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‘I took in a Ukrainian refugee to live with my wife and me… then ran off with her’

226 replies

luniz · 21/05/2022 09:12

Saw this on twitter and wanted to get thoughts. Don't know how in a tragic situation, some men still prioritise their horniness over everything. His poor wife!

https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/18638671/ukraine-refugee-left-partner-love/amp/

(Sorry for linking to the sun)

OP posts:
TheVanguardSix · 21/05/2022 14:27

It is categorically not her fault.
She’s just escaped from a war zone. She’s experienced trauma that we can’t begin to imagine. You can’t blame her from grabbing on to any opportunity to ensure she remains secure and supported.
I can and do blame the twat that broke up his family because he can’t keep it in his pants. She was the first person that came up my arse. You can bet your bottom dollar he wouldn’t have been as keen to move a little elderly lady in.

How about they're BOTH dicks. You don't just get a free pass because you're fleeing a war zone. Your argument is akin to that of the rapist who sexually abused a boy in a Vienna swimming pool changing room, blaming his abhorrent actions on the trauma he'd suffered living in a war zone and subsequently fleeing it as a refugee.

Sofia and this bloke who's dumped his wife for her may end up happily ever after. And it may be the best thing that ever happened to both of them. They're not terrible people. But in the short-term they're responsible for being dicks.

My dad and aunt were refugees. My aunt had been raped more than once by enemy soldiers. My father had survived four years in a concentration camp. They lost ALL of their family to bombs and camps. Both were incredibly traumatised human beings who did not go on to destroy marriages or hinder the lives of others in 'the new country'. My aunt focused on educating herself and became a top economist for the science and engineering department of the World Bank. Sofia obviously has other plans. And may her life turn out well. But please, she's not some innocent here... trauma is no excuse for shitting on other people's lives. Everyone will get over it in time. But her desperation (and yes, she is desperate and has experienced the unimaginable) isn't a free pass to hand in her moral compass and just shit where she eats. You don't do that.

CupidStunt22 · 21/05/2022 14:30

LuaDipa · 21/05/2022 14:14

It is categorically not her fault.

She’s just escaped from a war zone. She’s experienced trauma that we can’t begin to imagine. You can’t blame her from grabbing on to any opportunity to ensure she remains secure and supported.

I can and do blame the twat that broke up his family because he can’t keep it in his pants. She was the first person that came up my arse. You can bet your bottom dollar he wouldn’t have been as keen to move a little elderly lady in.

Oh stop it. Leaving a war zone is not an excuse for shagging a married man when you've been given a free home!

Leaving a war zone doesn't make you into an angel or a traumatised child unable to be responsible for your own actions. They both made choices, they're both shitty people.

ohmyfod · 21/05/2022 14:34

I think she’s quite obviously figured him out and using him. He’s a stupid twat. He’ll be dropped like a hot potato once she gets her visa.

Gudbrand · 21/05/2022 14:38

I think that his wife has to shoulder some responsibility in that she could/should have seen it coming and strongly influenced the choice of guest

Eh??? She didn't want any refugee there because of her child having to move out of her room and share with the younger child. But he just trampled all over her wishes and the child's needs and arranged for the refugee to come there anyway. No idea how you think the "wife" (unmarried partner) was supposed to influence the choice of guest.

Soffit · 21/05/2022 14:38

They are certainly both consenting adults but the power imbalance is glaringly obvious. She probably is thinking strategically in choosing to shag him right now and selling the story to multiple newspapers to raise money for their new life. It is mainly tough on the kids.

Tillys44 · 21/05/2022 14:45

Doublevodka · 21/05/2022 10:32

The Sun is a good newspaper………..for wiping your arse on.

This has made my day 😄

misssatan · 21/05/2022 14:57

Dammitthisisshit · Today 10:01

"@Iwonder08 thinks it is the fault of the younger, vulnerable and attractive woman."

She's not exactly an innocent in this, is she? It's not as if she had to do that to save her life once she was in the UK. She knew what she was doing, just as he did.

Moodycow78 · 21/05/2022 14:59

Iwonder08 · 21/05/2022 09:33

What a lovely person that Sofia girl is.. This family opened their home for her and she hooked up with the husband.

Yes Sophia is the one at fault here darling 🤔

beeeeeeeeeeeeeeee · 21/05/2022 15:02

Oh stop it. Leaving a war zone is not an excuse for shagging a married man when you've been given a free home!
Leaving a war zone doesn't make you into an angel or a traumatised child unable to be responsible for your own actions. They both made choices, they're both shitty people

Have you escaped many war zones that you can confidently know how you would be feeling and behaving ?
Easy to have morals and principles from the safety of your nice warm home isn't it ?
Wonder how many on here vilifying this young woman would be doing the same given the choice of staying in a worn torn country, or presented with the opportunity to get out would take it.
Undoubtedly like most cheaters he will have lied about his relationship to his long term partner, I imagine desperation will have you believing them.
I'm normally of the opinion that OW do need to shoulder some of the responsibility in these kind of situations, but in this scenario this exploitative sleaze bag is internet shopping for women in a war zone.

mintybobs · 21/05/2022 15:07

TheVanguardSix · 21/05/2022 14:27

It is categorically not her fault.
She’s just escaped from a war zone. She’s experienced trauma that we can’t begin to imagine. You can’t blame her from grabbing on to any opportunity to ensure she remains secure and supported.
I can and do blame the twat that broke up his family because he can’t keep it in his pants. She was the first person that came up my arse. You can bet your bottom dollar he wouldn’t have been as keen to move a little elderly lady in.

How about they're BOTH dicks. You don't just get a free pass because you're fleeing a war zone. Your argument is akin to that of the rapist who sexually abused a boy in a Vienna swimming pool changing room, blaming his abhorrent actions on the trauma he'd suffered living in a war zone and subsequently fleeing it as a refugee.

Sofia and this bloke who's dumped his wife for her may end up happily ever after. And it may be the best thing that ever happened to both of them. They're not terrible people. But in the short-term they're responsible for being dicks.

My dad and aunt were refugees. My aunt had been raped more than once by enemy soldiers. My father had survived four years in a concentration camp. They lost ALL of their family to bombs and camps. Both were incredibly traumatised human beings who did not go on to destroy marriages or hinder the lives of others in 'the new country'. My aunt focused on educating herself and became a top economist for the science and engineering department of the World Bank. Sofia obviously has other plans. And may her life turn out well. But please, she's not some innocent here... trauma is no excuse for shitting on other people's lives. Everyone will get over it in time. But her desperation (and yes, she is desperate and has experienced the unimaginable) isn't a free pass to hand in her moral compass and just shit where she eats. You don't do that.

I agree. PLENTY of people have been through horrific trauma as children or as adults and it doesnt give them carte blanche to go around treating others like shit. ESPECIALLY when that person has shown them extraordinary kindness.

Of course what she's been through isnt her fault but it is her responsibility not to treat others like the dirt on her shoe. If everyone who had been through trauma did this, we'd all be stabbing each other in the back constantly and noone would ever be content and we would all be constantly betrayed all the time.

misssatan · 21/05/2022 15:09

LuaDipa · Today 14:14

"It is categorically not her fault. She’s just escaped from a war zone. She’s experienced trauma that we can’t begin to imagine. You can’t blame her from grabbing on to any opportunity to ensure she remains secure and supported."

On the contrary, I can easily blame her.

Being traumatised doesn't make it OK to shag someone else's husband, especially if you're enjoying their hospitality. Trauma is never an excuse for doing shitty things. It might help explain someone's actions but it doesn't excuse them. Obviously he's the prime villain in the story as he's the one betraying is wife and family but she's definitely played her part.

There's a real tendency on feminist sites to cast every woman in the role of poor, put upon victim and dismiss her active part in wrong doing. Women are perfectly capable of being as vile as men. Let's not pretend we're all angels.

Rahrahrahrahannoyed · 21/05/2022 15:12

ohmyfod · 21/05/2022 12:43

No she isn’t completely innocent but she’s vulnerable and traumstised. He’ll be ensuring she’s pregnant soon enough to trap her, no doubt.

He sounds a sadistic emotional abuser. He appears to have loved every single minute of taunting and gaslighting Lorna. Deliberately learning how to communite with Sofia in ber own language in front of Lorna. Lorna being upset the kids were being demoted to second class citizens in their own home so Sofia could have her own room, and him implying she was a screeching unreasonable fishwife over it.

And the nerve to go to the press as well. Not only has he abandoned and traumatised Laura and his children, he’s exposed and humiliated them as well.

He’s a sick fuck. I worry for Sofia.

I very much agree with this perspective. People's perspectives will be warped by past pains.
I feel deeply for Lorna.

ItsDinah · 21/05/2022 15:19

I suppose he still gets the £350 a month for housing her and his wife will be entitled to Universal Credit. If he and wife were not on UC previously, they might both be better off financially with this new arrangement,particularly if you take into account the passported extra discounts/benefits that come with Universal Credit.

BriceNobeslovesMurielHeslop · 21/05/2022 15:20

I’m not entirely sure I buy Sofia’s “oh we are so in love” routine - if she had turned him down and he’d kicked her out, where would she have gone?

ventreàterre · 21/05/2022 15:38

If this is even partially true (looks so fake!), the only winner here is the ex-partner. She's rid herself of a fickle idiot of a man. With any luck, her next choice will be better. He's obviously trash, and Sofia is, too. She looks quite smug, clearly pleased with herself for taking advantage of the situation and probably getting a thrill from "stealing someone's man". There's no excuse for either of them.

ohmyfod · 21/05/2022 15:58

Of course she isn’t completely innocent. But the blame honestly does mostly lie with him. He has set this up and taken advantage. If she had rejected his advances, do you really think he’d have just backed off? He’d either be harassing her constantly in the home or would be turfing her out.

Saying they have a cultural bond is fucking laughable. I have a Russian grandparent too. Doesn’t mean I crave sex with a Russian man to really get in touch with my cultural identity.

This man is sick in the head. He’s clearly an emotional abuser. Just read the article and she how he’s gloating about taunting and distressing Lorna and their children. Encouraging the children to bond with Sofia knowing it was upsetting Lorna. He’s got a kick out of messing with Lorna and their children’s heads.

I am seriously worried for Sofia being stuck with this creep. At least Lorna presumably has family and friends in the UK as support.

ohmyfod · 21/05/2022 16:06

“But if anything that made things worse because Lorna didn’t know what we were talking about. Sofiia and I would sit and chat, have a drink and watch TV with Ukrainian subtitles, sometimes after Lorna had gone to bed” What an absolute prince. Making Lorna feel like an unwelcome guest in ber own home.

“We would sit in the car after going to the gym and we’d sit talking and laughing as we looked across the city.“ Sure you did.

"Although it was fairly innocent it was causing arguments. I can understand that. When I got in at night Sofiia would be the one who had made a meal for me to try.“. Ah, so Lorna wasn’t enough of a Stepford wife for him. Lorna was no doubt swamped with the childcare responsibilities whilst he was out gallvanting at the gym and shagging Sofia and clearly didn’t have time to cook for this charmer. But Sofia saves the day!

beeeeeeeeeeeeeeee · 21/05/2022 16:19

I can understand why the Sun would run with this story, but you've got to wonder what his motivations where for proudly declaring he is a cheating scum bag in a national newspaper. Did he think readers would think he was doing something nice for the poor Ukrainian lady and wish him well, or was he trying to cause more pain to his ex partner.
Either way he's a revolting human specimen, that his ex is well shut off.

Crimeismymiddlename · 21/05/2022 16:37

He really is a dingy sleaze bag. Selecting a pretty young women, who looks just like the mother of his children. Yuck.
Sophia probably did fancy him, proximity does that sometimes but would definitely never look twice at him if she was in normal life and not a
displaced refugee.
She has probably only gone with him to his parents-oh the romance, because Lorna was about to chuck her out. She had a good job in the Ukrain so will have good qualifications and won’t find it had to get on her feet again, he seems like a deadloss. When she dumps him I hope Lorna won’t take him back. Though, uncharitably I do feel that Lorna must have known he would jump ship as soon as the opportunity came up-they are together ten years and she changes her name by deed-poll rather than get married. That’s really odd.

Vikinga · 21/05/2022 16:41

10 days? Who decides to leave the mother of his 2 kids in 10 days? It takes me longer to decide what hairstyle i want cutting! He sounds like a prize.

The Ukranian girl is probably traumatised and trying to find some stability /anchor. She's quite young too.

Bonjovispjs · 21/05/2022 18:20

They're both as bad as each other, won't be long before it all goes tits up! I hope Lorna finds happiness!)

Soffit · 21/05/2022 18:38

i remember the Ben Cohen scandal. Nobody thought it would last but they are still together. I know it was a bit different in terms of circumstances but he also said something similar to this one about feeling really looked after by her compared to his wife. It may be a cultural difference as women in my family often behaved in this way (even if it was through gritted teeth and they were treated worse for it).

orangeisthenewpuce · 21/05/2022 18:53

Ha! They never wanted to hurt anyone. Absolute shite. They're both as bad as each other. His fingernails are gross Shock

Hm2020 · 21/05/2022 19:01

Not one mention how the kids feel or what they’re going through just the mention of looking for an apartment in the trendy city centre.

Cheesechips · 21/05/2022 19:16

The Sun is a gutter rag. I wouldn't believe anything they write.

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