Personal hygiene

[Ohmywhat]

I'm so embarrassed, I can only really discuss this anonymously so please be gentle.

A friend who I've known for many many years has very sympathetically told me that I've let my personal hygiene slip. She's not wrong, my weight has steadily increased especially over the past two years and I'm really struggling. I don't know where to start.

We are supposed to be going away in a big group next weekend and now I feel I can't go. How can I knowing she thinks this?

Any advice? (apart from have a wash!) I know it seems so easy but I feel stuck and a bit panicky and overwhelmed.

So much good advice, just wanted to chime in though! I always use soap, proper bar soap like Pears. It’s SO much better at getting you clean compared to shower gel and the like. My husband used to be a bit whiffy by the end of the day due to his job, it’s very physical. Since we switched to proper soap he smells so fresh all day now.

You sound like me 😢. I'm the same. I do have a shower but in the bath feel a bit wedged in. Also have bad knees and osteo arthritis so that doesn't help and like you say it's hard to pull yourself up from the bath when your joints really hurt. ❤️

I honestly believe this is a thread dressed up as "fat people smell". I reported to HQ and they have chosen not to take it down. But fat people are perfectly capable of washing themselves properly - even if they don't have a shower and have to stand in the bath and use jugs of water because they can't sit down. Unless you're in My 600lb Life territory it is absolutely possible and easy to be clean and fresh as an overweight person. Using weight as an excuse not to wash is odd too.

OP isn’t saying that she smells because she’s fat though - she has said she’s struggling with her weight, doesn’t have a shower, is struggling with motivation etc. It sounds more like she simply feels bad about herself and both the weight and the personal hygiene are symptoms of that.

And obviously it’s not easy or comfortable to wash with jugs standing in the bath. So it’s not as appealing as a nice hot shower where you could easily wash yourself.

If OP struggles to stand up for 5 minutes then that is a different thread altogether.

Atm when it is hot and there is a water shortage and we are newly on a water meter I am "showering" a lot. I get in the bath and turn on the shower to get myself wet. Then I turn the shower off, soap up, shower on again to rinse off. If I didn't have a shower I could do it pretty much the same with jugs of water filled from the bath taps.

I think most people could unless physically disabled.

I am pleased that you aren't having any difficulties A580Hojas, but that doesn't mean I'm not. I'm just going through a difficult time at the moment and hope to be coping better very soon.

You are projecting, @A580Hojas. MNHQ were absolutely right not to take down this supportive and kind thread.

OP is clearly really struggling with her mental health and her weight gain is very likely both a symptom and an aggravating factor. You are inferring a fat phobic subtext.

Not at all. As a fat person myself I am very alert to "fat people don't take care of their personal hygiene" threads and sadly there are many trolls who relish this as a theme.

Being unmotivated to wash due to depression (rather than fatness) is different ... but that is not how this thread started out.

You've reported to MNHQ @A580Hojas and they've left the thread up. And following this, the OP has said you are mistaken.

Best to hide the thread of you still have suspicions rather than me-rail it, as it's not being taken down and if OP is genuine (which MNHQ think she is and I can see no reason to think otherwise) you're making the thread about you rather than her.

I know it's been mentioned numerous times in this thread, but OP, I'm a similar size to you and I swear by Mitchum roll on deodorant. It's brilliant. Even during the heat wave and sweating my arse off, I didn't smell. Not a whiff. Before that I used to use Sure 72hr, which is good as well. But I've officially been converted. Lasts longer too

Also roll it under my boobs and underneath stomach over hang. It really does help. I have sensitive skin too, but it doesn't sting or anything like more stronger deodorants (which I've tried as well)

I also swear by bar soap. Regular liquid body wash is rubbish and doesn't properly clean. Hate the stuff

All of the above. And I'll add weekly bed linen change is recommended

Weekly bed linen change is recommended. Every few months is minging

I agree with pp that it does seem a big effort to stay clean and tidy, especially if you are depressed or have mobility problems. And that's just the basics I'm talking about, goodness knows how those that do tans/eyelashes/make-up/nails can be arsed! (And FYI I knew a girl who was "high maintainance" on things like that but wasn't actually clean - would just layer new make-up on top of the old)

It's like painting the forth road bridge, hair-washing, showering, cutting nails, no sooner are you finished than you have to start again! But I think the routine/ritual aspect is good for us. Something comforting about bath and hair wash on a Sunday night followed by some BBC period drama in the autumn.

I got my whole face threaded today and feel so much better for it. It's only peach fuzz and no-one else would notice or care but I like the smooth feeling and feeling like I am making an effort for myself. i'm going to try and do it regularly. (Whereas, as I said above, I cba with tan/eyelashes/nails!)

I haven't read the whole thread, only your responses, so this has probably been mentioned but try to wear natural fabrics next to your skin, they will help you stay fresher for longer. My son has this one tshirt for sport that is made of God knows what unnatural fabric and no matter what I do with it it stinks. Tried freezing it, bio liquid, non bio liquid, laundry cleanser, sunshine, nothing works, argh! But, it does illustrate that natural fabrics are better for keeping pongs at bay.

Trying to think what I do! Once you're in a routine you do it almost automatically
Not including "beauty" stuff as that's personal choice

Wash under arms and feet, belly button and sweaty bits with a bar soap and flannel, then I wash my whole body with a shower gel, use a long handled brush for my back and feet
Hydromol is good for sore bits, you can wash with it (I use it for chafed bits after bike rides)
Use the soft solid cream dove/sure type at night (after my shower)
Use a microplane foot file on my feet and foot cream
Clean (that's the brand) perfumes are pretty cheap on allbeauty and smell really good, like clean laundry if you wanted to wear some scent
Wash my face twice a day
Clean teeth twice a day, and I use floss/interdental sticks. Also brush your tongue! I got a special brush and paste called Tung gel from Amazon which I love

Wash clothes with bio powder and dettol laundry sanitiser (fabric conditioner holds sweat smells in). Leave the washing machine door open after to dry and get clothes dry as soon as you can
I wear jeans/trousers etc more than once but change tops every day
Check your bras, they can get a build up of deo which can smell
Wash stuff like cushion covers, throws, jackets often
Bedding once a week but if you are struggling then use a top sheet under the duvet cover - change bottom and top sheet and pillowcases weekly and the duvet cover needs washing less often then
Open windows at home

In the short term, until you’re hopefully provided with a shower, could you attach rubber shower attachment to your bath taps, or sink, and use it while standing in the bath? HTH

Good Morning @Ohmywhat , hope you are feeling a bit brighter today?

My twopence, for what its worth is to get yourself into a proper routine, I truly believe its good for your mental health to have a morning routine that sets you up for the day and then a weekly one for running your home, I know it can feel overwhelming but once you start you begin to realise that you are worth it, Its lovely to sink into a clean bed after a busy day, its lovely to feel clean in clean clothes (all the make up and stuff is fine, just add bits in slowly), its lovely to walk into a clean kitchen in the morning without it being covered in yesterdays crap etc, I wish you a happy and productive sunday

It takes something like six weeks to get a habit really ingrained, so if necessary write down your daily plan, and your weekly plan, then you will have the satisfaction of being able to tick what you have achieved that day. Keep at it and hopefully by six weeks you won't have to think about it any more as it will have become second nature.
If you can afford it treat yourself to one nice thing a week as a reward, maybe a really posh soap or new nail polish.

Morning!

I had a really dreadful nights sleep but actually feeling OK this morning. Feeling determined to make some progress today and includes writing a plan for a weekday routine before work.

I've stripped my bed and put the actual duvet in the wash and hung it outside, I'm about to put the sheets in now. My new pillows are due to arrive today so I'll have a fresh bed by bedtime.

My mum is coming over this afternoon, I'd love to be washed and dressed for that.

I also want to dig out some pyjamas, I've got in a terrible habit of sleeping in my t shirts and putting a fresh one on in the morning.

Will let you know how far I've got with all that later!

Morning OP, changing in to PJ’s (even if they are just specially bought t-shirts, vests/shorts etc) is a really good idea. It’s part of the bedtime ritual, wash, teeth, lotion, pj’s, herbal tea, reading, meditation… whatever the elements are it will really help ingrain the habits

Everyone has given masses of great advice so I'd like to add mine if I may for the problem you mention re this........
I do have an uncomfortable area under my stomach, it can get very sore so I am careful to put cream on it a few times a week. Regular soap can sting though so any suggestions for a more sensitive product?

I used to get this where the underband of my bra should sit, for, as I don't wear one around the house my underboobwould stick to the top of my abdomen resulting in the same problem as yourself, especially in hot weather.Thankfully I don't get it now.
There are two things you can use to stop this and I wouldn't tell you if I hadn't gone through the same thing and tried these methods, so I do feel for you and hope I can help:

1.First of all wash and dry the affected area well, then use the cold blow on your hairdryer to dry it off some more. If you've had a bath wait until your skin has cooled down fully before trying the following.
2.Mix a couple of drops of tea tree with a small blob of moisturiser and gently apply to the affected area. To begin with it may sting a little due to the damp/fungal state of the skin. You need to do this 3 times the first week, then once a week thereafter to prevent the soreness returning.
You can also use surgical spirit on a cotton pad for the same thing, but again, it will sting a little the first time. But persevere if you can.
3.Surgical spirit applied on a cotton bud is also good for the navel as that is another area that can get red and sore in the same way. Again it may sting to begin with , but it does work.

I hope you have a great time with your friends and that it leaves you feeling uplifted with a sense of time well spent.

Don’t forget to hoover the mattress/bed too and put some baking soda on it first if you have it. Or febreeze.

Never hoovered my mattress/bed in my life or heard of anyone doing so 🤷🏼‍♀️