Stupidest bollockings you’ve had at work?

[TimeAtTheBar]

I got called into a meeting with my bosses boss yesterday to address a complaint from a member of my team that I had disappeared off for half an hour last weekend.

…I took just half an hour of my one hour paid break and left another manager in charge.

Apart from the fact I am SO DONE with this particular job, this could have easily been resolved without a face to face meeting which I found intimidating and overkill.

To make me feel better, tell me about your stupid or unfair bollockings please; because I am still raging about it a day later.

I once worked for one of the major banks. I said to a customer that had struggled with her PIN number at the cash point - had she definitely put the PIN number in properly, before I ordered her a new one. I got told off by a supervisor for saying ‘PIN’ and not saying ‘Personal Identification Number’. The customer said it to me first so I assumed she knew what it meant!

Working my hours. My first job when I was 18 was in health insurance, and my hours were 8-4 because I had to travel by two very specific rural trains that basically only ran morning and evening, my team knew this.

After about 6 months I got called in by my boss, and was bollocked, he proper shouted at me for ‘only working my hours’. Even though my work was perfect, I was fast and frankly did more work than people who had been there a while. Apparently me leaving every day at 4pm (as stated by my contract) was unacceptable. Unfortunately for him, he mistook me for someone with a mortgage or a shit to give. So I told him to shove his job, and I walked out. Didn’t work my notice, explained to HR why and never went back.

Two come to mind, a horrible controlling boss of mine once made me move seats in a meeting as she felt that I was sitting the the wrong one. I was so shocked that I just did it.

Another boss felt the need to give me written instructions on how to make toast properly. The role didn't actually involve making toast, I was doing that bit as a favour.

A colleague from years ago reported another colleague for spending too much money from her salary on hair extensions!
What actually happens to these half witted morons when they bring this shite to management? 🙄. Surely they're marked down as a complete liability?

Ive been bollocked for being too good at my job

i work in customer care and part of my role is helping anyone who needs it/dealing with complaints/cleaning up after people etc

i go above and beyond for everyone and I’m told I’m always happy,smiley and cheerful
I make a point of never bringing in issues to work and a lot of customers tell me their kids adore me

big no-no if you listen to my boss-I was hauled into a meeting to bollock me for ‘being too helpful,cheerful, ‘for being too full of energy’ and that I’m too good with kids’,but then I got my yearly review and they commented how happy,smiley and cheerful I always am,that they don’t know where I get my energy from,how kids are always asking if I’m in that day as I’m really good with them and how good it is I never bring home issues to work…

I can’t win

My line manager yelled at me and called me a bitch in front of clients As I couldn’t of possibly got all the work done in less than 24 hours and ‘most people take weeks to turn it around’ he made me go back to the clients and retrieve the paperwork to prove I had done it - I had worked through the night to get it done. I got the paperwork and another senior colleague to come in to his office whilst he double checked the paperwork / that’s when he called me a bitch as I was undermining him.

a few weeks later I was diagnosed with a tumour in my throat and during a meeting with HR He asked me to explain to him how I had a tumour and ‘what I had done to cause it’ - I asked him to repeat the question twice - I explained I was a non smoker and fit and healthy never taken drugs etc - and asked him to explain why he felt I had ‘done something’. I went off Ill and took the company to court. He was sacked two days later whilst I was I’ll and the company refused to discuss his behaviour as ‘he was no longer with the organisation’ , I was compensated and got a new job. Been there a year and he turned up as a temp for a basic role but I had to work with him. I was in the process of relocating and had thank god applied for an amazing job - two years later he is still a temp there - they haven’t made him permanent - and in this role his pay is about £100 K a year left. I left 6 weeks after he joined what a tool he was.

I had a witch of a manager for about 9 months before I went on maternity leave at the earliest possible opportunity. One of my 'favourite' experiences with her was receiving a bollocking for asking a senior member of staff about his salary. Apparently he had complained. I had no recollection of the conversation in question but immediately went to him to apologise. He had no idea what I was talking about.

It wasn't the only thing the lying fantasist made up as part of her relentless bullying. In the end, my grievance ran to six pages and she was eventually fired just before I returned from mat leave. The mad cow took the company to tribunal because they 'stole' her company car from her after she was sacked...

I used to work on a city trading floor. The big boss was a tiny man but a massive arsehole. He used to go apoplectic if someone came into the office without a tie or if they drank a drink from a can instead of pouring it into a glass. Like throwing his intray against the wall, shouting and swearing crazy. Fucking mentalist.

Another one! DH is a postal worker. He gets tracked by his PDA. A woman who was crossing the road with a baby in a pram when a speeding car almost hit them. Luckily there was no impact but the woman was very shaken. The driver didn't stop. DH saw what happened, went to help, rang the police etc. His manager noticed he hadn't moved in a significant amount of time, so pulled him in next day to say if he delayed his round again he'd face disciplinary action. DH asked, what he should have done instead and was told not to get involved and carry on with his round.

Some bosses are subhuman. Maybe not even that.

I had a bollocking for saying only thick people voted to leave (brexit)

I was forced to apologise to the only moron person in the office who voted leave and made a complaint 😂

Oh God too many to list them all but here’s a few:

Bollocked on my first day in a new teaching job as my display paper was primary colours and not beige.
Bollocked as I gave every child a sticker and a lovely comment each week in their home - school book. I was only to write comments if a child had excelled at something 🙄. They were Primary 1!
Bollocked for sitting with children in my room for lunch as they were too distressed in a busy dining room. They had their lunch with me then went outside when everyone in the hall had finished eating. “There’s nothing WRONG with them they’re acting up.” All three were diagnosed with ASD in the following years.
Bollocked for allowing children to hug me.
Bollocked for buying cosy blankets in the winter after the lockdown as the kids were freezing with windows open and no heating.
Every morning I went into that place the bitch was waiting for me as well as others. The last morning I was walking up the stairs to my room and I could hear her screeching on me but I kept walking. She reached the bottom of the stairs and screeched “don’t you dare walk away from me” so I turned and walked down the stairs, her smug smile soon disappeared when I walked past her and out the door. She was still screeching 😂

She left education very abruptly the term after….

'Why did you lower the blinds?'
'The sun was in our eyes'
'The blinds need to be fully open at all times'
'Ok, but we can't see'
'Well... [changes topic and walk away]'
🤨😂😂

I got told off for eating too much of a buffet and getting seconds before our service users had their firsts. Which was total and utter bullshit, I actually was last and then got another plate for a colleague that was busy on medication round. RIDICULOUS. Manager had been told this by one of my equals 🙄Stupid stupid people.

I was called in for a meeting for my dept not hitting target whilst we were closed during covid, it was the start of 'managing me out' , I started looking for another job. Life's far too short for that shit.

Member of staff was heading off on May leave, collection done, manager’s PA asked me to buy the gifts. I was reluctant but was told that manager requested me. No-one around to check with, so I got on with it. Next day all hell broke loose as manager wanted to do something different. PA got in before me and said I’d taken over. I got b*ocked, and each time I tried to explain was shouted down and told I’d done something terrible. Over some muslins and a few babygrows. The madness of women’s magazine publishing - ten years on and I still feel thankful every day that I’m no longer in that toxic world!

This was mid 80’s, I worked in a supermarket whilst in sixth form. On produce. The female supervisor always seemed to have it in for me, I remember once a colleague (before the store was open) jokingly knocked the back of my hat as we were all walking onto the shop floor. She took ME straight to the office to yell at me. I always wondered why she was such a bitch, but then I saw her shopping there one early evening. Scruffy, with a scruffy, grubby looking child, they just looked so awful. I knew then what the problem was. 17 year old me felt amused and smug. Not I just pity what she was. So Jackie, if you read this, hope you’ve improved your life.

A warning for verbally abusing a photocopier.

I had the same. The ice cream was bought by one of the other managers as treat, but that fact was ignored.

Ah. And did you say it the way it reads?

Worked alone in one busy section of a business, 4 people in the other section. Got told off for not leaving my area to help the others even though nobody came near where I worked unless they wanted something and I would have been told off for not finishing my job. Also, in the same job, got told off for taking my statutory break because no one else could cover me.

I was 16 and on a YTS scheme in an office job. The manager went away on holiday for a week, and the the admin assistant, so technically my line manager, decided to give me a written warning off her own back. Really stupid stuff, like my hair was too long and might get caught in someone (filing cabinet...type writer??) And saying 'I'm just coming' to a customer waiting at the desk. 30 years later and looking at from an adult perspective I'm still pissed off about how utterly nasty it was, but at 16 I was really upset. The manager came back and it was never mentioned again.

After a particularly busy and stressful period at work I bought cakes for the office, left them in the kitchen and emailed the whole office to say help themselves to the cakes.
My manager hauled me in to (in her words) reprimand me for sending the message from myself and not her! 🤷‍♀️

When I was a teenager I turned up to my Saturday shop job to find the boss waiting for me and wanting a work... got a bollocking because lots of stock had got broken during the week. I pointed out I only worked Saturdays....
Same boss kept the stock rooms in an utter mess, then used to come storming up if you couldn't find something a customer was waiting for, then couldn't find it herself!

On another note @BellaLab you sound like an amazing teacher! I always struggled with school and hated the playground and would've loved a caring teacher like you

*wanting a word not work. We need an edit button!