What makes a man a loser in life?

[SouthMan28]

Just wondering what do think makes a man a loser in life?

I’m a community support worker earning just above minimum wage. I’ve been independent since I was kicked out of my foster mums house a month before my 16th birthday. I guess I’m very biased going by my own experiences because I’ve grown up in the care system in the most deprived area in the uk. Yet I’ve never been homeless, never been without (at least one) job. I have 3 children I support along with an exotic animal rescue, and I’m 5 weeks away from finishing a course that I spent years saving up for that will get me a job with around triple the wage. Some excuses wash with me. I’ve started downsizing the rescue with the expectation of closure due to the rising costs of living. But like fuck will I be shamed for expecting a grown man I’m dating to be living in his mums spare room.

Imagine a man starting a thread saying "What makes a women a loser in life"

He or she would be hauled forwards backwards left and right over the coals.

You are aware aren't you that addiction poverty and unemployment isn't a choice talk about kicking the poor and sick when they're down. What a horrible thread this is.

What a horrible thing to ask. Why specifically a man anyway ?

this reads like you couldnt be arsed to read the thread.

Hurting kids or animals makes a,man a loser not a poor bloke who can't get a job or who still lives at home past 25, ffs

Imagine a man starting a thread saying "What makes a women a loser in life"

The OP is a man. Which makes your constant, desperate search for 'reverse sexism' on here even more laughable than normal.

Probably starting a thread entitled 'What makes a woman a loser in life?' would be enough for me to think very little of them.

The men described on mumsnet. Mumsnet has put me off ever dating again.

Not everyone is on high enough wages to be able to move out and get their own place.

Not everyone is born with a diamond encrusted spoon in their mouths where mummy and daddy have a thousand pound magic money tree for a deposit.

My husband still lived with his parents in his 30s and moved out when he moved in with me. He works locally, has a fabulous relationship with them and has never been the type to need somewhere to take a string of women back to, so never saw the need to leave. It also allowed him to save a huge amount of money for when he finally flew the nest. I had my own place when we got together so it wasn't an issue.

NAMALT 🥺

🙄

Druggie
Gambler
Football fan
Into horse / Dog racing
Fisherman ( and posts photos with suffocating fish )
Petrol head
Likes ' Banter '
Watches porn

Call me picky 🤷‍♀️

Drinks to much
Loves football
Overweight
Dead end job
No money
Un-groomed
Rude and abusive

Are you OK OP?
don’t think of yourself as a loser! You’re anything but! Treat yourself as nicely as you’d treat your best friend. ☺️

Living with his mum past 30
long-term unemployed for no good reason
gamer/anime or football mad
deadbeat dad
acts like a teenager when he is over 30
doesn't know how to clean or cook or manage his life
virgin past 25
Pervert who is obsessed with much younger women (eg 40 eyeing up 16-25 year olds)
Incels and red pill guys
desperate for attention on social media, would do silly stunts just to get views or likes
Uses prostitutes/Only Fans

I agree with pp who say addicts, long term unemployed with no desire to look for work, and if they have criminal record etc. The smell of weed coming from anyone or the smell of it coming from anyone's home or car also screams loser to me I absolutely hate it.
And it's called dope for a reason, as they are all dopey thick losers that smoke it all day.

Being unhappy with his life and not doing anything to improve it, even though he could.

Agree about addiction. If someone is unemployed and making no effort to get a job, that's different from someone who is unemployed and making efforts to get a job.

Yeah addiction is an illness and linked to trauma and mental illness. It's like saying you're a loser for having diabetes.

Addiction can mean a lot of things, addiction to sugar or social media. Successful 'cool' people can have addictions, too.

Not really, being stuck in a low paid job for nearly 10 years has made me feel like a loser. People my age at 29 have gone on to university etc and are in much more successful jobs than me and I don't feel like I'll have the intelligence to get a higher paid role...

I also feel like me and my partner will never be able to buy our own place as we're both in shite paying jobs, I feel like we'll both be going to the council to get a home that way as that's all we can afford!

Especially with the rise in the cost of living it's all just making me feel depressed! 😩

I’d say a loser is someone who doesn’t take responsibility.

Being in a low paid job certainly does not make you a loser. There are loads of losers who have high-paid jobs.
Also, I’m sure you’re not unintelligent but, even if you are, there’s loads of not very smart people in high paid roles as well!

Any man who impregnates a woman and then does not pay for 50% of the resulting child’s costs for the next 18 years. If this happened, there’d be no need for that CSA or whatever it’s called and half the benefits the country hands out wouldn’t be needed. Single women with children also wouldn’t be vilified unnecessarily.

If you think in terms of winning and losing, you can't help noticing that our society gives the prizes (money, worldly success) to people who are not always doing meaningful work and taking responsibility for their actions. Think of Trump and Boris Johnson, just as two random examples.

At some point we all have to come to terms with the reality that hard work, thoughtfulness, kindness, and personal responsibility get certain rewards but do not necessarily lead to 'winning'.

I think the problem is in using the terminology and attitudes of competetive sport when thinking about life. You can win a race or a game of chess, but you can't win or lose when it comes to things which are inherently not competitive, like bringing up children, loving another person, or finding meaning in life.

Another sort of loser - male or female - is the kind with wealthy family who never actually work for a living, but drain the family trust fund on chasing dreams of acting or writing (when they have absolutely no talent for either) or hobby businesses. They’re difficult to spot because they’re often well educated and charming, but they always consider themselves above cleaning the kitchen or changing nappies.

I suspect quite a few of them write features in the Telegraph.