Sister's boyfriend thinks I need some ambition

[PotteryMap]

Just feeling a bit low about what he said

DSis has a new boyfriend, been together a few months. Met him for the first time last week.

He came for a Sunday roast (my parents did him a Vegan one especially as he's on a flexi diet)

He was telling us about how he's been saving for a house since the age of 17. He's now 25.

He asked me about my house, said it was really lovely. I said oh you've seen! He said it was my sister showing pics

He asked how much my mortgage was per month. I said it was not mortgaged, but an assured tenancy through a housing association. It's a lifetime tenancy property

He asked when I would be buying. I said I probably never will - it has 3 beds. It is a lifetime tenancy.

He said 'yes but won't you be looking to better yourself and buy something eventually' I said that isn't obtainable really. The house is mine due to my son's disability. I will be a carer for as long as I physically can for him. And it's my daughters home too

He said 'I think you lack ambition Rach. You have potential'

My sister nodded along!

It was left at that and then no further digs were made at me. But I still feel a bit sad about it

No point to this thread really other than to voice my feelings

What a dickhead. He'll get dumped eventually so I wouldn't worry

Five years, based on various mumsnetters is not.much of a gap

Oh he’s one of them… going on about money and property at every opportunity.
it sounds like he has zero personality and is constructing various “interests” to give himself one.

hopefully your dsis gets bored very shortly!

Well hopefully he doesn't marry into your family. He sounds very arrogant.

Took me a while to learn that when you have an SEN you never ever waste time on 'advice' from people who don't. He's not in your situation, he has no idea what you are capable of, caring for your child day to day and how brilliant an achievement that is. You have a life time assured tenancy. That's great. There should be lots more places like this available. Buying overpriced shoddy housing shouldn;t be the ultimate measure of success in life.

Asking you how much your mortgage is? How incredibly vulgar (and rude). And the you lack ambition'/'have potential' thing - he sounds like a child thinking he's making a terribly clever remark.

Regarding the rest of it, he's clearly not very bright alongside his lack of social graces, but he's only really parroting this weird belief that's rampant in the UK, that owning a house turns you into some kind of superior being.

Hope you told your sister that her new bf is a knob.

Cheeky sod!

Forgot to say, he sounds like my ex. The narcissist. Hope she gives him the old heave ho before any damage is done.

Nailed it in the first comment.
well done.

Stupid f-ing idiot has no real life experience and has no idea how hard it is with children, let alone a child with disabilities (I have a child with no disabilities, although is in assessment for ADHD, but I struggle enough, so I can’t imagine what it’s like to have to care for extra needs). If you’ve got a secure home that you and your family is happy in, then you’ve done really well. Don’t feel like you have to explain yourself to him, owning a house doesn’t indicate your level of aspiration. He sounds jealous tbh. Has he lived with mummy and daddy while saving by any chance?

The aspersions on your ambition was grim, the pontificating on adopting an overseas child and the air milage /environmental consequences equals a grade A cunt with no brain.

I'd struggle not to laugh

Asshole

All of this. But without the earth or depth.

Warmth FFS

When you say ‘flexi diet’ what does that mean?

very early in your post I realised he was a knob. Don’t let him rattle you!

What a throbber
He needs kicking into touch

Lazy, uncommitted vegan.

For future, you don't need to be a polite people pleaser and answer rude, invasive questions, or silently accept unsolicited advice. When people are being that stupid and arrogant, it's perfectly OK to be rude back.

The only reason you ha e to feel sad is that your sister is going out with a cock.

Anyway, great job from you on making a secure home for you children. Someone has their priorities right and it's not cockbro.

I gave up when I read ‘He came for a Sunday roast (my parents did him a Vegan one especially as he's on a flexi diet’

Don’t waste you time or energy thinking about what he said.

Odds on he's into Crypto too. Generally that sort.

That like some days, when it suits, it's im a vegan, e.g. to impress or a political cause, ect then other days it's e.g. Tasty steak cooking, so they will eat it ?

Bizarre, what a rude and stupid young man. Why would you want to leave a lovely secure home?