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Original poster

What's the funniest thing you have ever read on MN?

430 replies

Noglassjustthebottleandastraw · 08/07/2022 00:15

A few weeks ago there was a thread that was really funny. I literally couldn't move for laughing at one of the comments. Think it was something like "did you smash your tits on the keyboard and press send" most days since, this comment has popped into my mind and made me laugh so much.

So who ever posted that comment thanks so much 💐

What's the funniest thing you have ever read on MN?

OP posts:
ARatherAwkwardOuting · 08/07/2022 20:20

3luckystars You're very welcome.

Theala · 08/07/2022 20:40

Northernsoullover · 08/07/2022 05:23

This was me!! The posed baby 😂 it still makes me and my mum giggle. He's 17 now.

Show quote history

I read that a few weeks after my Mum died and absolutely cried laughing in bed. Dh came bounding up the stairs to comfort me and I was laughing so much, I couldn't even explain to him that I wasn't crying crying. So thanks for that. 😄

AintNobodyHereButUsChickens · 08/07/2022 21:20

Squiff70 · 08/07/2022 17:16

Please explain!

Don't wombats produce cube-shaped poos or something?

Show quote history

@Squiff70 It's nothing to do with Wombats 😁 iirc the OP had taken in a parcel for a neighbour, OPs child was autistic (I think?) and they opened the neighbours package which was one of those cube shaped footstools and... covered it in poo. I believe it was one of those with lots of intricate stitching on and poo was in all the stitching and everything.

ReneBumsWombats · 08/07/2022 21:24

Did someone mention wombats?

AintNobodyHereButUsChickens · 08/07/2022 21:25

@Squiff70 however, this might be the one people mean!

What's the funniest thing you have ever read on MN?
PresdidentOfTheOldFogiesUnion · 08/07/2022 21:26

Squiff70 · 08/07/2022 17:02

I know right? When my partner got home from work about 8.20pm last night I asked him to bring the washing on before it got 'darked on'. I was busy wrestling a toddler so hadn't had chance to do it earlier. It's just such a hilarious thing to think, let alone say!

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It's wonderfully batshit, but makes perfect sense all at the same time. Whoever came out with that one is someone I'd want to be friends with.

BalloonSlayer · 08/07/2022 21:43

I thought the cube of poo was from the "memorable poos in inappropriate places" thread when a poster's DC had managed to poo in a supermarket trolley and the wiring had cut it into cubes.

CandidaAlbicans2 · 08/07/2022 21:58

The one with people having sex in a bush, someone suggested it was foxes and the OP replied, "Foxes don't ask for a finger up the bum".
😂

Bloke who came on and started an AMA thread, declaring himself an IT specialist who wanted to assist the women of MN. Predictably got a bit of a kicking, but the funniest comment was ‘Thank god you’re here - up until now I’d just been bashing my tits on the keyboard and hoping for the best’.

That was a great one! 😂
www.mumsnet.com/talk/parenting/2307274-I-am-everything-you-hate-about-people-on-the-internet-I-am-here-to-help

There were great comments on the Brian from Hull yoni massage thread, and some inspired name changes like YoniMitchell and OnlyTheYoni 😁
www.mumsnet.com/talk/mumsnet_classics/1729276-Yoni-Vaginal-Massage

And every time I think of the user QueeferSutherland I laugh 😆

EarringsandLipstick · 08/07/2022 22:15

AintNobodyHereButUsChickens · 08/07/2022 07:51

This thread, where OP looked after her friends 3yr old for a weekend Grin www.mumsnet.com/talk/mumsnet_classics/1852343-Well-That-went-well-didnt-it

That's a fabulous thread, just read it & enjoyed it a lot!

the80sweregreat · 08/07/2022 22:17

Someone who was having a one night stand and the man said ' drink from my fountain ' it put her off! ..
Made me chuckle 🤭.

Beetr00t · 08/07/2022 22:33

dodobookends · 08/07/2022 14:35

The recent live parking thread from a street in a Hertfordshire town where drivers had ignored 'no parking' signs due to imminent roadworks. Their cars were being removed by workmen and hoisted onto trucks. The OP, accompanied by her giant dog, was taking as-it-happens action photos from her window of the ensuing chaos and posting them on here.

Don't forget the amazing diagrams which included little hard hat wearing workmen!

The best part of that thread was that it was real, completely with live action photos.

EarringsandLipstick · 08/07/2022 22:45

The best part of that thread was that it was real, completely with live action photos.

It was great. The build up as person after person ignored the signs & walked off leaving their cars, then arriving back to them...gone, having been towed!

TigerDroveAgain · 08/07/2022 22:48

ZenNudist · 08/07/2022 07:58

There used to be some genuinely funny posters in the old days. I remember one and I think she went on a date that involved a penguin pond. Her other threads were gold. She seemed genuine. Nowadays there's so many using mumsnet for creative writing you don't get that. You do still get funny responses that crease me up.

I don't think sistene Chapel screamer was real but her thread was a lot more real than some of the long running threads on marital breakdown, life after divorce with a crowd of acolytes.

I was the person who went on the penguin date, it was v funny: but the poster you’re thinking of was Shiney, very witty

Changechangychange · 08/07/2022 22:48

the80sweregreat · 08/07/2022 22:17

Someone who was having a one night stand and the man said ' drink from my fountain ' it put her off! ..
Made me chuckle 🤭.

There was a whole thread of creepily inappropriate stuff men have said to you in bed. It was half hilarious and half skin crawlingly awful.

Squiff70 · 08/07/2022 23:17

AintNobodyHereButUsChickens · 08/07/2022 21:25

@Squiff70 however, this might be the one people mean!

I've hurt my stomach muscles laughing at that. I hadn't seen that before. Thanks for sharing 🤣

Squiff70 · 08/07/2022 23:49

FFS. I just read the comment about the people having sex in the bush and the OP's response to the suggestion that it might be foxes. I remember that thread from when it was posted originally but had (somehow) forgotten about it. I'm 8 months pregnant with almost zero bladder control when I laugh. It didn't end well and I've just spent over 40 minutes washing myself, changing my clothes, scrubbing the sofa AND the floor on the way to the bathroom. Much to DP's amusement who sat there munching crisps through the whole thing. When I finally composed myself enough to tell him what was so hilarious, he choked on his crisps laughing.

LemonJuiceFromConcentrate · 08/07/2022 23:50

Beetr00t · 08/07/2022 22:33

Don't forget the amazing diagrams which included little hard hat wearing workmen!

The best part of that thread was that it was real, completely with live action photos.

Show quote history

Oh I would love to see this, even though it’s not live any more! Is it still up, can anyone link?

Ishacoco · 09/07/2022 00:00

Another one! When someone was giving their girlfriend oral sex and she accidentally farted. He then said "Blimey love, you just gave me a centre parting." 😂😂😂😂

TheHateIsNotGood · 09/07/2022 00:04

Another one here for "snapped and farted" - it was so randomly placed within the post, I had to double-check that I'd read the OP right.

Closely followed by "screaming at the Cistene Chapel" - what's happened to MN eh? - it's all just childcare, EBF, Mat Leave stuff now.

LemonJuiceFromConcentrate · 09/07/2022 00:05

ah I’ve just found the cars-getting-towed thread mentioned above, if anyone else wants to read it:

www.mumsnet.com/talk/mumsnet_classics/4535168-does-parking-on-a-closed-road-count-as-a-live-parking-thread?reply=116794953

APJ1 · 09/07/2022 00:13

crazybeelady · 08/07/2022 02:01

The one where a tradie working at the OPs house did a poo in a box and her dog ate it. The tradie then came back looking for it and was in a panic unable to find it all while the OP was watching and wondering whether to tell him she found it and put it in the bin for him 😂

I would love to read that thread, just the description had me laughing a lot! I couldn't find it through googling so could anyone share the link?

Mookie81 · 09/07/2022 01:13

ParadiseLaundry · 08/07/2022 09:34

There was one thread about terrible holiday experiences and one poster said they went somewhere and the weather was terrible and the resort kept playing a song with the lyrics 'if you're scared motherfucker go to church' and by the end of the holiday everyone, even the kids were singing it. 😂

I'm in a cafe and doubled over laughing writing this and the owner has just asked what I'm laughing at but I'll feel stupid explaining 😂

I'm in bed laughing like Mutley and my husband is rubbing my back because he thinks it's my chesty cough! 😂

stillvicarinatutu · 09/07/2022 02:12

Oh god the yoni massage thread 😂

stillvicarinatutu · 09/07/2022 02:14

"My yoni says Noni "

Hiulldad . Asking the ladies of mn if they would like a
Yoni massage. (Ie - a wank)

APJ1 · 09/07/2022 02:37

@ParadiseLaundry I can't find the thread you're talking about but I just had to look up that song anyway! Here it is for anyone else who wants to get it stuck in their head.