Personal hygiene

[Ohmywhat]

I'm so embarrassed, I can only really discuss this anonymously so please be gentle.

A friend who I've known for many many years has very sympathetically told me that I've let my personal hygiene slip. She's not wrong, my weight has steadily increased especially over the past two years and I'm really struggling. I don't know where to start.

We are supposed to be going away in a big group next weekend and now I feel I can't go. How can I knowing she thinks this?

Any advice? (apart from have a wash!) I know it seems so easy but I feel stuck and a bit panicky and overwhelmed.

@HoppingPavlova

Erm, washing bedding every few months is really not very hygienic. And generally a shower every other day would be a normal minimum. And no one has ever accused me of being a hygiene freak.

Didn't you read the OP? Saying you don't understand the issue is very dismissive.
Might I also add that you changing your bed linen so infrequently is pretty grim.

Wake up and run yourself a bath, OP, every morning.

I fall into depression and things involving water are the first things to go 😆

Now I wake up and shower, which means I spend 0 hours coaxing myself to get in. By the time my brain is awake, I’m drying off ready to start the day as a clean bean!

I clean myself, clean my space. Two rules. I’m trying to add eat a healthy breakfast as my third rule too.

Use bepantham and medicated talc to get on top of the skin rashes then make sure to use deodorant on everywhere with folds. So under your belly flap, in groin and under and between the breasts. These areas gather sweat and become very smelly quickly.

Also another one to recommend Mitchum. I use the roll on most the year but get the expensive gel one over summer.

Oh and use soap not shower gel in sweaty areas. I just use pears, shower gel seems to make me smell more. I use soap for cleaning then a nice shower gel as a quick rinse on top.

you can get body cloths and do a shower every morning ( you can get a hose that attached to a bath tap so that you can sit in the bath and wash. use a body cloth with Lots of proper soap (not shower gel) actual soap bars and really scrub private areas. When drying make sure you are completely dry as wet areas can create a very musty dirty smell and get bacterial problems.

When dry, use a really good deodrant.

Through out the day you can use body clothes to wash up under the arms or everytime you go to the toilet use wipes to make sure its really clean, Use sanitary towels in underwear if you get any leakage and replace these every few hours. make sure to clean hands properly, maybe even taking hand gel with you to use sporadically.

Used dry hair shampoo if your hair smells a little before you wash it, Wash bedding at least once a week and if you sweat a lot then change clothes halfway through the day or atleast your top. If you leak into your underwear then change your underwear too.

These things helped me through something i was going through x
Also a nice perfume but it may be better to ask the person what exactly you should do as in what is the actual problem, is it sweat/smell/ lack of beauty things or what?

Is your GP supportive over weight loss? You might be able to get gym subscriptions or a referral to an NHS dietician.

Have you thought about this?

There are support services for things like this.

@HoppingPavlova Bedlinen is supposed to be changed weekly. It gets full of sweat, dead skin and bacteria.

Weight gain and struggling suggest OP has far more going on than 'its not coz your fat', she never said its BECAUSE she gained weight.

OP may have depression, fatigue or other metal or health conditions that means the general stresses of having to clean, groom, primp and preen every single day so others think she is too 'their level' of cleanliness is too much.

also hygene is based in people OPINION, as long as op is suffering health issues she is hygenic, hygene litrally means to maintain your health and if OP is suffering health issues its a medical issue not a paint your toes and have a bath fix.

Some think if you dont wash your hair daily your unhygenic, some think if you dont shower daily your unhygenic, some think if dont shave your unhygenic, somethink if your dont wear 'smellies' your unhygenic, somethink if you wear the same jeans 2 days in a row your unhygenic, some think if you dont douch your unhygenic etc... but these are all nothing more than PERSONAL opinions.

I mean within 4 replies people are telling OP to get her nails done and a haircut as if that has ANYTHING to do with hygene at all.

Theres always so many people of health privilage that pop up on threads like these.

OP you don't have a shower OR hot water... this is the issue! Get it sorted! If you're in a HA property then they have to fix this surely?

*isnt suffering health issues

A mixture of 1% Hydrocortisone cream and Canesten for the sore skin, both readily available. Medipure body powder 100% talc free is great for keeping dry, very soothing and cooling especially in shoes. I used to get it in Savers, now Amazon. Daily shower is great when you've got dodgy knees, scrubby foot mat in the shower. Dove sensitive 'soap' is the best. Good luck. x

Lots of good advice OP but I do think getting a shower installed woudl be a huge help. I have no idea how anyoen is expected to manage without a shower, its too time consuming to run a bath daily, uses too much hot water and is not nice when its hot.
Do tell your HA you are struggling with mobility and the bath, maybe ask your GP to email them to this effect.
And yes to sorting out your feet, this will help your mood I am sure.

Tips from a woman about your size OP. Fill the bath and then step into it with your back to the tap end. Lower yourself slowly on to your knees taking the weight on the sides of the bath. when on your knees slowly pivot onto your bottom. This stops the loss of arm strength right at the end if you try to sit straight away and prevents tsunamis! Getting out reverse the process ie pivot up on to your knees and pull yourself up onto your feet using the bath sides.

I go to a chiropodist every 6 weeks for a talon trim. I can't reach over my belly to cut my nails.

Now the embarrassing bit. It can be difficult to wipe properly if your arms are not like Orangutans. There are many strategies (look on Youtube for some). This is where some sort of shower will come into its own. I am getting a pocket wipe aid for a festival I am going to soon - just to be sure I keep clean.

You've got this!

Meant to add link (if it works)

www.amazon.co.uk/Buckingham-Easywipe-Personal-Extending-Cleansing/dp/B075XJLTBQ/ref=sr_1_3?crid=1RNILY2XU4B47&keywords=buckingham+pocket+easy+wipe&qid=1659115389&sprefix=buckingham+pocket+easy+wipe%2Caps%2C93&sr=8-3

depression sucks
limited mobilty sucks

well done op for taking your friend's comments as a start to change.

I agree with previous posters that a gp appointment might be good for both your skin issues and mental health. possibly even physio to help with mobility.

you could also ask a pharmacist for advice regarding the skin sore.

also agree with others - baby steps. do one change each day.
start with having a bath (or bucket/jug wash) every morning. take extra care with your skin sores.

good luck. you are doing really well!

did your friend actually mean hygiene or how you look

noone needs to wear makeup thats just nonsense

i also use my knees to get out of th bath rather than arm strenght its much easier

For those suggesting wipes and dry shampoo etc I think this makes the problem worse as I'm guessing the OP already does this. These things only work very briefly until your next shower. I think the having a daily to do list is a great idea. Also, the PPs saying that they are fat and don't smell. For a start everyone's fat is distributed differently. Mines very equal all over so I can reach my feet but all bodies are different and some are out of proportion that's before you add in any illness or injury.
What are you thinking of the advice so far OP ? Does any of it seem do able? How mobile etc are you, I'm guessing as you were going away for the weekend you are fairly average in capability? Could some of the mobility worry be a sign of anxiety or depression and you are more capable than you think?

If you are finding it hard to get into the bath you can get one of these shower boards from Amazon or ask your GP for one.

Shower attachment from Amazon, Argos or Poundshop

To reach your feet in the shower, you can get one of those long-handled brushes or sponges from Amazon, Ikea, Argos or Superdrug. you can also soak your feet in warm water with a nice soap and use a long-handled shower sponge to wash your feet.

I don't think I'd be able to get a GP appointment, things have really changed there and I don't even know any of the doctors who work there now. Everything is done on the phone in a rush, last call I had was with a paramedic who whilst lovely, didn't know what was wrong and had to ask a GP to text me back later. I used to have a lovely female GP who I had seen in the past regarding my anxiety but I don't really feel up to talking to one I don't know.

The hot water has only been off since yesterday, the tank was making a burning type smell and I felt safer turning it off. I'll call them Monday and ask about a shower at the same time.

I've soaked my feet in some foot soak salts that I found and sprinkled a foot talc and clean socks on.

I've also washed my sore spot with the hibiscrub wash and used some sudocrem on it for now, I've ordered some of the canisten cream mentioned.

Thank you for all the lovely kind posts, I am finding them all really useful.

I've just put my lunch on and then I will go and see if I can find some clean bedding and change my sheets. If I can't then I'll wash these ones tomorrow. I've also ordered myself some new pillows in case the old ones were smelly.

You don’t need to fit a shower, you could put something like this on your bath taps and have a shower standing in the bath. I’m also fat with dodgy knees so I know what you mean about being worried about getting out.

www.argos.co.uk/product/4535014?clickSR=slp:term:shower%20hose%20attachment:4:82:2

I also find Mitchum deodorant is the best for preventing sweating

I'm so impressed with you @Ohmywhat You do sound depressed but even so you are taking the good advice on here and taking steps towards a positive change.

Well done to you and and also to your friend for being able to talk to you about such a sensitive issue. You must be a very nice person to have such a good mate.

You should try to find a way of seeing a GP. Nothing to be embarrassed about asking a male GP for support with weight loss.

OR you can use Mumsnet and go to the weight loss forum and get support there!

There's lots of help around online and in real life.

Apologies if this has already been mentioned but it might be worth giving towels a good hot wash and changing them regularly as well if you don't already do so. I tend to get quite sweaty and my bathroom doesn't help my towels dry quickly. They can develop a fusty smell which I can smell on myself sometimes. So maybe something to watch out for. Mitchum has helped a lot too.