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Original poster

To bring a child into the world currently

149 replies

Autumnwater87 · 28/07/2022 17:01

I feel in such a pickle at the moment. I thought i wanted kids for most of my life it’s what I imagined. However this last year I can’t stop thinking about what an absolute S#%t show it seems to be at the moment, potential of war more likely, climate change seems to be more obvious, rising costs the list goes on it’s bloody doom and gloom. The thought of bringing a child into this at times breaks my heart, then I see loads of people optimistically and excitedly trying to conceive and getting pregnant on here and in real life friends and family etc, then I think, this must all be in my head look at all these people having babies or trying for babies am I just being dramatic? I don’t like the thought of not having kids but am I being selfish or am I just overthinking and people believe everything will settle back down?

OP posts:
Getintoyou · 28/07/2022 17:04

I dunno. Mine are still quite young and when they say they're going to get married and have children, I try and suggest alternatives subtly! I tell them to just go out and enjoy their lives as much as possible. I just can't see their lives being like ours.

KleineDracheKokosnuss · 28/07/2022 17:06

Times are always hard and in history people have had it way worse than we do now. Humans always face challenges. Positive and proactive people will ensure we meet our challenges. It’s only if everyone goes doom and gloom that we will fail.

stop watching the news.

Watchthesunrise · 28/07/2022 17:07

Children provide one way of making the world a bit brighter and more optimistic 🐣

CantaloupeMelon · 28/07/2022 17:07

These are genuine things to worry about OP. I think for most people, the desire for children overcomes them, but maybe for you that's not the case.

MadameCholetsDirtySecret · 28/07/2022 17:11

OP if I was considering starting a family now, I would be just like you.

puddingandsun · 28/07/2022 17:16

A lot of these influenced our decision to stop at one...

I don't know.

Anothernamechangeplease · 28/07/2022 17:26

KleineDracheKokosnuss · 28/07/2022 17:06

Times are always hard and in history people have had it way worse than we do now. Humans always face challenges. Positive and proactive people will ensure we meet our challenges. It’s only if everyone goes doom and gloom that we will fail.

stop watching the news.

This.

Around the time when I was born, we were in the cold war era and there was a very real risk of nuclear war. Conflict was raging in Northern Ireland. There was a major oil crisis. Do I wish that my parents had looked at the doom and gloom on the news and decided not to bother with kids? Of course I don't!!

BeanieTeen · 28/07/2022 17:30

You live in a 1st world country in a world that, for all its appearance of being a ‘shit show’, is safer than human kind has ever seen it. What exactly do you want the world to settle back down to?

emmaluggs · 28/07/2022 17:31

It’s difficult they are genuine concerns, but children are the future. I have 2 and to be honest the doom and gloom have stopped me at 2, I want to treasure them both and be happy with my lot

BertieBotts · 28/07/2022 17:34

Things are generally getting better rather than worse. There is always some disaster being catastrophised in the news. Look at gapminder Foundation 🙂

BrownHairedQuirk · 28/07/2022 17:34

I’m on the fence with this one. I won’t have children and this is one of the biggest reasons, I feel like everything is grim atm and it’s only getting worse. And sometimes I do wish my parents hadn’t had me. However, as a pp said, children often have a way of bringing light into the world and the younger generations are much more clued up on issues than my generation ever was and are likely to improve things!

Kindofcrunchy · 28/07/2022 17:35

The ongoing threat of global warming has stopped all my environmentally conscientious friends from wanting kids. I'm the only one in my friendship group with them, and it don't half make you feel irresponsible/guilty/worried. That being said, I wouldn't go back and not have mine given the chance.

disappointed101 · 28/07/2022 17:39

I think social media, the news in your face 24/7 and doom mongering press has a lot to answer for. When I was growing up there was the ozone hole that was going to fry us, y2k bug, 2x Iraq war, alleged ice age looming, mad cow disease among others. That was before the internet. Imagine having those now in the times of instant news. My point is there are always existential challenges. We can either hand wring and give up or we can be part of a solution. I definitely think we have to look after our planet more and we are. Remember when there was no recycling, no reusable carrier bags? There are lots of positive initiatives such as rewinding, the ocean clean up. Try reading positive news.com and good news network.

hellmannsnotheinz · 28/07/2022 17:40

If you decide to, then bring them up to look after their planet and have compassion for others around them. As a op said, children are the future and are the ones who will be able to make a difference

disappointed101 · 28/07/2022 17:40

Rewilding I mean

Original poster
Autumnwater87 · 28/07/2022 17:41

BeanieTeen · 28/07/2022 17:30

You live in a 1st world country in a world that, for all its appearance of being a ‘shit show’, is safer than human kind has ever seen it. What exactly do you want the world to settle back down to?

I don’t know exactly what I would want to settle down but reading this forum and people worrying about how they will feed and keep their kids warm currently is a great concern, so energy and food prices and availability would likely be one thing.

OP posts:
Original poster
Autumnwater87 · 28/07/2022 17:42

Thank you for the suggestions I will have a look at them

OP posts:
Original poster
Autumnwater87 · 28/07/2022 17:48

hellmannsnotheinz · 28/07/2022 17:40

If you decide to, then bring them up to look after their planet and have compassion for others around them. As a op said, children are the future and are the ones who will be able to make a difference

Absolutely I would be doing this. I think there is a lot more awareness now and I already know that I will be getting 2nd hand and reusing where possible. I think the last 2.5 years has given me a bit of a bashing and maybe dampened my spirit a little.

OP posts:
mydogisthebest · 28/07/2022 17:49

Me and DH chose not to have children because even 40 years ago we thought the world a pretty shit place (it's even shittier now) and very overpopulated (far more overpopulated now).

I think anyone choosing to bring children into the world now is crazy and selfish. I do think though that probably the majority of people just don't even give it a seconds thought.

Me and DH discussed at length about whether to have children or not. Most of the people I know with children either say that they didn't really discussed it or the pregnancy/pregnancies were accidents!

Anothernamechangeplease · 28/07/2022 17:55

I'm not a climate change denier by any means - quite the contrary, in fact. It's a major issue and I wish that governments around the world would take courageous action to limit the impact. And I absolutely think that families should limit the number of children that they have for environmental reasons.

However, when I see people talking about rising prices and the war in Ukraine as reasons not to have children, with the implication that life is just so awful now that it isn't even worth living any more, I can't help but wonder if they are rather lacking in the perspective of history. Things are bad now, yes, but they have been much, much worse throughout most of human history.

I mean, if you're worried about cost of living and feeling that you don't want to reproduce right now because you can't afford kids at the present time, that's a perfectly rational decision. Delay it until you're in a better economic position, by all means. But all this handwringing about how you couldn't possibly bring a child into such an awful world...I just don't get it! Life is actually much easier now than it was for the vast majority of our ancestors.

AlwaysAnonymous · 28/07/2022 18:01

I understand where you’re coming from OP but I think there’s always going to be something bad going on in the world - if you hold out waiting for it to get better I’m afraid you would be waiting forever.

Spinasaurus · 28/07/2022 18:06

BeanieTeen · 28/07/2022 17:30

You live in a 1st world country in a world that, for all its appearance of being a ‘shit show’, is safer than human kind has ever seen it. What exactly do you want the world to settle back down to?

This. I still remember when I visited Cairo a decade ago. There were ten people piled in the back of a Toyota pickup truck driving past us on the dual carriageway. Hundreds of houses with gardens piled high with rubbish.

People in this country cry poverty when they have to start shopping in Aldi and Lidl.

BeanieTeen · 28/07/2022 18:13

I don’t know exactly what I would want to settle down but reading this forum and people worrying about how they will feed and keep their kids warm currently is a great concern, so energy and food prices and availability would likely be one thing.

But that’s other people. Are you struggling to make ends meet at the moment? By all means make a sensible decision based on your own personal circumstances - but there are always people who struggle to feed, clothe and house their children, that’s not new. Many people are struggling badly. Many people are having to turn to food banks and that is a problem. But more people seemed to be concerned about the rising cost of a McDonald’s cheeseburger this week, it even made the news 🙄 while in Somalia they are dealing with actual famine…

titchy · 28/07/2022 18:18

BeanieTeen · 28/07/2022 17:30

You live in a 1st world country in a world that, for all its appearance of being a ‘shit show’, is safer than human kind has ever seen it. What exactly do you want the world to settle back down to?

This. Have you ever read a history book? The world of today - the wealthy west at any rate, has the kind of healthcare and life span that would be the stuff of fantasy only a few generations ago. Plague, famine, war. All regular occurrences of our past. Nothing of that is new (sadly). But a whole heap of things are vastly better.

Life goes on. Your children will be fine. Their children will be fine, as will their children. Some aspects of their lives might be a bit tough for a while. But so might anyones. Overall their lives will be far better than lives of the past.

Original poster
Autumnwater87 · 28/07/2022 18:18

Spinasaurus · 28/07/2022 18:06

This. I still remember when I visited Cairo a decade ago. There were ten people piled in the back of a Toyota pickup truck driving past us on the dual carriageway. Hundreds of houses with gardens piled high with rubbish.

People in this country cry poverty when they have to start shopping in Aldi and Lidl.

Show quote history

I don’t think people wondering how they will look after their kids with rising costs and wondering how they will feed and keep their kids warm who say they earn a decent income. Is someone crying poverty.
Last week there were loads of posts worrying about global warming due to the high temperatures
There’s probably hundreds of posts on here about people genuinely worried about their kids future and I feel like I’m being bashed and made to feel stupid for being concerned, for actually considering the reality before bringing a child into this world.

OP posts: