Personal hygiene

[Ohmywhat]

I'm so embarrassed, I can only really discuss this anonymously so please be gentle.

A friend who I've known for many many years has very sympathetically told me that I've let my personal hygiene slip. She's not wrong, my weight has steadily increased especially over the past two years and I'm really struggling. I don't know where to start.

We are supposed to be going away in a big group next weekend and now I feel I can't go. How can I knowing she thinks this?

Any advice? (apart from have a wash!) I know it seems so easy but I feel stuck and a bit panicky and overwhelmed.

I agree with a shower attachment to use whilst standing in the bath.

No scalding/freezing if you test the temperature before putting directly onto yourself!

Self adhesive rail for a curtain.

Wash with Dettol anti bacterial soap

Too harsh on irritated skin

Ask chemist for an emollient cream, you can then wash under the folds of skin with that. Make sure you pat dry really well after and then gently apply some of the emollient cream.

Antibacterial soap is great, i use dettol.

I have the same problem from time to time. Also,under the boob bit.

Medicated talcum powder is your friend.
I used to use ordinary talc but the soreness would still happen, then I came across the medicated variety. What a difference! Stops the sweat and the soreness.

I'm.very big, around 19st I think. I've always been larger but about 15/16st. The rest has crept up during the past two years.

I can get in the bath but I do worry about not being able to get out! My knees aren't great! So often if I'm tired I will sit on the side (feet in) and wash from there.

I will call the HA on Monday, we currently don't have hot water as our boiler is playing up so thats not helping either but I can boil kettles. The hibiscrub I believe I already have some of that from a post surgery a while ago.

I have just made a Boots order with a few of the suggested products, thank you. And I've made a list for today. I don't have plans today so I'm going to have a go at getting on top of things.

Please be kind to your self. I think having a wash every day, is a good start. If you're struggling with your feet, go and get regular pedicure. I wouldn't assume your friends hygiene comment, is connected to your weight though.

Agree with the suggestions above, except Wrights Coal Tar soap. It smells like the disinfectant in a public toilet once on the skin, unless it has been changed in the last few years.

l think some of the problem is you clearly aren’t feeling good about yourself because of your weight and this is affecting your personal hygiene and making it feel like a chore.

l won’t put to wash more, clean your bedding because loads of people already have, l think these would all help solve the immediate problem but not long term. I think on the sensitive part of your body you should use a barrier cream to stop your skin rubbing together to stop the skin chaving.

l think you have a great friend, after you have got over your embarrassment, which we would all feel and she probably wasn’t trying to cause, why not ask her for help with your weight, could she go on walks with you? you could do thc25k just walking not running,it’s amazing how much better you feel after exercise, l know how hard it is to try and do something by yourself. Maybe then this would help you figure out what has contributed to you putting weight on, as you would be chatting,hopefully it will then help you to take more care of yourself and then it will be less of a chore and you will be back to your old-self in a while. Good luck to you. Go on the weekend away and enjoy it.

I would definitely try and get a shower head put in.

Think of all of this positively. I feel really good when I've cleaned my teeth, had my morning shower, put my deodorant on and got dressed. I feel fresh and ready to start the day.

Then a lovely hot shower or bath in the evening, pjs on and time to relax.

You can still go away. You can easily make yourself clean before you go. Start with a routine now with a bath in the morning (you could just have a shallow bath), teeth brushed etc. When you've got in to a routine, I'm sure you'll feel good.

I get the thing of feeling overwhelmed, I get it with housework 'oh my god but I've just washed the dishes and now there are more?!?' kind of thing.

I think your friend must be referring to your weight gain and hygiene (not saying that that two are related, for most people they are not, but they seem to be for you) rather than makeup etc, if you don't usually wear it anyway. So start with washing daily and deodorant. Make that your one priority and if you need to get a shower attachment then do that. Speak to your housing association, things can be done if there are mobility issues and that's what you are describing. You're not in the right headspace, it sounds like, to think about losing weight - so forget that and try to love and respect the body you have now. Treat it kindly.

Also - podiatrist! I went to one for the first time a few weeks ago, they don't give a shit what state your feet are in and will cut your nails etc if you need it too. It wasn't even expensive really.

I'll pick up on the laundry thing. Make sure your machine is clean- you can buy a pack of cleaner from supermarkets and run thst through. Then after that keep up with regular maintenance washes.

Wash things like bedding and towels as hot as you can and use powder detergent which is more efficient than liquids. Bio if you are not sensitive to it.

My disabled adult son is very sweaty and sometimes I think that a regular wash doesn't get the smell out of his clothes. So they go through on a 40° cycle, bio powder,and dettol sanitising liquid. If necessary they'll go through a second time.

Agree, avoid washing liquid or laundry pods as they seem to leave a film on the clothes or bedding and hold odour,

LuckilyI have a new washing machine, literally two weeks old so I will keep on top of the cleaning of that and I do use bio liquitabs, I'll take a look at the powder.

If you don’t really like make up, I can not enough recommend Origins vitazing tinted moisturizer. It is expensive but you only need a tiny bit and your skin is glowing. It is truly a life changer. If your skin is really dry use a good moisturizer first. Again very expensive, but makes immediately all the difference to how you feel and look, Kiehl’s midnight recovery oil. Again only a few drops. I even use their cloud cream after the oil. The recovery midnight cleansing oil is also very good. Morning and evening.

My husband and teenage son have found mine and now I have to hide it. 😅

And invest in a good electric toothbrush. I bought the oral B io4, and teeth feel seriously clean. Especially the ’White teeth’ setting. I had another cheaper one before, but this is twice as good in how clean your teeth feel. And it’s also expensive, but I figure so are dentist bills..

www.boots.com/origins-vita-zing-energy-boosting-moisturizer-with-mangosteen-1-7-fl-oz-50ml-10114983

www.boots.com/kiehls-midnight-recovery-concentrate-50ml-10303392

www.boots.com/kiehls-midnight-recovery-botanical-cleansing-oil-175ml-10303450

Think of it this way: if it is about pure hygiene (and not 'grooming') she must think a lot of you and must value your friendship to risk an embarrassing moment and tell you. I think it's a mark that she absolutely does want to preserve your close friendship. If I thought of someone as a casual acquaintance, I wouldn't tell them something like that.

But honestly OP, please don't worry too much. Everyone smells a bit sometimes. And we're more aware than ever about the causes for why that can happen - i.e. people going through a bit of a tough time perhaps. all the best

There's an Avene soap bar which is very gentle and would be good on sore skin.

This one, though it's probably not soap. Very gentle and effective though, and just a lovely texture to use.

There is no correlation between being fat and being unclean. I'm fat and very clean, thanks very much.

Also, I think Nivea Soft body moisturizer smells clean and lovely, but that’s a personal preference I guess. 🙂

OP, this is all fixable.

I am in a similar position at the minute. Not so much hygiene but definitely self care. My skin is terrible, my hair grey and dry, nails and skin look terrible etc.

I have a child free day today so im
going to colour my hair, sort my eye browns, do a facial, shave my legs etc and hopefully feel much better and on top of things.

I hope you feel better too after your pamper day

I recommend using a bar of soap dove especially before using shower gel. One of my sisters had really bad BO issues (she’s a size 8 and works out allll the time) she did shower after working out and I had to be the one to have a convo with her to let her know she smelt and turns out she used shower gel etc I told her she needs use bar soap to clean then the shower gel as shower gel often doesn’t take away the sweat etc.

When my FIL got very fat he couldn't quite
reach to wipe himself after the loo. Carers had
to do it. Could it be anything like that?

I recommend Mitchum deodorant, and if you're not brushing your teeth daily your breath probably isn't great. Why don't you book an appointment with a hygenist for a clean and polish and in the mean time but an electric toothbrush and use twice daily, and some floss !

You've had lots of nice help here.

I agree weight gains and problems washing are signs of low mood.

See the GP / nurse practitioner about the problem in the skin folds as it will need treating either with a steroid or antifungal or antibacterial and there are loads of preparations for that. And they will give you a barrier cream.

Enjoy you weekend away and there will probably be a lovely hot shower!