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Original poster

DH says I can’t have botox

165 replies

Cherryana · 30/05/2022 06:45

I have started to get Botox and for me I love the result. It has got rid of my ‘11’s that were really bothering me. I am really happy.

My DH hates Botox/filler. Points out bad lip filler jobs with boring regularity when out.

From my pov, I go to work, I pay for it, it is not financially damaging to our family. It is also not a lot so I still have lines and wrinkles - not a mask face. I am old enough to weigh up risks. I am so pleased!!

He said, me choosing to do this, it was driving a wedge in our marriage.

How much say does a husband get in beauty treatments do you think?

OP posts:
ArtVandalay · 30/05/2022 11:47

Soupercat · 30/05/2022 11:02

Baby botox. God that expression is so nauseating. You have botox

Hear hear.

Ohwowhoho · 30/05/2022 11:51

I don’t see how he has a say unless it impacts your family finances.

FWIW, my ex was like this. Claimed to hate anything fake and ‘plastic’. Said he could never date a woman with Botox, filler or plastic surgery. I’d already had Botox and filler by the time we met and continued to have top ups throughout our relationship, he was non the wiser.

Carlycat · 30/05/2022 11:51

Get it done and don't tell him. He'd never notice anyway

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Carlycat · 30/05/2022 11:56

ShirleyJackson · 30/05/2022 09:01

I have Botox and fillers.

I still have wrinkles. I still look my age.

I don’t have the resting bitch face and completely downturned mouth I had developed though.

I look like me before my face fell off. It’s a miracle. And if my DH had told me I wasn’t allowed to do it, there wouldn’t be a wedge between us - there’d be a locked front door and a distance of several miles.

This. If Botox and fillers are done by a decent aesthetician it just looks natural. I have fillers, my 82 mum and my sister have Botox and fillers. We don't look 'enhanced' We don't look false. We look rested and youthful

TwinklingFairyLights · 30/05/2022 11:58

Delatron · 30/05/2022 08:49

Good Botox wouldn’t erase every line. It softens them and you just look less wrinkly. You don’t want to look different so that people notice just fresher.

I tell my DH I’m going for a facial if he asks. He has never questioned this and claims to hate fillers/Botox. He’d definitely say something if he suspected. It’s none of his business really as it’s my money.

It’s interesting the hatred for Botox though. And the secrecy. Other procedures we’re far more open about. I told everyone I had profhilo and also laser treatment a few years ago. I don’t shout about the Botox though.

Same here, my treatments come out of my own money, not family money. I've split up with ex now but he knew I spent money getting my greys coloured, bows done, LVL lashes. He lacked interest so I didn't bother telling him when I started having Botox. Just had my 11s done so I looked less frowny.

I agree with what you say about the secrecy around Botox too, interesting isn't it. I wonder if, as if you find a skilled practitioner, the point of it isn't for it to be noticeable so hence the secrecy.

Did anyone see Kate Moss giving evidence in the Depp / Heard trial? How stunning did she look and at her age she must have had some Botox and perhaps fillers too but it's all very subtle.

ShirleyPhallus · 30/05/2022 12:23

Does everyone think the Duchess of Cambridge “looks shit”? She has had Botox and is regularly absolutely praised on here for looking perfect

JanisMoplin · 30/05/2022 12:47

ShirleyPhallus · 30/05/2022 12:23

Does everyone think the Duchess of Cambridge “looks shit”? She has had Botox and is regularly absolutely praised on here for looking perfect

No, but I really do not want to look like her. I would rather look like my unbotoxed mum, astonishing though this may be.

However in OP's case I agree it is her choice.

spanishmumireland · 30/05/2022 12:50

I do understand your husband.
I hate botox, fillers and generally all the treatments/ procedures etc....its the pressure from today's society not to look your real age. To be accepted and even admired.
It might be this one his view.
Every person I know who gets this done also say it does not impact the family budget and in every case I know it does. That might be his view too.

I like living a healthy lifestyle which includes a good diet and exercise. I like my husband believing and following the same and would definitely really hate if he started getting botox.
I don't find it controlling, it's common sense for me.
PS: My mum got botox done and looks absolutely awful. She didn't tell anyone and we pretend we don't know. I find it terribly sad.

rookiemere · 30/05/2022 12:59

@spanishmumireland I do also wonder how people afford it. I have had laser treatment to reduce facial hair at a clinic and they kept pushing botox on me until I had to say no quite forcefully, then they moved on to anti wrinkle cream Hmm.

It was £199 for 3 injections at one time . I'm not sure how long it lasts for, but that seems like a significant amount of non essential expenditure to me. I guess it's fine if it's affordable but I find it kind of sad as all my spare income goes on saving up for holidays so I can do and feel more. I just avoid photos being taken where possible, but I'm fat now as well so Botox isn't going to help with that.

KosherDill · 30/05/2022 13:01

CeeceeBloomingdale · 30/05/2022 06:48

He doesn’t get a say in what beauty treatments you pay for at all as long as it’s not family money or you’re in debt or struggling to pay bills. He does get to choose whether he is in a relationship with you. For me I would make the decision for him, I don’t require my husband to say what I can or can’t do with my own body and wouldn’t want to be married to anyone who tries to do so.

This, and why does he even know you are getting it? I keep my beauty routines and treatments private.

MintyMoocow · 30/05/2022 13:05

I won’t be injecting poison or plastic into my face to fit some societal ideal, it’s a shame that you feel you have to.

JaneJeffer · 30/05/2022 13:18

I don't like the Botox look but I don't like being told I'm not allowed to do something either. Do what you want.

CuntAmongstThePigeons · 30/05/2022 13:18

My DP and my parents are very judgemental about Botox. I just don't tell them. Been getting it for almost a decade and they've not noticed yet. Your body, your choice.

toomuchlaundry · 30/05/2022 13:20

It must be obvious an 82 year old has had some work done, as her hands and neck will give away her age. So not natural at all.

And many people on here comment on the work the Duchess of Cambridge has had done, so obviously not natural looking.

Moon22 · 30/05/2022 13:25

Your money, your face, your choice. Don't tell him. I bet he won't even notice!

SabrePrattler · 30/05/2022 13:28

Did anyone see Kate Moss giving evidence in the Depp / Heard trial? How stunning did she look and at her age she must have had some Botox and perhaps fillers too but it's all very subtle.

She looks like she's had a facelift.

MissyB1 · 30/05/2022 15:14

Whoever it was that said Kate Moss looked stunning at the Depp/Heard trial - well sorry but no she bloody didn’t! She looked plastic and weird.

ArtVandalay · 30/05/2022 15:16

I thought Kate Moss looked luminous (possibly a good ring light 😁) and lovely.

I think she has had some good work done. But then I think Kate Middleton's tweakments are very good too, and I know some of here do not.

TwinklingFairyLights · 30/05/2022 15:45

MissyB1 · 30/05/2022 15:14

Whoever it was that said Kate Moss looked stunning at the Depp/Heard trial - well sorry but no she bloody didn’t! She looked plastic and weird.

I thought she looked stunning.

carwashthecat · 30/05/2022 15:51

I think you should just get it.. and don't tell him...I did this for years and he never noticed Hmm

WillowintheUK · 30/05/2022 16:01

Carlycat · 30/05/2022 11:56

This. If Botox and fillers are done by a decent aesthetician it just looks natural. I have fillers, my 82 mum and my sister have Botox and fillers. We don't look 'enhanced' We don't look false. We look rested and youthful

Show quote history

Your 82 year old mother looks youthful? Oh right, Botox it is then. 🙄

HeartsAndClubs · 30/05/2022 16:10

it’s very sad that anyone feels the need to inject chemicals into their bodies to fit with some kind of societal expectation.

I have a family member who has Botox because her husband insists she must look young. She looks absolutely awful, but she believes she has a duty to look her best for him.

And unless you’re on a 6 figure salary of course it’s going to impact on family money.

In the current cost of living crisis how many people would be happy for their dh’s to announce that they were spending £200 plus on designer clothes for instance? Not many I’d like to bet. Botox is no different. It’s a luxury, not a necessity, but the problem is that once you start having it you have to keep having it.

TulipsGarden · 30/05/2022 16:16

Kate Moss looked exactly like Kate Moss would look if she'd had a facelift. You do not get that effect from Botox and fillers 😂I thought she looked decidedly odd, it probably hasn't quite settled down yet. She's a bit young for a facelift I feel, nowhere else to go.

JanisMoplin · 30/05/2022 16:35

Kate Moss looked strange and frozen. I understand women in the glamour industry need to look like that, but I don't see why other women need to.

However, this is derailing the thread and OP should be able to do whatever she wants.

ShirleyJackson · 30/05/2022 16:35

No societal pressure here. I doubt very much society gives a fuck about my face.

I do, though. Getting up in a morning, looking in the mirror and seeing an outside that in no way matches my inside was depressing the hell out of me.

Now I smile when I see myself. And as far as injecting chemicals goes, I don’t drink, smoke or do recreational drugs, so I reckon I’ve got a bit of leeway to play with