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Original poster

Sister's boyfriend thinks I need some ambition

104 replies

PotteryMap · 22/07/2022 20:46

Just feeling a bit low about what he said

DSis has a new boyfriend, been together a few months. Met him for the first time last week.

He came for a Sunday roast (my parents did him a Vegan one especially as he's on a flexi diet)

He was telling us about how he's been saving for a house since the age of 17. He's now 25.

He asked me about my house, said it was really lovely. I said oh you've seen! He said it was my sister showing pics

He asked how much my mortgage was per month. I said it was not mortgaged, but an assured tenancy through a housing association. It's a lifetime tenancy property

He asked when I would be buying. I said I probably never will - it has 3 beds. It is a lifetime tenancy.

He said 'yes but won't you be looking to better yourself and buy something eventually' I said that isn't obtainable really. The house is mine due to my son's disability. I will be a carer for as long as I physically can for him. And it's my daughters home too

He said 'I think you lack ambition Rach. You have potential'

My sister nodded along!

It was left at that and then no further digs were made at me. But I still feel a bit sad about it

No point to this thread really other than to voice my feelings

OP posts:
McConkeysPlate · 22/07/2022 20:48

Well, he sounds like a prize cock.

Hoppinggreen · 22/07/2022 20:48

Well he’s a knob isn’t he.
Hopefully your sister will realise before too long

Perple · 22/07/2022 20:48

Just his ignorance and lack of experience. Don’t take it personally. A lifetime tenancy is gold dust especially if you have a disabled son to care for

SwedishEdith · 22/07/2022 20:49

He's a tit.

Original poster
PotteryMap · 22/07/2022 20:49

Thank you

I definitely get a 'too good to be true' feeling from him

For example he's constantly tagging my sister in motivational quotes. Had her take up running, alongside him. She doesn't like it so uses her bike

He seems to have changed her quite a bit but she does seem happy

OP posts:
LightDrizzle · 22/07/2022 20:50

He’s a right lbellend.
Oh dear!

MrsTerryPratchett · 22/07/2022 20:51

You won the lottery with a nice house that's assured.

And you entered that lottery by caring for your children, even though that's bloody hard.

I'd have struggled not to tell him to fuck off if I'd been there and I'm not even you or your sister.

Sounds like an utter nobber.

justthecat · 22/07/2022 20:51

ask him his bank details and out goings, he’s a moron

takeitandleaveit · 22/07/2022 20:52

She might seem happy (in front of you), but deep down I bet she's not entirely without misgivings.

He's a knob, anyway.

ComDummings · 22/07/2022 20:53

PotteryMap · 22/07/2022 20:49

Thank you

I definitely get a 'too good to be true' feeling from him

For example he's constantly tagging my sister in motivational quotes. Had her take up running, alongside him. She doesn't like it so uses her bike

He seems to have changed her quite a bit but she does seem happy

Tagging anyone in motivational quotes automatically makes him a dick. Hopefully your sister will tire of him soon. Don’t let him bring you down. People like him are toxic IMO

Beachsidesunset · 22/07/2022 20:53

This reply has been withdrawn

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

CanofCant · 22/07/2022 20:55

What an arsehole. Fuck him. Don't give him anymore headspace. You are exactly where you are meant to be. Honestly, as soon as you described him and his posturing I rolled my eyes heavenwards and they've yet to return.

It's not you. It's him.

RandomMess · 22/07/2022 20:55

🙄

Basically he's ignorant to life when disabilities are involved and the level of poverty that usually accompanies it.

TooTiredToSleepRightNow · 22/07/2022 20:56

He sounds like he could turn out to be controlling or abusive in some way. I could be reading too much into it. Keep an eye on your sis. Hopefully she’ll get rid.

Original poster
PotteryMap · 22/07/2022 20:57

My sister told me, with a straight face, that he wanted to adopt a child from another country but was questioning the ethics of the air mileage! With a straight face! I told her he needs to give his head a wobble and she said he was just really considerate

Argh

OP posts:
littleburn · 22/07/2022 20:57

He's your sister's current boyfriend. His opinion on your life is of exactly zero relevance or interest. That he thinks it is shows what an insufferable prick he is.

wellhelloitsme · 22/07/2022 20:57

PotteryMap · 22/07/2022 20:57

My sister told me, with a straight face, that he wanted to adopt a child from another country but was questioning the ethics of the air mileage! With a straight face! I told her he needs to give his head a wobble and she said he was just really considerate

Argh

This made me full body cringe.

He sounds like a right prick, OP!

wellhelloitsme · 22/07/2022 20:58

littleburn · 22/07/2022 20:57

He's your sister's current boyfriend. His opinion on your life is of exactly zero relevance or interest. That he thinks it is shows what an insufferable prick he is.

This. The self importance of saying all that to, especially you this early. I mean it'd be dickish at any point but right at the start?! Bleurgh.

EmmaH2022 · 22/07/2022 20:58

PotteryMap · 22/07/2022 20:57

My sister told me, with a straight face, that he wanted to adopt a child from another country but was questioning the ethics of the air mileage! With a straight face! I told her he needs to give his head a wobble and she said he was just really considerate

Argh

So...she wasn't horrified by his nosey questions and rude comments?

SkirridHill · 22/07/2022 20:59

He sounds like an enormous arsehole & I have no doubt that, when your sister finally sees sense and dumps the dickhead, you'll be able to enjoy many an hour laughing with her about what a fucking twat he was.

Original poster
PotteryMap · 22/07/2022 20:59

@EmmaH2022 no, she was not

But she is an impressionable 20 year old

This boyfriend is my age

OP posts:
Morechocmorechoc · 22/07/2022 21:00

Wow how very very rude and arrogant. Any decent well brought up person would not have asked such personal questions in the first place let alone judge. Don't feel sad about what he said, worry about how he is going to impact your sister without her realising. If he was my boyfriend I would have told him to stop talking not nod along.

Hawkins001 · 22/07/2022 21:02

He sounds better than some of the partners of various mumsnetters,

EscapeRoomToTheSun · 22/07/2022 21:03

Lord what a cock. Probably a reason why he can't get a woman his own age.

PrachtStück · 22/07/2022 21:05

PotteryMap · 22/07/2022 20:49

Thank you

I definitely get a 'too good to be true' feeling from him

For example he's constantly tagging my sister in motivational quotes. Had her take up running, alongside him. She doesn't like it so uses her bike

He seems to have changed her quite a bit but she does seem happy

Had a friend like that. New girlfriend came in and within weeks he was vegan, concerned about a million topics he’d previously not even heard of, moving to the opposite end of the country, cut contact with some family members, etc… Basically he became a whole new person.

I truly believe they’re still happy together. But it’s just a shame because he lost a lot of friends in the process. We hear from him once a year.