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Original poster

Did you marry, or are you with your partner for money?

121 replies

marblekid · 20/06/2022 19:20

I know this is a question most people would never answer in the flesh but I wondered if any of you have married someone you didn't fancy/love etc just because they had a bulging wallet?

OP posts:

WhatALoadOfWankiness · 20/06/2022 19:25

No
HTH

RufustheFloralmissingreindeer · 20/06/2022 20:05

Nope

Dinosauratemydaffodils · 20/06/2022 20:21

No. Although I did consider it a few times. Number 1 was 13 years older than me with an absolutely fabulous house which had been in his family centuries. Whilst staring at the painted ceiling in the master bedroom one night I realised that whilst I liked his horses and his library, I didn't actually like him.

Number 2 was Italian and violent. Turns out I didn't actually like being spanked as much as I thought I might (at least not by him).

In my defence I was very young, under 22 in both cases and I thought I wanted a father figure.

Dh turned out to have a lot more money than I realised but I married him because he's my best mate and he makes me laugh.

Bananalanacake · 20/06/2022 20:22

No, but I did push for us to get married because DH is self employed and he saves thousands in tax by being married. We had been together for 12 years and had 2 DC by then so I thought it was time, (and I was always reading on MN how important it is to be legally protected when you have DC).

purpledagger · 20/06/2022 21:21

An ex-acquaintance comes from a culture which has arranged marriages and she once said that as she knew she was going to have an arranged marriage, she may as well go for someone with money and she specifically asked her parents to introduce her to men with money.

She was very pragmatic about it and I don't get the impression they were unhappy.

picklemewalnuts · 20/06/2022 21:30

No, but we probably stay together because it makes sound financial sense.

SarahAndQuack · 20/06/2022 21:34

No, I've done the exact opposite! I married my ex because I thought it would be the right thing to do; he cleaned up during the divorce. I then me my DP who has many good points, but who is utterly terrible with money. She had massive debts when we met.

youlightupmyday · 21/06/2022 03:04

I did, ish. I married someone with a good j9b, with great prospects,,who was a nice and kind person but whom I struggled to fancy. I did warn him.of that. I was attracted to the stability. He earned mid 6 figures.

We were married almost 20 years and had a good life.

I am now much happier with my new partner, who I fancy and love like crazy.

echt · 21/06/2022 04:15

One of the reasons I married my late DH was because it made the pensions easier to deal with. We loved each other too, but financial considerations came into it.

GlamorousHeifer · 21/06/2022 06:21

Most won't admit it on here....lots of independently wealthy woman apparently!
I didn't marry for money (neither of us have a pit to piss in) HOWEVER I bloody well wish I had! If I had my time again I most certainly would have made sure he could provide a comfortable life and wouldn't feel any guilt for it.

Hobele · 21/06/2022 06:23

No. Buy the reason I'm still in it is down to money.

MrsTerryPratchett · 21/06/2022 06:24

I dumped a 6 figure earning lawyer to date DH. Who was unemployed.

Haven't regretted it for a second.

Snoopsnoggysnog · 21/06/2022 06:24

I am fairly independently wealthy and I married a man who is the same, so I suppose subconsciously we both did.

Simonjt · 21/06/2022 06:25

No, I wouldn’t kiss someone I didn’t fancy, nevermind marry them.

Discovereads · 21/06/2022 06:32

No. I dumped a professional athlete to marry DH who was poor working class.

PissedOffNeighbour22 · 21/06/2022 06:55

My mum did. Not talking lots of money, just enough to be comfortable/nice house etc as she has medical issues and can't work. He was between 5-10 years older and introduced as the widowed husband of a relative's friend. Supposedly a nice guy.
He turned out to be controlling, nasty and a pervert. The minute they moved into a shared home after she sold her house he turned into a different person and she had years of misery with him.
A couple of years ago he had a stroke and ended up in very expensive nursing care that she struggled to pay for. She then discovered he'd been taking out lots of credit and loans which she was liable for. He died 6mths ago and things are still coming out of the woodwork that he did or owes.

So if anyone is thinking of marrying to be in a better position, think twice!!

Danni677 · 21/06/2022 06:56

No, but I married a poor man (for love) who became rich.

BadAtMaths2 · 21/06/2022 06:59

dated A guy for much longer than I should have done due t9 his stunning second home in the country, gorgeous thatched cottage. But even he started to realise I was spending more time there than I was with him….lovely village, lovely.

Rinatinabina · 21/06/2022 07:06

Nah he had a broken TV when I met him, only half the screen worked 😬.

CoverYourselfInChocolateGlory · 21/06/2022 07:11

Nope, I've always felt it was my own responsibility to provide for myself, so this was never something that was important to me. DH's family isn't too badly off, but I'm the earner in our relationship and he's now a SAHD.

ChangedMyNamrButStillMe · 21/06/2022 07:18

It certainly helped. I married my dh after a series of abusive relationships and then he turned up and he was kind and stable and when we were together things were just peaceful. I thought I was happy with him but when he proposed I was physically sick and shaking (I passed it off as excitement) but despite my better instincts I married him anyway. Who wouldn’t marry a rich, handsome man who adores them? We stayed married 8 years but I just couldn’t do it in the end. I felt like I was married to a NPC - I knew exactly what he’d say or do in every single situation and it made me want to scream

Lightsoutlondon · 21/06/2022 07:19

I don't think many marry only for money.... But I'm sure it's one of lots of things that are attractive about a person, in some ways. Maybe not money specifically but I know when I met my partner I found it attractive that he was financially stable and careful with money as that's a character trait I personally like, I'm careful with money too. So while I think few will have 'married for money' I think far more will have been influenced by a partners financial values.

Numbat2022 · 21/06/2022 07:23

Nope. I don't know how people can, it would make me feel physically ill to have sex with someone I didn't fancy. And how could you bear to spend your life with someone you didn't like? What a miserable existence.

We were early 20s when we met, so both skint.

LaWench · 21/06/2022 07:24

No we met when we were young.

JennyForeigner · 21/06/2022 07:26

I tried to marry a struggling artist. None of them were interested - too busy drinking absinthe from a teaspoon and living in windmills.

So I married DH who is a computer nerd and worries about pensions.

Leaving windmills for an exciting second phase.

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