What makes a man a loser in life?

[SouthMan28]

Just wondering what do think makes a man a loser in life?

On drugs, long term unemployed, in huge debt, can't handle money or relationships.

Walks away from his DC and doesn’t financially support them, or uses crap finance techniques on his income to make sure he doesn’t have to

On drugs, unemployed or doesn’t see his kids through fault of his own.

I would consider a man a loser based on his behaviour to others, treated people (myself included) like shit. Had no interest in self development and growth, learning new things, new experiences.
Circumstantial stuff like job status, big bank balance, are just a bonus and wouldn't make up for an awful personality and boring outlook.

What's up @SouthMan28 , why are you asking?

Why particularly a man, rather than a person?

Unemployed, long criminal record, addiction of any kind, long strung of failed relationships, kids he doesn't see, acting like a "dude" in his 20's when he's 40.

His choice of partner

I'm asking because I feel like a loser even though I hold down a full time job on a low income. And it's making me feel depressed and feeling like I'll never have a decent lifestyle! 😣

You are working so that's a massive start

Yes, are male losers a different breed to female losers?

Or we’re you looking for some snappy little observation like ‘men who use buses after the age of 25 are losers in life’ or something? (Usually attributed to Thatcher but apparently doesn’t originate with her…)

a working man on a low income is NOT a loser. It is ok to want to earn more/have more and maybe someday you can and will. but you are not a loser.

I'm with Jackie Kennedy - if a man messes up with his children, it doesn't really matter much what else he achieves in life.

Having kids that he doesn't see or support. Multiple kids with different women. Unemployed with no desire to look for work.

I don't think being on a low income makes you a loser at all. I wouldn't even think a guy living at home with his parents was a loser, providing mummy isn't doing his washing and cooking his dinner.

Never having a job
In and out of prison
Disinterested father
Addict

Can you up-skill? Can you do different qualifications? Is there a way for you to have a side hustle earning more?

and then look at what is available for free? How can you add culture to your life? What experiences are available to you near you? What clubs?

what sport do you do? Can you do it more? Unless you have children of course then golfing and cycling are an absolute no-no 😂

Anything less than very short term unemployed. There’s no excuse to not have a job. A weed addict. A deadbeat dad who doesn’t see or financially support his kids. I might get abuse on here about this but I find ‘gamers’ utterly pathetic.

Oh, also someone still living with their mum past very early 20’s

Because she's specifically wondering about men. It's allowed.

@SouthMan28 - No one is a loser unless they completely give up (unless they are really vile). You are doing your best, give yourself a break.

IMO a loser of either sex is someone unwilling to pull their weight in any capacity.

You can be a man on 20k a year paying your way and pulling your weight. That's fine by me.

A man on 100k who thinks that excuses you from being a parent/cleaning/cooking/being a decent human being? Loser.

Under the thumb (does not matter whether wife/mother).
Deadbeat parent
Addicted to drugs/alcohol/porn/gambling - lack of control over any addiction
Shallow - not interested in the deeper questions, not well read
Liar

Thank you for saying

This is a bit harsh. Housing is so expensive not everyone can manage to move out before their early 20s

I don't know about winner/looser but I really look down on any man who has abused their partner (either physically or emotionally).
Aside from that I'd quote Churchill:
Success is not final, failure is not fatal, it's the strength to carry on that counts.

SouthMan28 my DH is on a low wage, he is not a loser in any way, shape or form. He's loyal and loving, he's honest and kind. He's an amazing father, supportive husband. He's just the best.

Just the fact that you care enough to ask shows that you're not a loser. Keep going, try not to be so harsh on yourself and stay away from social media, comparison is the thief of joy.