being a team player (I took one unpaid lunch break in my car instead of the staff room because I needed to phone the doctors-which I did tell her)

Luckily the manager saw what was happening and none of her complaints went on my record but I was 20 and she used to make me so nervous