Panicking about adult child

[freshpatchouli]

Please help me, I'm going out of my mind worrying that my only child son will be alone as an adult.

Why are you worrying about this now? He will have friends and probably a partner and maybe children of his own. Why would he be alone?

Whats wrong with being alone? Do you mean being single? I don't understand why that would worry you.

What sort of help are you looking for?

Worrying he will have no family bonds

Sorry I'm really struggling

How old is he now? Just make sure you help facilitate plenty of friendships and social skills for him?

I'm an only child. Now an adult. I have a son. Friends. I'm not alone.

More info needed sorry

Unless there's sen concerns you need to stop worrying yourself. He's an adult, you have taught him everything he needs to be an independent adult. I'm guessing you are concerned with your own mortality? He will have friends, workmates, perhaps a partner and possibly extended family too - I think it's tougher on only children in a way but he will be ok

Even if he wasn't an only child you would have no guarantee of family bonds. I have a brother but haven't seen or spoken to him in over 10 years. Once my parents are gone I will have no family who I have a bond with. But I have a partner and kids and friends. I know lots of only children whose parents are no longer around and they create a 'family' of their own. Its honestly not a big issue at all.

My husband has a few siblings he has no contact with. There's no guarantee having siblings for them will result in family bonds. I don't have family around me and never have. Sometimes I do wish I had them but, you know, I'm okay. It's just how it is and I manage to live a full life in spite of it. No doubt your son will make friends, find a partner, have children. If he doesn't, maybe he prefers it that way?

OP, sorry to hear you're struggling. Are you ok in yourself OP, or is it something more?

Does your DS find it hard to socialise? If not, I wouldn't worry too much about family. I'm an only child, I have my family and my Mum but she's difficult and it's a hard relationship. DD is also an only child, was worrying quiet at primary school, but is now on a year abroad (19), having the time of her life, sorts any problems out herself and has lots of friends. She's quite independent from us, so other than family ties/a home if needs be, she doesn't need us. I guess our job is done.

Two of my kids don’t speak, so having siblings/family doesn’t mean they will have company.

I'm 55, parents died three years ago and my sister many years before that. No cousins, my dad has a cousin who lives abroad and I’ve never met but we do email occasionally. I’ve no children . I am HAPPY.

My BIL had a few relationships when he was younger but has been firmly unattached for many years. No children. He has a huge circle of friends and a great relationship with his parents, siblings, nephews and great nephews, and godchildren. He is sociable but lives alone and seems perfectly happy in his own skin. There are many ways to live a connected and fulfilling life.

Everyone around me has siblings. It's very hard

Can I keep talking please?

I could be off the mark but it sounds like perhaps you would have liked siblings for him and it hasn't happened? You may find that your anxiety stems from this sadness rather than from an objective look at whether only children really are more 'alone' than any other children.

Your tone sounds to me like you are very much in 'fight or flight' mode- spiralling with anxiety etc. try to separate the physical anxiety from the worrying thought. Perhaps try thinking 'I am very anxious at the moment . I need to work on calming down' rather than 'I am so worried about my son. What can I do to solve this problem?'

Your son, like millions of only children, will be fine. You cannot predict the future- your worries are not reality.

I'm sorry you are anxious - it is genuinely horrendous when you feel like that.

I'm an only child. It's absolutely fine.

What part of it are you worried about? Is he worried?

Of course you can.

What do you mean by this?

@motogirl why would you only worry about someone if they had special needs? 🤔

Please do keep talking if you want to. Then you should try some self care today to work on the anxiety.

Go for a brisk walk in a green space and only focus on what you can hear, see, feel etc

Holly60 ❤️ and everyone else

I'm an only child and 49. I'm perfectly fine, op. Your son will be, too.