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Original poster

One last kick in the teeth from dm from beyond the grave

129 replies

TeethKicked · 13/06/2022 14:46

This has really upset me, and I thought she’d upset me as much as she already could :(.

Its a long and boring story but, in essence, dm and I always had a tricky relationship. Things deteriorated when she and my half brother tried to cheat my df (from whom she was long divorced, and who was not my half brother’s father) out of a large sum of money.

She prioritised my half brother over me from the day he was born. Fine - I grew up, dealt with it, maintained a relationship with her for my dc’s sake. But things deteriorated, and for the last 3 years of her life we were no contact. She died 2 years ago.

I found out today that she left my dc nothing in her will - I knew I wouldn’t have got anything but I hoped they might have. She wrote an explanation in her will as to why she’d left everything to my half brother - and the real kicker here is that she wrote it and signed/dated it on my birthday :(.

I don’t know why this has upset me so much but it really has. I’ve been crying all day. She really did hate me didn’t she? :(.

OP posts:

headstone · 13/06/2022 18:45

It was probably done during a moment of bitterness. I don’t think it meant she hated you, more that she was upset at the time. However she is dead now and all the bitterness and upset has gone away. You will have a different relationship with your own children.

ImJustNotMeAnymore · 13/06/2022 18:47

Ihatemyroad · 13/06/2022 18:22

Was she completely of sound mind when she died? The reason I ask is because could there be a chance she didn’t realise it was your birthday?

I would be feeling the same as you.

I worked with a woman who had a mother like yours and when the mother died she left her entire estate to charity. My colleague at the time was single, renting and couldn’t afford to get on the property ladder. Her mother left a CONSIDERABLE sum to charity! Even a small part of it would’ve helped her daughter secure a home.

This is exactly what my gran did to my mum and her brother, and the whole of the rest of the family. Left the entire estate to charity and a little to a neighbour. Even put in her will that every bit of family paperwork was to be burnt, and the dog to be destroyed.
I'm sorry op that you've been hurt again. Is it worth fighting the will?

MadKittenWoman · 13/06/2022 18:48

stealtheatingtunnocks · 13/06/2022 15:38

Some women do not make good mothers, which is an uncomfortable truth.

you deserve praise for recognising that your mother was unable to meet your needs and for protecting your own kids from that sort of influence.

I don’t know either of you, but I will bet you a bottle of MN gin that it was her and not you.

This. I've been NC with mine for about 8 years. My sister was also NC with her but ended up having to be her carer for various reasons, mainly financial. She is now in her 90s and still a total narcissist, full of spite and hatred, which is what seems to be keeping her alive although she is now completely bedridden. My sister manages her money, so we will definitely get that as it is the law in the country they live in. When she dies it will be a relief from the FOG- fear, obligation, and guilt. People with normal mothers just don't understand what it's like for those who haven't. It ruins lives. Happily, my relationship with DS is very different. .

Original poster

TeethKicked · 13/06/2022 19:50

I think she was of sound mind - I certainly didn’t hear anything to the contrary. But regardless, I have no intention to contest the will.

OP posts:

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