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Original poster

I have a night out ... come home DH isn't home.

253 replies

Eatingpizza · 04/06/2022 00:16

I have just come back from an extremely rare night out with work. I got back at just gone 1 am (europe). Dd (10) is asleep by herself. Other than the dog, not another living thing in the house.

Obviously, it was agreed between me and dh that it was okay for me to have a night out. All the local pubs are closed. His phone isn't answering. No replies to my texts. Just a half finished glass of red wine, a book and his reading glasses on the kitchen table to show he was here.

What the fuck?!

OP posts:
smileandsing · 04/06/2022 01:32

He should never be left with your child again after that. You need to get rid OP, he is a selfish arsehole who cannot be trusted to keep your precious child safe. I hope you and DD are ok.

I've lived with a selfish alcoholic, prone to disappearing acts in the middle of the night, but even he wouldn't have pulled this stunt. There really is no excuse.

Maytodecember · 04/06/2022 01:33

Eatingpizza · 04/06/2022 01:16

Well i didn't ring the police! I believe it is 24 hours after a person is missing. I posted on mn because I literally didn't know what to do with myself while waiting for him to turn up.

I actually had in my head that he was having someone on the side while i was gone.

Turns out he had gone down the pub and had a lock in. Am furious. He should have answered or at least told me what he was doing.

Yes. It is true. Some of us do have shit husbands. He is not the least bit sorry or understanding why I am upset.

Well he’s a shit father too. What if your DD had woken up and found herself alone in the house? No wonder you’re livid.

Frazzledmummy123 · 04/06/2022 01:37

Unbelievable!

Maddiemoosmum0203 · 04/06/2022 01:42

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

thenewduchessoflapland · 04/06/2022 01:52

smileandsing · 04/06/2022 01:32

He should never be left with your child again after that. You need to get rid OP, he is a selfish arsehole who cannot be trusted to keep your precious child safe. I hope you and DD are ok.

I've lived with a selfish alcoholic, prone to disappearing acts in the middle of the night, but even he wouldn't have pulled this stunt. There really is no excuse.

I think the opening line to this reply was precisely the OP's partners intention;by doing something so utterly shitty and irresponsible he's ensured he'll never be asked to be alone to parent his own child ever again.

He didn't ever try to sneak home before the OP got back meaning he deliberately wanted her to find him gone.

Leaving my young child unattended so my DH could go to the pub would be a relationship ender.

If the social services got wind of what happened the OP could find herself in hot water even though she didn't do anything wrong.She'd then have to prove she can keep her child safe.

Mamanyt · 04/06/2022 02:13

He left your child alone sleeping in the house? And he doesn't understand why you are upset. He has now told you what and who he is. The question becomes, "Is any financial contribution worth staying with a man-boy who does not have the least concern for anyone but himself?"

LunaAndHerMoonDragons · 04/06/2022 02:16

Eatingpizza · 04/06/2022 01:16

Well i didn't ring the police! I believe it is 24 hours after a person is missing. I posted on mn because I literally didn't know what to do with myself while waiting for him to turn up.

I actually had in my head that he was having someone on the side while i was gone.

Turns out he had gone down the pub and had a lock in. Am furious. He should have answered or at least told me what he was doing.

Yes. It is true. Some of us do have shit husbands. He is not the least bit sorry or understanding why I am upset.

I'd be reporting it to SS or the police to have a record of what happens so hopefully he didn't get overnights when we divorced. Leaving my 10 year old alone at night would be it for me, marriage over.

LunaAndHerMoonDragons · 04/06/2022 02:18

I'm wondering if this is purposeful on his part, is he controlling? Because this is a great way to make sure you're too scared to ever go out at night again.

PomBearWithoutHerOFRS · 04/06/2022 02:22

Did your DD know he was gone? Either he told her and she knew she was alone, or he didn't and if she'd woken up she would have found herself alone. Either way is bad! He's a grade A twat!
Now you know where his wife and daughter come in his priorities.

EarringsandLipstick · 04/06/2022 02:48

This is absolutely shocking.

I don't say this on MN ever, but in this case, it would be over for me. Immediately. I'd ask him to leave, and start to legally and divorce.

You must be beside yourself.

Rainbowqueeen · 04/06/2022 02:52

Absolutely furious on your behalf OP.

What a shit parent and a shit partner. He doesn’t think you should be entitled to a night out does he. Please get your ducks in a row

IvorCutler · 04/06/2022 02:55

Beyond shitty and irresponsible behavior. I hope your dd is ok.

EveryFlightBeginsWithAFall · 04/06/2022 02:56

Fuck that, I'd be phoning ss so it was on record what a ahit father he is and then I'd be chucking him out

Bournetilly · 04/06/2022 02:59

Wow that’s awful of him to leave your DD alone, anything could of happened

MrsTerryPratchett · 04/06/2022 03:07

Proper scum. On many levels. Neglecting DD, controlling you, using DD as a pawn. Such a lot of shit.

Please tell me the lock-in/leaving is by text nd therefore verifiable to a Court.

Kittykat93 · 04/06/2022 03:15

How would a ten year old get herself out the house if there was a fire? Or a break in? At ten she's still a young child ffs, how awful that he would even consider doing that!! If she woke up with a nightmare or sick etc and realised no one was there I'd imagine she would be terrified, I would have been at that age. I would divorce him, and I never usually say that.

Fraaahnces · 04/06/2022 03:42

He left a sleeping 10yr old by herself?!?! I think you know the status of your marriage, @Eatingpizza . I would never be able to look him in the face again.

custardbear · 04/06/2022 03:50

I'd be furious! How irresponsible and selfish of him, honestly I don't think my relationship would survive that level of shitty behaviour to both your daughter or you on your rare night out

autienotnaughty · 04/06/2022 04:14

I know mn has low tolerance of mens behaviour but this is absolutely a ltb moment and no overnights in custody arrangement. I couldn't stay with someone who could put my child at risk like that.

ladydoris · 04/06/2022 04:26

This man made me want to vomit when I realised there was a child alone in an empty house while he was making a point by having beer, this is a bit much.

CandyLeBonBon · 04/06/2022 04:30

Eatingpizza · 04/06/2022 01:16

Well i didn't ring the police! I believe it is 24 hours after a person is missing. I posted on mn because I literally didn't know what to do with myself while waiting for him to turn up.

I actually had in my head that he was having someone on the side while i was gone.

Turns out he had gone down the pub and had a lock in. Am furious. He should have answered or at least told me what he was doing.

Yes. It is true. Some of us do have shit husbands. He is not the least bit sorry or understanding why I am upset.

Just to let you know op tjat the 24 hour thing is not true. You can report someone missing at any time. Glad he's back but what's a shit.

AnAfternoonWalk · 04/06/2022 04:44

Go and find a real man. How could he leave his child alone, to go get drunk??

Redglitter · 04/06/2022 04:51

Well i didn't ring the police! I believe it is 24 hours after a person is missing

Not the case. You can report someone missing at any stage. The 24 hour thing is a common misconception

Whiskeypowers · 04/06/2022 05:25

MrsTerryPratchett · 04/06/2022 03:07

Proper scum. On many levels. Neglecting DD, controlling you, using DD as a pawn. Such a lot of shit.

Please tell me the lock-in/leaving is by text nd therefore verifiable to a Court.

That’s my hope too

absolute vermin

JuneJubilee · 04/06/2022 05:32

Changedagain876 · 04/06/2022 01:27

Jfc. He left your 10 year old asleep in bed at night alone to get pissed? That’s neglect. In NZ you can’t leave a child alone under 14. There’s a reason for that.

Yeah, that's a law change that's absolutely barking!! I lived there at 14, was babysitting at 13, (including overnights) going to the beach with friends from 13, looking after my 9yo sibling after school. Driving at (full licence) at 15.

yet my nieces & nephews aren't allowed to be home alone until 14...it's absolutely bloody nuts.

but @Eatingpizza he'd be staying at that friends permanently, or anywhere else he liked. But leaving our 10yo at home slone, at night, to go to the pub - he'd no longer be living with us.