DH says I can’t have botox

[Cherryana]

I have started to get Botox and for me I love the result. It has got rid of my ‘11’s that were really bothering me. I am really happy.

My DH hates Botox/filler. Points out bad lip filler jobs with boring regularity when out.

From my pov, I go to work, I pay for it, it is not financially damaging to our family. It is also not a lot so I still have lines and wrinkles - not a mask face. I am old enough to weigh up risks. I am so pleased!!

He said, me choosing to do this, it was driving a wedge in our marriage.

How much say does a husband get in beauty treatments do you think?

There are plenty of men who spend hundreds of pounds on their hobbies and women are expected to accept this. But somehow Botox is different . Even when it's the woman's own money paying for it!

The dh doesn't need to share her values. But when he thinks his are more important than hers, even with regard to her own body and that she should conform in order to avoid 'driving a wedge', there's a real problem with his attitude and behaviour.

@Delatron you must be beauty industry's dream! Do you believe everything they try and sell?

Ha @toomuchlaundry maybe I am. But I’d rather spend my money on things that actually work like Botox over expensive creams and potions that don’t. 🤷🏼‍♀️. My moisturiser costs £7 and then I just wear sun cream. Don’t spend much on make up either.

I use things with evidence behind them so - Tretinion, SPF 50 every day and then Botox is the most effective anti-wrinkle treatment whether you approve or not.

I do like to try other treatments too and profhilo made a noticeable difference to my skin.

I’ll fully admit to not wanting to age gracefully. For me I’m not wasting my money or being duped/ a marketers dream if I’m getting results.

Having worked in the advertising industry I’d argue those spending ££ on expensive Clarins and Chanel creams are the ones being duped.

He gets a say financially, and he's allowed an opinion aesthetically, but I'd take a very dim view of my husband telling me I "wasn't allowed" to do something to my own body! Where does it end? What if he doesn't like your hair cut or colour, or your new trousers, or god forbid you should get a tattoo 😱😱

I can kind of see that he might mean that he never previously thought that you were so invested in your looks and that it's upset him that it turns out you have different opinions/attitudes in the subject. But to say it's driving a wedge in your marriage? Have you never disagreed with him before on anything?!!

Yes that is an interesting question… he is fine until something I say/do disagree with him and then it’s all toddler temper tantrums and bitchy darvo comments this ‘driving a wedge’ is a new tactic. Less shouty more quiet manipulation to emotional make me feel bad and not do what he wants.

Yep because when those of us who have had subtle Botox and fillers stand next to those who haven't, we look younger and fresher in comparison.

Thanks posters - some of the comments have really made me laugh and some hav made me really think.

I come from quite a religious background where a wife submits to their husband and Botox has a moral (vanity) attachment.

I however am so happy and happy about making a choice for myself. I am sort of waking up from a long brain washing sleep and this making choices based on what I want is part of that.

PS lik outdoor exercise, my children and travel and seem to fit it all in with my twice yearly Botox!!

I think people have a right to their own opinion and it doesn't make it abusive or controlling for them to disagree.

Personally when it comes to your partner's face, it probably would alter how I felt if he got a face tattoo or palstic surgery or lip fillers or any other procedure. I am attracted to natural looks and really don't like the cosmetic procedure look. I get that some people like that to varying degrees and they think that the cosmetically altered look is preferable to a natural look. For me, I like how he looks now and I don't really want him to alter it with chemicals and procedures. It is also a slippery slope once people start to buy into the idea that aging naturally is a bad look and they need to erase signs of aging.

Oh if your husband wants you to 'submit' to him because of religion, then I am going to say for the first time ever: Go out and get Botox! :)

I am kidding obviously but he sounds v controlling.

That is why I occasionally I ask questions like this because I think I know my thoughts and boundaries but it’s just like I want to double check.

I get not liking a fake look-I don’t want that either. I guess I trust myself that if it did look a bit off I would pull back. I also don’t really want to be deceitful.

I have to go now but really thank you for all your thoughts/opinions.

Nil. I get lip fillers I pay for them I like the way it makes me feel .. it's none of his business if it impacts him not at all

Your face your choice.

That can’t be possible, remember on MN everyone looks 10 years younger than their real age and is always complimented on how great and youthful they look. A cheapo Aldi face cream is usually credited.

That can’t be possible, remember on MN everyone looks 10 years younger than their real age and is always complimented on how great and youthful they look. A cheapo Aldi face cream is usually credited.

Not Botox, but I wasn’t prepared for my husbands reaction to me getting some minor dental work done.
went for a check up and my dentist had started to do cosmetic work. I’ve had a gap in my front teeth since childhood and it’s something that’s always bothered me. She offered me diastema, which is essentially gap filling, at an introductory rate. I jumped at the chance of booking it.

When I told DH he was immediately extremely anti it. His first words were ‘but that’s you’. I still don’t think he’s keen at all on the idea but has accepted that it’s something that will make me happier and give me that touch more confidence. I wasn’t expecting that reaction from him at all and it surprised me. We’ve been together now for thirty years so I thought I knew him well. Have to be honest if I did ever go down the Botox route myself based on how he reacted to this I’d probably just do it and say nothing.