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Original poster

Would you be happy with 2 kids?

159 replies

imsoscared2022 · 01/06/2022 13:25

Would you be happy with just 2 kids? Say you had 2 girls or 2 boys would you try again for the opposite?

OP posts:
Twizbe · 02/06/2022 08:05

imsoscared2022 · 02/06/2022 04:29

I have 2 dds too and I'm proud. I thought I'd have more children but 2 are a handful and I've never really thought about having a boy. Not that I'd be upset about having a boy/not having a boy. It's just coming to the realisation that for me 2 are enough. It doesn't make me a failure. I met someone who said 'ohh you've only got two...are you going to try for more? I've got four and it's the best thing we've done'. I can't/have decided not to try for more children as I get hypermesis (extreme all day sickness) in pregnancy and can't cope. I'm not a failure. I've done my best.

Errr ignore people like that. I can't think of anything worse than having 4 kids

NoSquirrels · 02/06/2022 08:07

Why wouldn’t you be happy with 2DC?

zafferana · 02/06/2022 08:09

I wanted two DC. I have two DC. I had no preference for what sex they are. They are the same sex. I am happy with that.

Where did you get the idea that two DC aren't enough OP? To me, two is the perfect number.

MassiveSalad22 · 02/06/2022 08:09

I remember when I had one feeling completely fulfilled and thinking I could live perfectly happily with just him 😍
We had 2 more because we wanted to. 2 kids was a bit too calm and cookie cutter for us. We recently had number 3 and it is manageable but much more to keep track of and I definitely have that ‘done’ feeling.
We had 2 delicious boys first and now a girl and the fucking comments we get!!! Piss me off! Most of the time though it’s just people wanting something to say and it’s not that deep.

MassiveSalad22 · 02/06/2022 08:12

Just to say, i always remind myself that im the second of 2 girls and DH is the second of 2 boys and neither of us ever felt we should have been the opposite sex/anyone was disappointed. So that’s nice. I feel bad for middle child DS2 sometimes that he’ll think we had a third to have a girl but 1) it doesn’t work that way and 2) hopefully he realises how obsessed we are with him so he won’t feel that 😄

Uptooearlyagain5 · 02/06/2022 08:14

I have two boys. And we're all happy with that. I was 27 weeks into a horrible pregnancy with DS2 when I said never again. DH and I have always said we would only ever consider having another if we were guaranteed a girl. But witn absolutely no girls on his side of the family, it would never happen.

DH and I are both one of four kids. We didn't want that for our kids, that's all I'm saying.

BlueLoving · 02/06/2022 08:15

A friend of mine did when she had 2 boys, had a 3rd boy. She says she's not trying again.

I only have 1 and can't see myself having anymore

Peppapig7262662 · 02/06/2022 08:16

I have 2 girls and will be trying for a 3rd baby.

Would love a boy but would be happy with another lovely girl. Definitely wouldn't keep trying for a boy!

However mine are aged 13 and 1 so huge gap. Not sure I would try for a 3rd if they were closer together.

toogoodforthisworld · 02/06/2022 08:17

I was extremely happy with 2 kids.. both same sex. I now have 4 stepkids as well.. life seems to choose its own path anyway..

Spitescreen · 02/06/2022 08:17

Waxonwaxoff0 · 01/06/2022 15:54

I'm more than happy with one child. I didn't care about the sex. I had a boy, I've got no desire for another child, whether it be girl or boy.

This. It never occurred to me to have a second child.

Rainbowqueeen · 02/06/2022 08:20

I’ve always had a particular number of kids I wanted rather than a desire for any particular sex. I wanted 3, have 3 and they are all the same sex. So going again to get a child of the opposite sex would not have worked for me. The extra one makes a huge lifestyle difference and has a huge career impact. I would only recommend having another if it’s affordable and what you really want.

Ithoughtsummerwascoming · 02/06/2022 08:21

In all honesty if my personal circumstances were different I would have liked 3 or 4.
Ie if we had a larger house, far far more money and family support and able to buy support.

One of my DC needs extra tution support which costs a lot so for us in all ways 2 is definitely the limit.

Even with two I sometimes find it hard to give Equal attention because one demand more then the other.
But I would have liked more but there was no way at a we could have thought about its

HoppingPavlova · 02/06/2022 09:31

Odd question, I’m sure there are pros and cons with 1, 2, 3, 4 or 5 children! All so individual depending on so many factors unique to the person having the children.

Camomila · 02/06/2022 09:52

I have 2 boys and I would like a third (of either sex), but realistically I am not sure we have the space or money for 3. If it happens in a few years when we've moved (will be late 30s then) I'll be very happy, but if not I'm lucky to have two healthy children.

user1471462428 · 02/06/2022 09:55

I lost a child between my two children and I had wanted to have two girls, I was so excited to see a heartbeat with my third child I forgot to ask what gender he is. I can understand why people have their “perfect “ family idealised in their heads. I did but I prefer the life I actually have in spite of the suffering I endured to get it.

Mammyloveswine · 02/06/2022 11:12

I've got two boys and this time last year was done and dusted! However I am feeling incredibly broody and desperate for a third right now!!

DH not on board and logically it's a no go (too big an age gap now, can't afford it, career nicely back on track..) but omg the urge to have another baby (will likely be a boy so wouldn't be trying for a girl 😂)...

I'll get over it!

Mammyloveswine · 02/06/2022 11:13

BiscoffSundae · 01/06/2022 13:31

And then you had a 3rd
and it was the same would you be trying again? Tbh I got lucky first was girl second was a boy 🤷‍♀️

Not "lucky" at all! Nothing bad about having two of the same! So rude! Hate that people perceive themselves to be superior for having children of opposite sexes!!

Blueskies3 · 02/06/2022 11:49

I've never really understood the notion that having one of each, or having children of different gender is superior....children are just children, no matter the gender.

I have also heard the "oh, so you have just the two do you?".....like it is such a small number and not as special as 3+kids.

I have two beautiful boys and I feel so very lucky. I also think the same about my friend who has two gorgeous girls....and the mum that has one boy. You're lucky no matter the number.

Kendrickspenguin · 02/06/2022 13:20

I have two children of the same sex. I would have had a third because I always wanted three children. DH decided after our second that he did not want anymore. The fact that we have two of the same sex had no bearing on our feelings.

A PP said that they were fortunate enough to have one of each sex. I think we always feel that we are lucky to have our own children. They are perfect and wonderful to us. If you happen to have one of each that feels lucky, and if you happen to have two the same, that feels just as fortunate.

Blackmagicqueen · 02/06/2022 14:46

”Not "lucky" at all! Nothing bad about having two of the same! So rude! Hate that people perceive themselves to be superior for having children of opposite sexes!!” @Mammyloveswine

Exactly it is a narrow minded view. I absolutely love having my 2 (same sex) dc and would never change them. I would love having any combination as love my dc and their sex has absolutely nothing to do with it! Anybody who is able to have even one baby is lucky and not because they’re a certain sex.

BiscoffSundae · 02/06/2022 14:50

Mammyloveswine · 02/06/2022 11:13

Not "lucky" at all! Nothing bad about having two of the same! So rude! Hate that people perceive themselves to be superior for having children of opposite sexes!!

Show quote history

No need to be offended people use to always comment how lucky I was to have one of each! For example I know someone who has 5 kids and they are all girls. Nothing rude about what I said and my comment isn’t aimed at anyone I felt lucky to have one of each, that’s my personal opinion on my situation no one else’s and I don’t care what kids other people have.

Waxonwaxoff0 · 02/06/2022 16:12

BiscoffSundae · 02/06/2022 14:50

No need to be offended people use to always comment how lucky I was to have one of each! For example I know someone who has 5 kids and they are all girls. Nothing rude about what I said and my comment isn’t aimed at anyone I felt lucky to have one of each, that’s my personal opinion on my situation no one else’s and I don’t care what kids other people have.

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That's exactly the problem though. The attitude shouldn't be that it's "lucky" to have one of each, because that's insinuating that anything else is undesirable. It's a load of nonsense.

Waxonwaxoff0 · 02/06/2022 16:13

BiscoffSundae · 02/06/2022 14:50

No need to be offended people use to always comment how lucky I was to have one of each! For example I know someone who has 5 kids and they are all girls. Nothing rude about what I said and my comment isn’t aimed at anyone I felt lucky to have one of each, that’s my personal opinion on my situation no one else’s and I don’t care what kids other people have.

Show quote history

If you'd had 2 children of the same sex would you not feel lucky then?

SleepingStandingUp · 02/06/2022 16:16

Nothing rude about what I said and my comment isn’t aimed at anyone I felt lucky to have one of each so by extension you'd have been unlucky to have had two the same sex. How livy that you're second child's intrinsic value is linked to their sex, to which sperm DH happened to ejaculate inside you with a strong tail and a firm head.

LittleFeet178 · 02/06/2022 16:30

imsoscared2022 · 02/06/2022 04:29

I have 2 dds too and I'm proud. I thought I'd have more children but 2 are a handful and I've never really thought about having a boy. Not that I'd be upset about having a boy/not having a boy. It's just coming to the realisation that for me 2 are enough. It doesn't make me a failure. I met someone who said 'ohh you've only got two...are you going to try for more? I've got four and it's the best thing we've done'. I can't/have decided not to try for more children as I get hypermesis (extreme all day sickness) in pregnancy and can't cope. I'm not a failure. I've done my best.

People you know are odd. I've never come across anyone who would think you were a failure for having two children. I thought 2 was fairly standard, I barely know anyone with 3.

Got 2 myself, same sex and never wanted anymore.