To find most people just so fucking exhausting

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Maybe because I’ve moved countries a couple of times and so met quite a lot of new people in my life - and through DCs - but is it just me that only truly ever clicks with a small number of people? I find a lot of people so exhausting.

Wow, that’s quite the assumption you’ve made there. It isn’t me, but I can’t be bothered to explain the backstory.

There’s a reason the phrase “two’s company; three’s a crowd” exists. If there’s four of you, you can pair up to do different things. With three, you don’t want to leave someone out and it’s harder to please everyone. Anyway, whatever.

I'm always shocked at how much people reveal about themselves so quickly. I find lots of people just want to talk about themselves and have no interest in anything you say, if you can get a word in edgeways. Even on WhatsApp my friend said " where are you?I don't recognise those place names" when I had told her where I was going several times and my previous message said "just arrived in X" .
I'm always friendly with people but have very few close friends and now I'm older I like it like that.
To be honest I've found most people I been friends with have sadly been a letdown in the end.

If I can gain useful intelligence and a good conversation then it's worth the effort, if it's more them taking and basically boasting, then it can be a bit zzz, but in General I have my parts of being quite talkative and other times prefer peace and quiet. It's a mix for me.

@dubyalass it was you who said that three on a holiday was a bad idea, it wasn’t an assumption by the OP at all.

I think that you'll find quite a few people who are sat at home on an online forum, on a sunny Bank Holiday afternoon, probably find people pretty exhausting irl 😏

Totally agree. I've become more and more introverted as I've got older as well. Truly can't be arsed with the majority of people.

Me too. So many people are dumb, selfish or simply fucked in the head.

WalkerWalking I've been at home for the past couple of days, but I'm on a walking trip for the next two days. And your point is...?

I can't be bothered with most people. If I had to list the things that truly bring me joy, they would be:

Books and reading
Coffee shops
Wandering around bookshops
Wandering around art galleries
Being alone with nature
Animals (especially dogs)
Silence
Natural light/sunshine

On the other hand, if I had to list the things that depress me, they would mostly involve people:

Arguing with people online
Social media
The news
Noise
Cars
Traffic jams
Out of town shopping centres
Giant new build estates, with rabbit hutch houses jammed on top of one another

I don't hate people - many of them are lovely. It's just that I'm an introvert. I don't need lots of social interaction, and I never crave it (never did). The great thing about getting older is that you become invisible. People no longer pressure you to go out and party. You can finally be who you are.

I find modern life exhausting, not just people. I increasingly loathe the noise and stress 'out there.' Every year things seem to grow louder and faster. Right now I'm being driven insane by idiots racing round the neighbourhood in cars with noisy engines and modified exhausts. And there always seem to be more ugly hobbit houses being built, which means more people, more cars, more noise and less space.

YANBU. I dont really know what's going on with me, I feel like there's probably something out of kilter (hormones I expect) but I just can't tolerant conversation anymore. Even my nearest and dearest. My lovely mum phoned me today, I got a sinking feeling when the phone rang. I spoke to her yesterday and the day before that and the day before that. I have nothing to report. (She's not lonely BTW, she has an incredibly active social life).

I used to love going for walks with people. It's now my idea of hell. I want to walk with my dog listen to the birds, be alone with the quiet and nature.

I'm sure people find me hard work too and I feel like I've lost the art of conversation. I dont mind big groups where you can sit back and listen but one to one absolutely exhausts me.

Yep me too. Just find I dislike most people. Usually it’s just I find them mildly irritating, rather than infuriating.

I do think there is an element that I could be more forgiving, but also a lot of people are self absorbed and I find that hard to deal with.

I wasn't replying to the OP. I was replying to rickrollme who was inferring that I was the problem in my scenario.

Those of us who spend too much time on MN are likely to find real life socialising more exhausting than those people who are currently out enjoying a street party 🤷‍♀️

(I'm including myself in that btw! I find scrolling MN in my pjs far less exhausting than actual social interaction 🤣🤣)

This is me! I was beginning to think I'd become socially awkward in my old age. I just can't be bothered!!

I'm an introvert- I like maybe 8 people

But the dogs are GREAT

Chucking it down here so good excuse for being inside. If it was sunny I'd definitely be out walking or just enjoying the sun.

Had this exact conversation a couple of hours ago. Friend helping me move furniture says she has to go to a birthday party this afternoon. I realised my first reaction if it was me would be ‘how do I get out of this’. Having to socialise with a garden full of people, I’d rather stay home with the dog.
Think Covid and lockdowns have made antisocial people like me even more so.

I hate socialising with a passion. It's got worse as I've got older and I'm only in my early 30s! Unfortunately I have a DH who thinks that the way to combat social exhaustion is to socialise more to get used to it.

I wouldn’t describe myself as an introvert. Used to be very sociable, friends over for dinner, coffee out with friends, walks etc, even went on holidays camping trips with old friends lots over the years.

However, I have massively scaled back social events with other people the last few years.

i just haven’t got the energy or inclination any more. I simply can’t be arsed to make small talk, and listen to people drone on about shite.
Having to listen to shite at work is inescapable at times, but I’m fucked if I’m doing it in my leisure time.
I really don’t know how I’d cope if I had to work full time.
It’s just me and dh, and small family for the most part now, and a couple of friends I see every month or so. That’s more than enough!

I was never an introvert in my native country. But now living in UK, I find myself as an introvert.

Yes. But I am autistic. I have got worse since I had kids TBH. My kids leave me mentally and physically exhausted as it is and I just don't have the resilience or timeto let anyone else in.

I'm definitely becoming more introverted the older I get.

Happiest on my own, or socialising with one person at a time, two at a push depending on who they are.

I met with a fried yesterday who I hadn't seen in so long, and I thought "I'll stay an hour and that will be fine". Three hours later, we hadn't stopped talking and laughing, and I felt so happy to have seen her.

I often feel boring and invisible in a bigger group, and in one group of four that I occasionally meet with, I feel genuinely drained after we meet. Again, okay to be with these people individually.

As for the three person holiday, I'm going on one in a few weeks. Luckily I think my two friends know me well enough to understand that I might disappear on occasion to be by myself during the day. But other than that, I'm very easy going about any plans we may make.

I’m like this as well. I’d rather read a book or walk the dog.

I hate socialising and avoid it when possible.

This is me.

I’m sociable and have missed spending time chatting with certain friends, colleagues and family members over the last two years due to Covid, but I also enjoy my own company. I can only deal with some people in small doses.

Two Primary aged DC talk a lot and need constant interaction. I tend to get headaches when the incessant talking gets too much. Adult DC likes her own company, just like me and was happy to be an only child until siblings came along when they were Secondary School age (just like me).

Pressured job and in lots meetings about dysfunctional lives, so mentally drained by the end of the day.
Although, saying that I started my current job just before lockdown, have been WFH since and have only recently met a handful of colleagues properly in the flesh. I’ve had more contact and social get togethers with my colleague friends from my old workplace. I’m planning to go back as I really miss them. Work is really tough so having lovely colleagues that are also friends helps. It’s difficult to talk about family, lifestyle, politics, religion, etc with people you don’t know.

I love the serenity of WFH but have recently realised that I could now do with being back in the office 2-3 days a week. DP has even suggested that I travel with him to work at his office just to get me out of the house. I sometimes get annoyed when he decides to WFH and distracts me in order to keep me company! He’s on the phone a lot and wants to chat when he’s on a break and I’m not!

Same! We like all the same things

I just like doing a lot of stuff alone tbh. I'm around my family and workmates a lot so I get a lot of social interaction (too much if anything). Friends I tend to see a couple of times a year (per person) so probably socialise once a month tops. That's more than enough for me!